The Price of Arrogance
Sarah, could I borrow a couple of things from you? Jane asked, her tone pleading, as she stepped into her sisters charming flat.
She couldnt help but glance around the spacious hallway with its stylish furniture, those vintage mirrors with ornate frames, and the crisp little stool by the door. It all looked as if it had been lifted straight off the pages of a glossy interiors magazine. That old but familiar twinge of envy awoke in her chestSarah had always seemed to get everything just right.
Sarah appeared in the living room doorway, studying Jane carefully. Even in her soft cashmere lounge set, thrown on for a weekday, Sarah wore that effortless elegance Jane had been trying to master for years.
So, whats this big secret? Sarahs voice was calm as she leaned against the doorframe.
Jane instinctively tugged at her sleeveher coat wasnt new but still presentable. She tried not to look at the large canvas on the wall, the impeccable tidiness, or to notice the inviting smell of fresh coffee drifting through the air.
Its nothing huge… Jane muttered, fumbling for the right words.
Sarah didnt look away, and Jane realised she wouldnt be able to dodge the question. Drawing a long breath, she blurted out, Saturdays the school reunion. I have to go! And I need to look flawless, you know? I want everyone to think my life is a total fairy tale!
Why, though? Sarah asked, finally turning away. Why put on a show for people you barely speak to, people youll probably never see again? You dont just live in another cityyoure in a different county!
Jane ran her fingers through her hair, suddenly desperate for a kitchen like Sarahswith a breakfast bar, built-in oven, and those fashionable pendant lights. To start her day sipping good coffee, not blitzing about in a frenzied panic.
You dont get it! she burst out. It matters to me. I want them to see I made it. I want everyone to believe I did something with my life. I dont want anyone thinking Im… a failure.
She stopped, realising she was openly staring at Sarah with more than a hint of jealousy. Her sister didnt seem to noticeor maybe just didnt care.
So, youre really going to put on some actpretend to be someone youre not? Sarah asked gently, sitting herself down. Do you truly think itll impress anyone?
Its not about that, Jane shook her head. I just want the old classmates to think my dreams all came true.
Alright then, Sarah eventually sighed. Lets see what I have. But promise methis is the first and only time youre going to mislead people. Its hardly fair, is it?
You just dont understand!
And with that, Jane launched into the whole story
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back at school, Jane had been the class stareveryone could see it. Down the corridors, a line of boys always trailed behind her, each hoping to catch her attention for just a moment. The teachers, without even realising, would go softer on her when she looked at them with that dreamy, slightly sad gazeit seemed to have a spellbinding effect on grown-ups. Her parents, for their part, never said no to her. If she so much as raised an eyebrow or heaved a small sigh, whatever she wanted would simply appear.
She was used to getting her way. If a new pair of trainers had only just come out in town, her mum would bring them home in a pretty box the very next day. If a handsome new boy showed up at school, within a week hed be walking Jane home. It became a little gamehow far could she push it, how many wishes granted, how many boundaries bent?
Because I can, she would repeat in her head, almost like a mantra. It became her personal motto, her catch-all justification. If a friend started hanging around with a boy Jane fancied, shed swoop in, always with the intent to win. Not because she really cared about these boys, but for the thrill of winning someone over, just to see if she could. Nearly every time, she did.
Old friends began drifting away. First one stopped inviting her out, then another found new mates. Jane didnt fretthere were always others who desperately wanted her approval, someone eager to get into the circle. She took it as her due: if people couldnt keep pace, they just werent cut out to be near her.
At the leavers prom, she genuinely felt like royalty. The hall, all fairy lights and balloons, might as well have been her own ballroom. Classmates hung around her, hoping for a glance or a word. She was exactly in the centre of thingsjust where she liked it.
The power, the adulation, it went to her head. When old memories came up in conversation, she let rip with a torrent of cutting remarks about her classmates: dredging up petty grievances, picking at insecurities, making barbed comments about appearances. The words spilled out unchecked, her old competitiveness lighting up inside her: how would they react to this? Would they try to fight back?
My lifes going to be absolutely splendid! Jane announced loftily, head held high as she surveyed her classmates. Her voice rang confident, as if she could already step into that brilliant future.
She paused to bask in the attention, then continued, even more fired up: I can see it alreadyrich husband, a big house with staff, gorgeous cars, luxurious holidays, dinner partiesmaybe Ill have my own business, but honestly, Ill probably never have to work a day in my life! Money, glamour, admirationitll all be mine!
There was a wicked glint in her eye, a self-satisfied smile. She was truly picturing it: the sparkling chandeliers, top-of-the-range cars, champagne evenings at fancy restaurants.
And as for all of youwell, things will be rather different! she suddenly switched tone, singling out a quiet, studious girl who always sat up front scribbling neat notes.
The girl visibly shrank under the gaze, but Jane barrelled on: Youll end up a teacher in some run-down school. Or work in retail. Youre a mousey little thing who cant even look after herself, she shrugged scornfully. Youll marry a man who works on the shop floor, who comes home drunk and takes it out on you.
Her words dripped with scornnot just mockery, but pure glee at her own supposed uniqueness.
Before the stunned girl could reply, Jane moved on to the next: And youyoull end up in some stuffy office, counting your pennies, wishing for a decent dress. Youll never have what I have! One by one, she handed out these grim predictions, each more cutting than the last. Some were told theyd live in a dingy flatshare, others doomed to thankless housewiferyevery prophecy laced with a dig at looks, habits, or intelligence.
The girls darted glances, staring at the floor. Someone tried to laugh, pretending it was a joke. But the tension was thickJanes words stung, however much she tried to make it sound light.
She laughed at their fallen faces, thrilled with herself. Her laughter echoed around the room, the boys lingering by the door half joining ineither out of solidarity, or not wanting to be outsiders.
Jane soaked in their chuckles as validation. She felt invincible, as though she really could dictate the future, hand out fates as she saw fit.
For uni, Jane picked a place outside her regionmostly for the status. Better prospects, she reasoned. A big city is where you find eligible bachelors: sons of wealthy families, ambitious lads, hopeful entrepreneursall spinning in the same orbit, and joining this set became her main objective. Plus there was the flat from her grandmother, so she wouldnt have to bother with halls or a dodgy rental. That alone put her a cut above other girls.
At first, everything went exactly how shed imagined. She set up her place, made acquaintances, went to parties. She still attracted attention, flashing her smile, carefully presented, always comfortable in a crowd. Compliments floated her way and she was sure: its only a matter of time before someone genuine comes along.
But lectures started, and reality didnt shine as brightly. The coursework was tougher. Lectures needed concentration, seminars expected preparation, exams required real work. Jane was used to getting by on charm and the bare minimum; she struggled to adapt. She skipped lectures, delayed essays, banking on her personality and scraps of knowledge to see her through.
The first round of exams blew her cover. She failed nearly every subject. Where tutors had flattered her at first, now they were blunt: Shape up or ship out. Jane felt her once-solid confidence melt away for the first time.
She slowly realisedher cushy childhood was over. The world was far more complicated than shed believed. There were loads of attractive, ambitious girlsnext to them, she didnt look so dazzling. Lots of her classmates managed studies, jobs, and real plans for the future. She was still living yesterdays idea of who she was.
It stung, but didnt change her in the way youd expect. Instead of buckling down, Jane just shifted her goals. Finding a husbandquicklybecame her mission. While Ive still got my looks, shed tell herself, anxiously considering how long she could remain that Jane.
She went on more dates, agreed to evenings with older men, dolled herself up every time. Every chat now included heavy hints at wanting to settle down, how hard she was looking for the right man. The more desperate she sounded, the more men kept their distance.
There was one serious candidate, though.
He seemed perfect, at least to Jane. His name was Daniel. He came from a wealthy familyparents owned a chain of private clinics, Big House in a posh London borough, holidayed with the upper crust. He was their only son, educated at Oxford, now working in the family business. Not film-star handsomeaverage height, round-faced, always slightly slouchingbut Jane couldnt care less. Why settle for just looks if the rest is sorted? shed tell herself. With him, Ill have the lothouse, status, financial freedom. She started daydreaming about being lady of the manor, glitzy galas, weekends in Monaco.
Jane plotted carefully. First, shed appear wherever Daniel did: his regular café, his gym. Then, shed put her best foot forwardsparkling conversation, well-timed jokes, carefully chosen dresses. She rehearsed her moves, making sure to come across as both effortless and impressive.
Soon enough, they were spending time togetherwalks, dinners out, regular texts. Jane sensed he was interested. She didnt rush it, but hinted at wanting a futuretalking about values, dreams of family, the importance of finding your person.
But shed overlooked something: Daniels family cared a lot about background. The minute he mentioned her to his mother, she raised an eyebrow.
And who is this Jane? she asked. Whats her familys story?
Daniel shrugged: Shes a student. Her family are from up north. Just normal.
Normal? his mum sniffed. Family name, reputation, traditionits all important in our circles. Do you want people to say the clinic owners son married some nobody?
Daniel protested, But shes clever, shes lovely
There are lots of clever girls, his mother cut in. We need someone who fits our standing. Dont set yourself up for trouble.
Meanwhile, Jane was obliviousalready planning how to introduce Daniel to her parents, already imagining them flat-hunting together. But then he rang, asking to meet for a talk.
When they sat down at the café, Daniel looked tense. He took ages to get to the point.
My parentsthey dont approve. They say were from different worlds.
Jane felt herself tighten up, but forced a smile.
Surely it doesnt matter what they think? Were adults, arent we?
To them, it matters, Daniel sighed. Theyve already lined up someone more suitable. I did try to stand up for us, but… I cant go against them. Im really sorry.
After he left, Jane just sat there, staring at her empty coffee cup. She didnt cry; mostly, it was just dull irritation.
Why? I did everything right! she fumed. Why is he so tied to mummys opinion? If only Id managed to pull the classic baby trickhed never leave then!
But the worst was still to come. A few weeks later, Jane found out there were already unpleasant rumours about her circulating amongst the prospective partners. People were now saying she was just on the prowl for a rich husband and had used Daniel for his money. In those circles, gossip spread faster than wildfire.
When Jane turned up at parties, she started to notice the whispers, the side glances, the fake-smiling faces. A couple of men whod shown interest kept their distance. One even nodded at her from across a restaurant and slipped out before she could say hello.
Jane tried to hide how much it hurt. But deep down, she knewher reputation was in tatters. Forget marrying up, at least in this set.
Going back home wasnt an optionthat would mean admitting shed failed. Over the years, shed spun her parents so many tales, she couldnt even begin to explain the real story. Every phone call, she kept up the charadeglowing about her studies at the top uni, the big job responsibilities, the eligible boyfriend.
Her parents drank it all in, bursting with pride, even retelling her dreams as their own. Jane pictured their beaming faces and kept up the act as much for them as herself. She wasnt ready to see their disappointment or face questions she couldnt answer.
The only one who knew the truth was Sarah. Shed found out by accident, popping round unannounced.
You should come home. Theres nothing here for you, Sarah had said seriously. Just tell mum and dad you lied about everything.
Jane shot upright, wiped her tears, and stated, Admit I lied? Never! Ill fight to the end and sort my life out, youll see!
She genuinely believed it, tooconvinced that all it would take was wanting it hard enough. She kept dating, networking, trying to squeeze into the right social circles. But as time ticked on, the rich husband never appeared. Those who started out interested faded away, put off by her high expectations and refusal to compromise.
Meanwhile, her grannys inheritancethe money as well as the flatwas dwindling. Jane tried to cut back. Then more: she stopped eating out, slashed her clothing budget, cancelled the gym. But the bills kept racking up: utilities, rent, groceries. She couldnt brush them aside any longer.
One drizzly morning, Jane counted her coins, realising this was crunch timeshe had to get a job. She browsed adverts, searching for something grand enough for her self-image. But with no degree and zero real experience, every decent employer turned her down.
So the former queen bee ended up behind a till at the local supermarket. At first it was agony. Standing at the checkout, she felt the stares, heard customers mutter she looked far too posh for this job. Shed force a smile, scan their shopping, feign politeness, reminding herself it was all just temporary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
And yesterday, I got my invite to the reunion! Jane finished her story, gloomily. I cant skip it, you know! If I do, everyone will just assume my lifes gone off the rails.
Sarah set down her teaspoon and fixed Jane with a long, considered look. She didnt rush to respond.
Have you thought maybe they already know what your lifes really like? she said gently. And they just want a good laugh at your expense? Remember how you were at promwell, not everyones forgotten.
Jane jerked her head up, her cheeks instantly reddening.
Nonsense! she scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. I hide things well! No one knows for certain. I just have to show up and remind them whos in charge!
Sarah leaned back, tapping her mug thoughtfully. Why invite someone whod always lorded it over the others, someone who loved to humiliate people? Hardly like anyone was desperate to catch up with the girl whod dished out those stinging predictions.
But she said nothing. Sarah had learnt not to push; Jane would end up learning her lesson, one way or another.
Alright then, Sarah nodded, keeping her voice steady. If you want to go, go. But make sure youre ready for what might happen.
What could possibly happen? Jane frowned. Ill be fine. Ill prep, pick the best dress, get my hair done No one will suspect a thing!
Fine. If you need help with your look or hair, just ask. Ill help.
Janes whole body relaxed. That was all shed been after.
Thank you, she breathed. Ill really need your opinion. I want to look perfect. I just dont want anyone to guess that my life isnt as it seems.
**********************
Jane bolted from the restaurant, wiping away mascara with the back of her hand. The cold night air hit her burning cheeks, but she didnt notice; her legs just carried her away from that building, where only half an hour before shed tried so hard to come across as someone she wasnt. Turns out Sarah was right! thudded in her skull. Shouldve stayed home!
And in the beginning, it actually went brilliantly. The moment she stepped into the function room, everyone noticed. Jane had rehearsed every detail: calm strides, easy smiles, a glance at her watcheverything crafted to say: Im busy, but I made time for you.
She quickly gravitated to a safe little grouppeople whod never really known her at school. Then came the show: husband away on business in Dubai, massive detached house with year-round rose gardens, glamorous holidays, endless perks. Jane grew carried away with her web of lies, not noticing the glances between her listeners, the half-hidden smirks, the sideways looks from her old classmates.
She was on top of the worlduntil someone cleared their throat.
You know, I saw Jane not long ago… piped up a bloke she hardly remembered, surprisingly loudly. Her real lifes nothing like the one shes just described.
The room stilled. All eyes turned to her. Jane tried to force a grin, but her lips wouldnt move.
Thats right, another old classmate chipped in, pulling out her phone. Ive got pictures, in fact. Bumped into her just last month.
Game over. On the big screen, someone had hooked up their phone, now photo after photo appearedeach slice of the real Jane.
There she was behind her checkout at the supermarket, giving a strained smile to a grumbling shopper, kitted out in uniform, with a name badge. There she was, bent over bargain food shelves, clearly counting pennies for the week. Another showed her getting on a bus, hugging a bag of groceries. Worst of all, heavy shopping in hand, trudging into the peeling door of her block of flats.
Someone snorted. Then another. Soon the laughter swelled, from stifled giggles to outright cackles. Someone called out, Oh, but she said she lives in a mansion! Another, And her businessman husband, is he on tills as well?
Jane stood frozen, cheeks burning, legs shaky. There was nothing all that terrible in those picsloads of people live this way. But shed just spent the evening boasting of luxury, so wrapped up in her story that she believed it herself. The photos simply shattered her phantom world.
Before anyone could ask a question, Jane spun round and darted for the exit. She didnt hear what people yelled after her, didnt see who tried to stop her. Just the cold air, and her own tears, as she stumbled to the nearest bench, trying to catch her breath and figure out what on earth to do next.
She didnt even notice the man until she smacked right into his shoulder. Off-balance, she nearly toppled.
Are you alright? came a gentle, genuinely worried voice. It was so warm, Jane stopped still for a moment.
She looked up into a strangers faceaverage bloke, nothing flashy, wearing a plain jacket, a shopping bag swinging at his side. But there was so much kindness in his expression, the last of Janes resolve crumbled.
No she whispered, the tears coming again. My fiancé dumped me right before the wedding
Some people just never learn, eh?
