I never truly loved my wife, no matter how many times I told her so. Not that it was her fault we had a perfectly pleasant life together. She never nagged, never shouted; she was gentle and delightfully kind. The only snag in our marriage was that love, well… love was nowhere to be found amidst the pots and pans.
Every night, Id go to bed and every morning Id wake up with the very same thought: I should finally leave her. Find the woman I could genuinely love.
But would I ever manage it? Truth be told, I was rather comfortable alongside Emily. Not only was she queen of the household, but she was also breathtakingly beautiful. Even now, my mates look at me with utter bewilderment, eternally mystified by my great good luck. Honestly, Im stumped myself as to what made Emily fall for someone as unremarkable as me.
Im just a regular chap, nothing special, not even a hint of pizazz to my name. But she adored me… can you imagine? Peculiar sort of woman, really.
Her unwavering devotion kept me up at night. That, and her beauty. I knew full well: the instant I stepped over the threshold for good, snapped all ties with her, some new contender would swoop in for her affections. You can bet hed be richer, more handsome, and infinitely more successful than yours truly.
The very thought of someone else wrapping their arms around her made me nearly lose my marbles. Emily was mine, even if I never felt much if anything for her. I only married her, if Im honest, for the sheer thrill of walking around with such a stunner on my arm.
But surely, one cant spend their whole life with someone unloved? I thought I could manage, but clearly, I was wrong. The kitchen and dining room saw the brunt of my self-delusion.
Right, tomorrow Ill tell her, I resolved late one night, finally drifting off.
In the morning, buttering my toast, I plucked up the courage for the big talk.
Emily, sit down for a moment. Theres something I need to tell you.
Im listening, darling.
Imagine this: you and I split up, go our separate ways in town.
Emily snorted with laughter.
Well thats ridiculous! Some sort of game, is it?
Hear me out this is important for both of us.
All right, fine. Im picturing it. Go on.
Be honest, if I left the family, youd find someone new, wouldnt you?
James, whats gotten into you? Why on earth would you leave?
Because I dont love you and never have.
What? Is this some sort of joke? I dont understand…
I want to leave you, but I just cant bear the thought of you being with another man.
Emily went quiet for a few minutes, thinking things over. At last, she said:
Theres definitely no one out there better suited to me than you so off you go, and dont worry, Ill never be with anyone but you.
Promise?
Of course, she replied cheerfully. Handbags and such.
But wait, where exactly am I supposed to go?
You mean youve nowhere to go?
No, weve always been together. Looks like well just have to muddle along to the end, then, I said, not without a trace of gloom.
Oh, dont worry. Once the divorce is through, well simply sell the flat and split it so we each get a one-bed. Easy.
Really? Blimey, didnt expect you to help me like that! Why are you doing it?
Because I love you, James. And when you truly love someone, you cant keep them by force.
A few months later, the divorce finally went through. Just a few weeks after, word got round that Emily had broken her promise and found herself a new man. As for the flat her gran left her she never had any intention of splitting it. Some inheritance, that was.
So there I was, left with nothing but the echo of my own loneliness. Hows anyone meant to trust women after that? I really havent a clue…
What do you think about James?
This story is based on a true account sent in by one of our readers. Any resemblance to real names or places is purely coincidental. All photos are purely illustrative.
