It happened about a year and a half ago, in the midst of winter, when my son was just five months old. My husbands brother asked if he and his girlfriend could stay with us for a week. How could I say no? I certainly wasnt thrilled at the ideaour baby was barely out of the newborn stage, I wasnt sleeping or eating properly, and I barely had a moment to myself. But family is family, and I hoped maybe theyd lend a hand, give me some respite, or at the very least offer a bit of company over a cup of tea.
They arrived with nothing in hand to stay for a weeknot even a small rattle for the baby. I have this unwritten rule: I never visit a home where theres a child without bringing something, thats just how I was brought up, but I suppose this situation is a little different.
They gave some vague as to their reasons for visiting, but didnt really explain.
I made sure everything was in order; I cooked and cleaned and got to know them a bit better. Everything seemed fine on the surface, but throughout the days they stayed, she didnt once offer to help me in the kitchen, lend a hand tidying up, or even watch the baby for a few minutes while I tackled the chores.
She would head out early in the morning for various errands, her boyfriend would sleep until midday, my husband was at work, and I was left dashing about the flat with the baby. Shed come and go as she pleased, but once back, her spot was firmly planted on the sofa until evening, lounging or watching television.
Meanwhile, I was trying to nurse and care for my son, mop the floors (everything was muddy and wet outside, so the mess was constant), cook meals, and keep the baby clean and fed.
By the third day, Id had enough. I finally voiced my frustrations to my husband, but he simply shruggedits not a mans place to get caught up in a disagreement between women, according to him. On the fourth day, my husband came home from work and the happy couple headed off to the cinema.
Together, my husband and I quickly prepared dinner, ate, and before we knew it, the two of them were back, this time loaded up with beers and all sorts of snacksnaturally, not a single thing for a breastfeeding mother; not even a slice of cake.
The cheerful pair sat down to eat and then went off to watch a film, calling my husband along too. I felt completely overlooked and, stung by their lack of care, I pulled her aside and said,
Look, Im sorry, but you could at least offer to help once. Ive got a tiny baby here, Im utterly exhausted. Couldnt you peel some potatoes for soup, or at least ask if theres anything you can do?
She fired back, Are you trying to punish me? I dont think thats fair! Im tired too. (Tired from whatthe sofa?)
I replied, Hang on, youre in my flat. You are my guests here, not the other way round.
Im not listening to any more of this! she snapped.
Well then, I think its best you pack your things and leave!
They gathered their belongings and left. I cried for ages afterwards, feeling hurt and resentful.
What do you think? Was their behaviour at all acceptable?
