The Subjunctive Mood

The Subjunctive Mood

A proposal? He proposed? Julia, have you lost your mind? Whats there to think about?!

Its complicated, Olivia

Oh, for heavens sake! Whats complicated about it? Olivia shrugged off her coat and dropped into a chair. I ran all the way here! Ive only got half an hourthen I need to take Maisy to ballet and get Alfie to football practice.

Ollie, the lads nearly six, dont you think its time to stop calling him Alfie?

He should be grateful, really! Youll never believe ityesterday, he came home from school and announced hes fallen in love! With Lisa from next door! Said hes getting married. How do you like that?

So what? Seems perfectly normal for your boy. You remember what you were like!

Dont compare us! My mum nearly had a heart attack when I told her I wanted to get married! Olivia laughed. How old was I? Fifteen?

Fourteen! And you nearly sent her into shock! Mum, Ive made up my mind! And your Paul didnt even look in your direction back then, but that didnt bother you.

So what? Look how it turned out! Hes my husband now, and Im paying for all my youthful madness. Mum shouldve punished me moregiving me dish duty for a year was hardly anything! Shouldve just grounded me.

As if anyone could keep you in! Mum knew you had your wits about youeven if you did love a bit of drama.

Hah! Except where you were involved! Remember how wed fight as kids? I couldnt stand you. Pretty Julia-the-perfect and I was always the wild child.

Mum never said that.

But Gran certainly made up for it! She was always predicting shame and scandal, but look at us now!

Yeah, well, I wasnt exactly the sensible one either

Julia sighed and pushed her cup away.

Jules Olivia reached out and took her sisters hand. Whats wrong?

Im scared, Ollie.

Of what?! For once, youve met a man who doesnt make you want to run for the hills, and now youre scared. Whats the matter?

Im worried hell never accept Max.

Olivia frowned. Why do you think that?

Its simple. Last night, after the roses and this lovely ring, he asked if Max could stay with Mum for a week after the wedding

Julia turned to look out the window, nervously twisting the ring on her finger.

The ring was beautiful and clearly expensive.

But then, you wouldnt expect anything else from Charles. Successful entrepreneur, sportsman, a lover of good music and good companyhed surprised everyone, including himself, when he settled down and decided Julia deserved the very best. He was never stingy, having taken his mothers advice to heart:

Son, a woman will stand by you through hard times if she loves youbut shell think twice if you have money and wont spend it on her. And shes right to! If shes considering life with you, her first thought will be If hes tight with me, will he be stingy with my child someday?

But Mum, why does she need to think that? What does a child have to do with it?

Remember the story of poor Elsa? Most women are at least a little like her. Its part of who we arewe think ahead, plan for problems. And yes, we sometimes make mistakes, but a woman who considers her future is less likely to get left behind.

Charles took those words seriously. How could he not, growing up with a strong mother who, after her husband left her with a baby, managed on her own and gave her son everything? His own father had left as soon as he found a new love. No concerns for where Kate would go with an infant in tow; she simply had to survive.

Kates parents lived in a remote Yorkshire village and shed had no intention of going back. When she left for university in Manchester, she had counted the hours until she was free of that dreary place where only home brew had value. She rented a tiny room, took odd jobs wherever she could find them. She learned to fend for herself.

She hadnt married for love, but for some stabilitywhich Charles would never know. Why burden a child with those truths? Instead, she showed him a better way.

Eventually, Kate landed a job as housekeeper for Professor Alexander Greenwood, a widower who barely noticed the world any more.

Professor, you must eat! shed say, putting soup before him.

Later, Kate, later

No, now! Its vital.

You think so?

I know so! You cant live on thin air. Your late wife would haunt me if I didnt look after you.

You sound like my gran hed sigh.

But Professor Greenwood, with no children of his own, became almost a grandfather to Charles. And one day, after much thought, he called Kate in.

Kate, sit down. Ive something to say, he said, pacing the parlour, staring at his late wifes portrait. Im not offering romance. My heart remains with her. But I can give you and Charles a secure home. Im old; I have no heirs. The two of you could inherit all I have. Think on it.

Kate was silent for a long time. Then she nodded.

Thank you. I understand what this means to you. I accept your proposalnot for myself, but for Charles. He deserves a different future.

A quiet registry office wedding followed, and, over time, Alexander became a true father to Charles.

Nearly a year later, after Kate asked, Alexander said yes to her going back to university.

Quite right, Kate! A degrees essentialsets a good example for the boy, he said.

She nodded, smiling, while planning her own future. She wouldnt be a housekeeper forever.

Eventually, Kate set up her own small business, organising catering and cleaning events. She loved it, and Alexander was a devoted step-grandad to Charles.

Meanwhile, Charless biological father went quickly, ignored them both, and never asked after his son. But when Professor Greenwood passed away, Charles was already a young man. Kate told him the whole truth.

Mum, but he loved me as his own

More than his own, Id say. Sometimes, blood doesnt matter. Professor gave us a home, security, and hope. Thats worth more than anything. Your real father? Never even checked you were alive.

Kates hardships had made her thankful. Without her quick divorce, Charles wouldnt have had the life he did.

She later moved to her cottage in Kent, gave Charles the city flat, and waited patiently for grandchildren.

But time went on, and Charles struggled to find a partner who lived up to his standards.

What are you fussing for, Charles? Kate would ask. Youve met loads of lovely girls!

Loads, Mum.

Exactly! And bright ones. Like Alice and Lydia, remember? Why not them?

Not for me, Mum. Alice is career-mad; doesnt want kids or care for a home. Her place is like a magazinebeautiful but soulless. Id never relax there. Shes perfect for the company, but not for me.

And Lydia?

Shes wonderful, reallybut I dont love her. Isnt that enough?

Fair point.

So when Julia appeared in his life, Kate was delighted. Especially as she had a child. That didnt bother her at all.

Charles, are you sure youre up for this responsibility?

Mum, you raised me. How could I forget that? But what if the boy doesnt take to me?

Dont be silly. Work for it. Any mother puts her child first. Want the womanwin over her son. And for goodness sake, think before you leap. A childs life isnt a toy! Julia is strong, shell manage if you walk away, but the boy? Hell remember. So, be certain. Think hard.

Charles took her advice to heart, and got to work.

Hed done his partand now Julia sat in her favourite café, fretting over her next move. She loved him, but life with someone who wouldnt accept her son was unthinkable.

Olivia, meanwhile, squirmed in her chair, fighting the urge to give her sister a lecturebut in the end, she couldnt help herself.

What exactly did he say?

Who? Julia snapped out of her brooding.

Charles, who else! What did he say about Max?

Nothing really. Just that perhaps Max could stay with Mum for a week after the wedding.

For once, Julia lost her composure and banged her teaspoon loudly. The waiter glanced over, but Olivia waved him off. She retrieved the spoon and flicked Julia lightly on the forehead, just like when they were kids.

Ow! Julia glared, rubbing her brow. Whats that for?

Oh, come on! You remember, surely! Were not kids anymorehavent been since you found out about Max. Or was it even earlier?

Maybe before

Exactly. Young and daft, as Gran said. Really, you still havent learnt?

What do you mean? Julia snatched the spoon back.

I meanif youd just talked to someone back then, if youd told me, at least?

I dont know But its too late to wonder. Whats done is done.

True, but I keep wondering: whatll it take for you to finally talk to the people who actually care?

Julia looked away and sighed. Olivia could be insufferable, but this time Julia knew she was right. Max wasnt born because of luck, but despite everything, and her family always knew the truth.

Shed met Maxs father, Nick, at school. Used to swoon if he so much as glanced her way. Shed go early just to see him walk by and say hey. The fact it wasnt just for her didnt matter much. The reality would dawn on her later.

Nick did eventually notice herat prom night, he took her by the hand and led her away, knowing no parents would be home.

Why she went along with it, Julia would never be able to explain, even to herself. Well-read, close to her mumyet about her first love, she kept silent. Even on a family holiday in Cornwall, when news of her pregnancy weighed on her, she couldnt speak.

It was Olivia, ever watchful, who roped in Paul and the gang. That evening, Olivia hugged her, ignoring Julias confusion.

Dont be scared, Jules. Forget him, hes not worth a word. Got what he wanted.

Who got? Olivia, what are you on about? Julia would snap, shaking free. But shock would get the better of her, and she fainted, just as Mum burst in.

Julia came round soon enough, lying on the sofa as her mother stroked her hair, crying.

Why not tell me, Julia? Was secrecy any better?

Shed sob along with her mum and Olivia, all interrupted only by Dad coming home.

For goodness sake, whats all this?! Niagara Falls? Girls, youre mad! This is a time for joy. Were going to be grandparents! Whatever happens, we love you, Julia. Come on, chin up!

Julia would never again feel such overwhelming gratitude for her parents kindnessashamed, but loved, with their acceptance.

And Max would be born into a family lacking the traditional mum-and-dad, but surrounded by people who saw his life as a joy, not a burden.

Thanks to her parents support, Julia finished her studies and built a life for herself and her sonconfident in their future. Charless appearance threatened this security and her doubts were legitimate.

Could she put Maxs future at risk for her own happiness?

Shed made mistakes beforewhere would she and Max be now without her familys help? Did she really want more?

Her dilemma was plain to see, and Olivia, still chuckling, waved the waiter over for another round of eclairs.

Jules, love, you really need to learn to talk to people who care. Especially Charles. Just ask him why he wants Max to stay with your mum after the wedding. Is it really so hard?

I dont know Maybe youre right. Just ask?

Yes! Just ask. Right now.

Olivia snatched Julias phone and waved it under her nose.

Call him!

Ollie, hes in a meeting!

So? Youll find out how much you matter to him!

You cant just

Nonsense! Olivia huffed. If you wont call, text him.

What will he think of me?

Does it matter? Youve got his ring on your finger. You either said yes or you didnt.

Im still thinking

If you didnt say no, you said yes! How are you going to build a relationship if you cant ask even the simplest question? He cant read your mind. Tell him what you want! Stop with the if only Make a decision!

If only I knew what I wanted Julia was close to tears, but she took the phone. Just ask?

Just ask! Olivia nodded, exasperated.

The reply came quicklyher phone chirped, and Julias face lit up.

So? Do you get it now? Olivia smiled, checking the time. Oh no, Im late! No rest for the wickedfootball, ballet, off I run! Stop stewing. Itll all work out. He just wants time with youone week just the two of you, one with Max. Youre not just a mum, youre a woman, too. Im almost jealous! Paul would never have thought of that. Oh, and talk to Maxbet hed be glad to call Charles Dad.

You think so?

I know so. Not that you heard it from me!

Olivia grabbed her coat, flashed a cheeky grin, tapped her head for think on, and dashed out.

Julia sat and thought.

And in the end, her thinking paid off.

Three years later, a proud Max took his newborn sister from his stepfathers arms and, with a shy nod, called him Dad.

Careful, Max! Julia moved to help her son, but Charles held her gently, letting brother and sister meet for the first time.

Dont worry. Hell be finewont you, son?

Dad! Relax, Ive got her, Max smiled, carefully adjusting the frilly shawl that he and Charles had picked out together. Mumshes beautiful.

Sometimes, the future we build is even better than any we once imaginedespecially when we find the courage to talk, to trust, and to love again.