Today, when I arrived at the nursery to collect my son, he ran straight into my arms and whispered into my ear with such urgency:
Mum, Mum, can we please take Charlies grandma home with us?
What? Whose grandma? What are you on about? I said, completely baffled. Come on, get your coat on, Daddys waiting in the car.
That grandma! Harry pointed at an elderly lady who was slowly leading a little boy out of the building. Charlies grandma! Thats who I mean!
Dont be silly, darling. Shes someone elses grandma.
So what? Harry whined. Ask her if shell be my grandma too. Please, Mum.
You have your own grandmas. Not just one, but two! Why do you want another one? Enough daydreaming, lets get your scarf on.
But, Mum His face crumpled with misery as he pulled on his thick trousers. My grandmastheyre not proper grandmas. Charlies is a real one.
Im not sure what you mean, sweetheart. Of course your grandmas are real! Theyre our mumsDads and mine. Not Charlies.
But that doesnt matter! Harry said, gazing at me with sorrowful eyes. So what if theyre your mums? That didnt make them proper grandmas.
How are they not? Youre our son, so our mums are your grandmas. Thats just how it works!
But I dont want automatic grandmas! he insisted. I want real ones.
And whats a real grandma, then? Whats different about Charlies?
Charlies lets him call her Grandma loud and proud, right in the middle of the playground, Harry began to explain. My grandma insists I call her just Anne, and the other one gets cross if I shout, Granny when were outside.
What do you mean, cross?
She says, What grandma? Im not old enough to be anybodys granny! Dont embarrass me!
Thats my mum who says that to you?
Yes. She says you just push me off onto her. But Charlies grandma says Charlies the best thing that ever happened to her. I wish I could be the best thing in someones life, too.
I just cant believe my mum would say that My heart sank, and I quietly urged him, Come on, lets get dressed quickly, darling. Dad will start to worry. What about Grandma Anne, does she mind you calling her granny?
She doesnt tell me off, Harry muttered. She just ignores me when I say it, and only answers when I call her Anne. Then she actually praises me. Mum, can I ask something else? Why dont my grannies know how to make proper food?
What? I stared in surprise. What are you talking about? Are you trying to say you go hungry when you stay with your grandmas?
Thats right, he replied swiftly.
Oh, come off it! Ive seen what they cook for youbetter than anything I had as a child. Nothing but the best for you!
Harry pulled a face. Sausages, ready meals, salad Hardly the best food.
What is it you want instead, then?
Pancakes.
Pancakes? I repeated.
Yeah. Or drop scones. Charlies grandma said to him today, When we get back, Ill make you some warm drop scones, with clotted cream and jam. Remember how we made jam together last summer? Charlie nodded and looked so happy. My grannies never make jam with me.
Oh, Harry The longing in his voice tugged at my heart. Shall we have tea with jam tonight? We can stop at the shop and buy some.
Its not the same. Shop jam is never any good.
How do you know?
I asked them before. They bought it. Its not the same.
And have you asked them to make pancakes?
Yeah Harry was tugging his coat on, unsmiling. They say its a faff and just take me to a café where the pancakes are cold and the jams all sugary. But Charlies grandma says pancakes fresh from the pan are the best food ever.
Oh, yes I said dreamily, taking Harrys hand in mine and leading him outside. They really are. My own granny used to make those for me when I was your age
As we made our way to the car park where Harrys dad was waiting, I pulled out my phone and rang my friend.
Sophie, are you home now? I asked, feeling rather sheepish.
Yes, whats up? she replied.
Do you mind if I ask you a favour? Please dont laugh.
What is it?
You said once you make amazing drop scones, that your boy eats them by the dozen
Well, yes?
Can you give me the recipe? I blurted. Sophie started chuckling straight away. I told youdont laugh! Harrys set his heart on them.
Youd better come round and Ill show you myself.
When?
Now, if you like.
I cant just now I hesitated. Ive only just picked Harry up from nursery, and my husbands waiting in the car.
Bring them both! The boys can meet. Ill put the kettle on. Come over, Ill show you how its done, she laughed, and hung up before I could argue.
The next morning, I arranged a few hours off and popped round to Mums. Together, we tried baking drop sconesdespite her huffing and complaining, muttering about modern grannies having better things to do. But I put my foot down:
Mum, if were getting in the way, Ill never bring Harry over again. Do you know what makes a real grandma? And how come you never bother making jam in the summer, when you have a grandson now?
She wanted to snap back, but when she saw the look on my face, she changed her mind and said nothingfor once.
When Vera Came to Collect Her Son from Nursery, He Threw His Arms Around Her Neck and Whispered Passionately in Her Ear:
