After I gave birth, I put on a bit of weight. It wasnt much, barely noticeable really, but still My husband started grumbling, constantly dropping hints and making sharp remarks about how I looked.
Instead of saying, It doesnt matter, love, youre still the most wonderful woman to me, and waiting for me to bounce back, he walked out. Left with such cold finality that one day he simply didnt return at all. I was suddenly holding our son alone in my arms I neednt go into details, its clear enough.
Eventually, after the endless nights of lying awake, wanting to disappear, something inside me snapped. I picked myself up and clawed my way back to life. I adopted a dog, called him Max, and began running with him at sunrise along the misty paths in our neighbourhood park. My body ached, my spirit was battered, but the routine kept me grounded and pulled me away from the shadows in my mind. Sport became my anchor, and when I finally found work again, I signed up for the local fitness club.
Unlike the other instructors, the personal trainer there Alex Turner was an attentive soul, patient and genuinely kind. After years of regular workouts, I didnt just regain my figure I enhanced it. Lets call it a one-and-a-half times improvement. I rediscovered self-love; I cherished my body for the first time in ages.
One day, as I walked home, gym bag slung over my shoulder and wearing my jogging kit, I spotted my ex-husband standing at the front door of my flat, clutching a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolate truffles. Apparently hed rung the bell, but our son hadnt answered. That was the moment I realised right there and then I had the opportunity so many abandoned women only dream of
To make him cry with regret.
I tossed my hair, squared my shoulders, pulled my vest straight, and strode right up to him.
And do you know what he said? Miss, do you live in this building? Can you let me in?
A cold, bitter laugh escaped me. I covered my face with my hands, feeling a fierce, triumphant joy rise up inside me, and stepped aside.
Whats so funny? he snapped, impatient and suddenly defensive.
Whats made me laugh? I echoed, finally looking him full in the face. It was at the registry office When I stood beside you, promising to love and protect. And here I am, still able to laugh.
He looked at me, searching for something hed lost.
Youve got ten seconds to leave this driveway, I said, my tone flat and final.
Can I see our son, just for a minute? he pleaded.
Out. Now. I replied.
He walked away, looking back over his shoulder, his eyes flickering with something like hope, or racked by the knowledge that the door was closing for good. But none of it mattered. Dreams do come true if you want them enough.
