There’s No Hope Left
I dont want your money! I shouted, tossing the crumpled notes onto the floor in frustration.
Theyre your money, actually, replied the landlady calmly. And this isnt my fault. Please dont make a sceneyoull wake the neighbours.
I shot her a glare as she stood in the doorway. Without another word, I spun on my heel and stormed to the stairs.
When I finally stepped outside, the world spun and I barely made it to a nearby bench. I sat, buried my face in my hands, and wept quietly. The guilt gnawed at me: If only Id known how this would end, Id never have gone to that blasted wedding!
*****
A month ago, my old friend Emma rang me out of the blue. Molly, Im getting married! The weddings in a month, and then therell be a blessing service at the church too. Will you come?
Im truly happy for you, Emma, really I sighed heavily.
Well, what is it? Spit it out!
Id love to come, I honestly would but
But what? She sounded genuinely surprised. Weve been friends since primary schoolweve seen each other through thick and thin. And youre not coming to my wedding? Are you actually trying to hurt me?
Thats not it at all! Its justa wedding and a blessing, its not just one day, is it?
No, its three days. But Im sure you could get the time off, easy.
Its not work thats the problem, Em. Its my cat, PercyI dont have anyone to leave him with. And I cant take him with meyou know how it is
Come on, Molly, you can ask someone to look after him, cant you? Or put him in a cattery for a few days. Ill help if need be.
I just dont know, Emma
Well, youve got a whole month to figure it out. Please, dont let me down. I really want you there on my big day.
After our call I sat thinking. I hated disappointing Emma, but I didnt know what to do with Percy. I couldnt just leave him alone, even with plenty of food and water. Hes far too sociablea couple of days isolation would break his heart.
After much deliberation, I decided Id go to the wedding and leave Percy with someone trustworthy. I found Mrs. Elizabeth James onlineshed been running a cattery out of her home for years. Her reviews looked great, and she used to work at the local vet, so shed know what to do in an emergency.
Her semi-detached house, on a quiet road in Oxford, had a whole sunlit sitting room converted into a cats paradise. Soft beds, climbing trees, plenty of spacePercy would even have other cat friends for company. Elizabeth herself seemed warm and gentle.
Percy, mate, Ill only be gone three days. Promise youll behave? I bent to fuss him one last time.
He gazed up at me, his huge green eyes saying everything. He wanted up in my arms again, but I had to hurry.
Dont worry, dear, Elizabeth smiled. Hell be just fine.
I hope so. Heres the moneytwo fifty-pound notes. If anything happens, call me straight away, yeah?
Of course.
*****
The three days sped by in a blur. Emma was radiant, her new husband kind and charming. I was relieved shed found someone steady. Every day, though, I thought of Percy and called Elizabeth.
Hiits Molly. Hows my Percy? Is he all right? Not causing too much trouble?
Hello, Molly. Hes eating well, using the litter traybehaving perfectly. Youre still back three days from now?
Yes, nothings changed. I honestly couldnt leave Percy longer than that. I miss him terribly.
When I got back to the city, I rang Elizabeth to say I was on my way. Her sigh down the phone gave me a funny feeling I couldnt shake.
Probably just nerves, I tried to reassure myself. She said Percys fine
But dread settled in my stomach.
Your cat ran out Elizabeth blurted as soon as she opened the door.
What?! How?
The neighbours were having noisy renovations upstairsit frightened all the cats. I thought about banging on the pipes, but that would only have made things worse. So I went up to ask them to hold off for a few days. The moment I opened the front door, Percy darted past me and into the stairwell. I didnt have a chance.
Why didnt you ring me? Why lie to me? I shouted.
I hoped I could find him myself. These things happen, what with so many cats and only me here. Usually I can coax them back, but not this time. I posted online, but so farnothing. Weve still got hope, thoughdont give up yet.
Dont give up? This is completely unacceptable. You promised me hed be safe!
If you want, you can have your money back.
I dont want your money! I snapped, tears burning my eyes as I hurled the notes on the floor.
Theyre your money, she responded steadily. And this isnt my fault. Please dont make a scenethe neighbours will complain.
I glared at her, then bolted out, stumbling down the stairs. Outside, the world blurred around me. I perched on a bench, refusing to accept what had happened. Why did I go to Emmas wedding? Why did I trust Percy to anyone else?
A memory flashed in my mindthe December evening I first found Percy. It was the 30th, just before the New Year holiday, and as I reached home after work, a ginger fluff-ball darted from the shadows and scampered up my jeans. I barely had a chance to react before he was in my hands.
Well, isnt this a turn-up? I chuckled then. What else could I do but take him home?
We spent the whole holiday togetherjust me and Percy. I realised soon enough how much I loved that little ginger rogue.
Molly, you need a boyfriend, not more stray cats! Mum had joked when I told her.
Well, the cat came first. Any chap will have to come second.
At work, I told my colleagues the story.
Dont you think cats pick their owners? I mused to the other girls. Always seems they wait for a freezing night or a rainstorm, then appear out of nowhere, looking up at you with those sad eyes. And thats ityou take them home and your life changes.
You ought to be writing novels, Molly! they giggled.
They were happy for me, even if they didnt quite get the cat obsession. Not yet. One day, they would.
With Percy around, the flat was suddenly a homecosy, warm, and full of life (and cat hair).
After work he waited for me by the door, headbutting my hand as soon as I arrived. He loved curling up in my lapor, best of all, snuggled under the duvet, purring at a volume to rival a lawnmower.
Now, there was no furry face to greet me. The silence rang in my ears. Percy was goneor at least, lost. I had no idea where. The not knowing was the very worst part.
But I couldnt just sit there. Right! I said, rising from the bench. Ill find him if its the last thing I do.
*****
Hello? Have you found him? I nearly shrieked when my phone rang one eveninga volunteer had joined the search for Percy.
Possibly! A ladys picked up a ginger cat that matches your description. Shes waiting for you tonight; Ill text you the address.
Thank youthank you so much!
I was deeply gratefultheres no way I could have managed alone. A month and a half had already passed since Percy vanished from Elizabeths. It was the longest, hardest time of my life. I haunted missing pet websites every night, but he was never among the photos.
The only pictures I had were from when he was still a kitten. He looked different nowno wonder people werent recognising him.
I dashed from the taxi, buzzed the flats intercom.
Who is it? came a womans voice.
Its Mollyabout the ginger cat. A volunteer gave me your number.
Come up.
But when I saw the cat, my heart sank. Ginger, yesand lovelybut not my Percy.
Ill keep him, then, the woman said, hugging the cat. But I know youll find yours. Dont lose hope.
For the first time, I left someones home feeling a twinge of envy. Over the next months, I kept searching. Each timehoping, prayingonly to find another cat, much like mine, but not mine.
Molly, darling, I know you loved him, Mum soothed over the phone. You could always get another ginger tomthere must be plenty needing a home. Or come down to the villageour neighbours cat just had kittens. I think theres even a ginger one.
Thanks, Mum. But it wouldnt be the same
After six months without so much as a sigh of Percy, I finally realised there was no hope left.
All I prayed for was that Percy was alivemaybe with another family, maybe wandering with other lost moggiesbut alive, somewhere.
*****
How to go on, I didnt know. The guilt ate at me. For a weddingjust a weddingId lost my cat. If only Id stayed at home, Percy would still be with me.
Now, I didnt know if he was dead or aliveonly that the uncertainty was unbearable.
On weekends I wandered the city aimlessly, peeking into gardens, calling his name near rubbish bins. I didnt really believe Id find him, but I kept looking anyway.
One afternoon, I found myself near the edge of town at the animal rescue. Perhaps Mums right, I mused. Should I get another cat?
But immediately, I shook the idea off. What if Percy comes back one day? I cant replace him. Hed think Id given up on him.
Just as I turned to go, a staff member spotted me at the gate.
Hello there! Thinking of adopting? Come in and meet our residentsno obligation whatsoever. You never know.
I wanted to say no, but couldnt refuse.
This is Simon, and over theres Jack. Arent they handsome? she smiled.
They certainly are.
To my surprise, being near all the animals eased something in my chest. Their gentle, hopeful gazes seemed to soothe my wounded heart.
And whos in that cage at the back? I asked, pointing to the last enclosure.
Oh, hes our hermit catdoesnt let anyone near him, poor thing. Six months ago, he came to us in a terrible state. We got him healthy, but hes still wild as ever. No luck rehoming him.
My heart squeezed.
Could Isee him?
Of course, come on.
As we approached, the ginger tom turned away, making it clear he had no time for visitors.
Thats himour hermit. Turns his back to everyone.
I barely heard her. My eyes were fixed on the cat. Was it?
Percy? I whispered, hardly daring to believe. Percy, is that you?
He glanced at me, with a look of utter confusion.
Nowas it just wishful thinking?
Percy! I cried, louder now. My darling, its you! Oh, please, come here. Do you remember me?
For another moment, he hesitatedthen, slowly, recognition lit in his eyes. It was my scent, my voice, my face. Did I really abandon him? But I was here, now
Percy seemed to weigh it upand then bolted out, straight into my arms. The shelter worker barely managed to open the gate in time.
We hugged, me sobbing and Percy purring like never before. All around us, the other animals watched, even the clouds and sun smiled down on us, or so it felt. Some moments simply demand a smile.
I promised the staff Id help their shelter however I could. After all, it was thanks to them I had Percy back.
*****
Percy purred so loudly on the drive home, he could have drowned out a tractor. Every so often hed meow, almost as if telling me his story: I was terrified that day, the noise, you goneI bolted to look for you, and next thing I knew, I got clipped by a car. Im so glad you found me again, Molly. You wont leave me, will you?
I stroked his head, meeting his gaze.
No, Percy. Never again.
Looking back, I realise now I learned one final, important lesson: No matter the reason, Ill never again let anything come between me and those I lovenot even the promise of a celebration. Some connections, once lost, are almost impossible to find again.
