I dont want to live with my daughters family! Let me explain why.
My daughter and her family suddenly found themselves without a place to stay. After their house in Oxford was damaged in a terrible flood, the home became uninhabitable and needed major repairs. Naturally, my daughter Emily, her husband, and their little ones moved in with me here in Cambridge.
Of course, they had nowhere else to go, so I welcomed them into my flat. Still, after a good chat with Emily and my son-in-law, we all agreed this was only temporarytheyd be back home as soon as possible, once the repairs were done.
I have a lovely daughter, and my son-in-law, James, is no fool, so we were all on the same page: a family ought to be independent, and everyone else, even close relatives, is in some sense an outsider. Im quite firm on this, and I suppose now is the moment to explain exactly why I feel this way.
Ive got my own routines and way of living, which are utterly different from those of Emily and James. I can stand having Emily about, of courseshes my daughter, after allbut James, well, hes completely outside my usual circle, and he also deserves some privacy. Theres no use arguing about my habit of falling asleep with the telly on, or about Emily and James inviting people over at all hours. We all have a different idea of what constitutes a tidy home, so theres little point quarrelling over whos done the washing up. Even the smallest irritations can sour the warmest relationships.
Then, theres our completely different tastes in food. And dont get me started on how it feels when guests appear out of the blue! We all know what happens thensomeones bound to be tempted by anothers treats lurking in the fridge. But honestly, you cant exactly put a padlock on the fridge.
Different sleeping patterns are another headache. I like a cup of tea and a quiet wind-down before bed, and Im up early, while theyre night owls and have the kids on their own schedule. You end up tiptoeing around at all hours, and lack of sleep can make anyone cranky and prone to snappingsometimes, all it takes is the tiniest spark and everything blows up.
Whats more, I dont want to be forced into judging my daughters life or her husbands choices. Ive taught Emily everything I could, and now Id rather just see what she chooses to show meI dont wish to know the rest. Thats hardly possible, though, if youre all sharing the same living space.
Most importantly, I want to be the one to decide how and when Im able to help, and Id prefer to offer support on my own terms. Its also crucial I have time for myself.
So, yes, while I love my family dearly and open my home to them in a time of crisis, sharing a flat like this simply isnt for me.
