All my friends have mums who can easily look after their grandchildren. For my mum, though, the idea of caring for her granddaughter is practically impossible. She always says the same thing Shes your child. I raised mine. My daughter, Lucy, is five and goes to nursery. Two years ago, after I finished my maternity leave, I had to head back to work Im a primary school teacher, so unfortunately I cant just take time off whenever I like. In these moments, itd be a real blessing to have Mum nearby.
I actually have a fair bit of free time, especially in the winter since we dont have a holiday cottage or anything. My mums at home most of the day, aside from watching quiz shows and chatting to her friends on the phone. She really doesnt do much else. Just last week, we took Lucy to the optician and found out she has issues with her eyesight. I rang my mum and told her wed have to take Lucy to the clinic for ten days. We pick her up from nursery around one oclock, and she needs dropping off at the clinic in the morning. Everythings just around the corner the nursery, the clinic, even my mums house.
Lucys well-behaved and my mum knows it. Shes not grumpy, shes quiet, tidy, and always eats whats given to her. Still, my mums got this really strong reluctance to help out. The other day, both my husband and I had to go in to work and desperately needed Mums help.
Honestly, it would be amazing if Mum could just pop round and help out for a few days but she flatly refuses. Luckily, weve got other family close by who help out in a pinch. My nan lives just next door and doesnt seem to be doing much lately, so it made lots of sense for her to step in and watch Lucy while were both at work. It doesnt cost us anything extra since shes round the corner, and it takes a huge weight off our shoulders.
Since Mum retired, Ive been helping her out with money. I send her cash all the time and cover all her rent twice a month, every month. Whenever me and my husband go shopping, we bring Mum along and often end up covering the bill. On every special occasion, I buy her really lovely presents usually pretty pricey ones too. But Mum just takes all this for granted. She thinks just because Im her daughter, its my job to bring her food and pay her rent. I genuinely dont get it! She seems to think that looking after my child is entirely my own issue, nothing to do with her.
It honestly seems like grandmothers these days feel no obligation to help with the grandkids, yet many still do. Do you think thats fair? I cant lie, it hurts. I try so hard for my mum, and I just dont feel any appreciation from her.
