Is this what youre after? She held out the letter.
Nicholas went pale.
Beth, you dont get the wrong idea Its just Tom This is
What am I not meant to think, Nicholas? That my husbands mother is alive and in prison? That you both think Im some naive little daisy?
What do you meana month? Beth, we agreed at least until autumn!
My youngests only just started nursery, and Ive found a job nearby…
Whats happened?
We pay on time, keep the noise down
Its not you, Beth hesitated. I just need to move back into my flat.
Why? Have you and your husband argued?
Please dont ask questions.
Exactly a month from today!
Ill redo the bill and return your deposit.
Sorry
Beth hung up and shivered. She couldnt wait for it all to be over
***
Beth couldnt take her eyes off the envelope lying on the kitchen table.
A plain envelope, the sort shed pulled from the postbox just five minutes earlier, along with the usual flyers and invoices.
Normally, Tom collected the post, but for some reason today, shed checked.
The stamp. The return address. HMP Brackley No. 6.
And the senders name: Lydia Sutton.
Beth had heard the name only a handful of times from Tomhis mothers, her mother-in-laws, whom Beth had never seen.
Shed never imagined the woman whod given birth to her husband was alive.
I havent got anyone, Beth, Tom had said on their third date, sat in a tired old café letting their coats dry after a downpour. My dad left before I was born, never even saw his face.
And Mum Mum passed when I was twenty. Heart failure. Ive just drifted along since. My own man, really.
All alone? Beth had almost burst into tears for him. No aunties or uncles?
Some distant relatives somewhere up in Cumbria, but we dont talk.
Its easier this way. No drama, no mandatory Sunday roasts at yours or mine. Just you and me.
Shed thought then,
Hes so strong. Hes endured so much and hasnt let it turn him bitter
She poured him all the love and care she could, as if making up for what his mother hadnt given.
Then came the wedding, simple and just family.
Her side: parents, a couple of friends. His: only his childhood mate, Nicholas, who was oddly quiet and barely looked at Beth all evening.
Shed put it down to shyness at first, but now she understood: Nicholas had simply been scared of letting something slip.
Where is she buried, anyway? Beth had asked, perhaps six months into their marriage. Maybe we could tidy up, pay some respects? She was your mum
Tom had stiffened, fiddling with his shirt collar.
Far, Beth. Out in the sticks. Old graveyard, almost derelict.
Ill go one day by myself. Dont worry about it. That place just feels wrong.
Lets think about the living, eh?
And shed believed him. Fool.
***
The front door opened and Beth jumped, quickly hiding the envelope in a drawer under a heap of Tesco coupons.
Hi, love! Toms voice rang warmly from the hall. Hows our little champ? Not causing chaos?
He came into the kitchen, moved to kiss her on the head, but Beth involuntarily pulled away.
Whats up? You look shatteredTommy not sleeping again?
Ill get changed and take him off your hands. You go and have a lie-down.
Ill sort dinner, dont worry.
Theres no need, Im not hungry. Tom, the post came today…
He froze for a split second, but Beth caught it.
Oh? What was in it? Bills again?
Bills. Junk. Just the usual.
He relaxed, sighing in relief.
Great! Ill wash my hands and go and see Tommymissed him all day.
Beth watched him go. The man she shared her home, her days, her life with, stood there and lied.
He lied so easily it made her feel sick.
Think of me as an orphan, hed said.
But a letter from HMP Brackley had arrived signed Lydia Sutton.
Why was she even in there? Had she hurt someone? Stolen? Swindled? And how long was left?
Beth had a vivid image of their bell ringing a year or two from now, and a hard-faced woman with a chin lift and a prison past standing on the step.
Saying:
Hello, son, hello, daughter-in-law. Wheres my grandson, then? Ill be living here now!
Beth wasnt worried about herselfshe feared for Thomas.
How can a child grow up alongside a grandmother whos served time?
How could you even let a criminal near your child?
Beth, cup of tea? Tom shouted from the living room. Theres an offer on nappies at MorrisonsI found the leaflet. We should pop in tomorrow.
She didnt reply. She was already in her banking app, checking her balance.
Thered be enough to last for a while. A flat in a different part of townthat was good.
The tenants would be out in a month. She just had to get through this month without giving herself away.
***
Tom headed off to work, but not before smothering Tommys chubby cheek with kisses, promising hed be home early.
Beth watched in disgust. How could he possibly lie like that? Was this something you could ever justify?
Once he left, she fished out the letter. Her hands itched to rip it open, but she was afraid.
What if reading it made it impossible to leave? What if the contents
No, she told herself firmly. It doesnt matter whats inside. He lied to me for nearly two years!
Just then, the doorbell rang. Beth jumped. Who could that be?
Her parents always warned ahead. Friends? She peeked through the spyholeNicholas was there.
He fidgeted nervously, glancing at the lift.
Beth opened the door.
Nicholas? Toms at work.
I know, Beth Nicholas hovered, hands jammed in his jacket pockets. I was passing by. Tom thought hed left the garage keys at home?
He said theyd be on the hall table.
Keys? She raised her eyebrows. There arent any keys on the hall table, or anywhere in the hall. Are you sure he left them here?
Well, thats what he said Listen, Beth, Tom also wanted me to check the post for a delivery. I lookednothing there. You you didnt pick up the post today, did you?
I did. Why?
Nicholas swallowed.
Just wondered. Theres a parcel, some spare partsTom asked if there was a delivery note.
Beth calmly returned to the kitchen, picked up the grey envelope, and returned to the hallway.
Is this what youre after? she offered him the letter.
Nicholas paled.
Beth, you dont get the wrong end of the stick Tom This
What am I not meant to realise, Nicholas? That my husbands mother is alive and sitting in prison? That the two of you think Im hopelessly naïve?
That Ive had a child with a man whose past is some locked-up secret?
Beth, he only wanted the best! Nicholas stammered, dropping his voice to a whisper. A proper life, without all of that.
His mother Shes a piece of work; Toms been through more than you could imagine.
He didnt mean any harmhe just shut her out so you wouldnt be scared.
Shut out? Beth laughed bitterly. Nicholas, how can anyone wipe their mother out of existence? And in such a shameful way.
He took away my choice! I deserved to know what I was walking into.
What family?! Nicholas waved his hand. Theres no family. Just her and her dodgy dealings.
Beth, hand over the letter, will you? You havent read it, have you? Ill give it to Tom, hell explain everything.
Go, Nicholas, Beth said quietly. And Im not giving you the letter. Its addressed to Tom Suttonhe can have it, from me, when he comes home.
She shut the door right in the face of a dumbfounded Nicholas.
***
The day drifted by in a fog. Beth fed Tommy, changed him, pushed his buggy round the block, but in her head she was miles away.
What should she pack first? Buggy, cot, paperwork. The furniture who cares about furniture.
Her own old flat had an ancient sofa and a wardrobe. That would do.
By six oclock, she was utterly calm.
She set the table, made dinner, put her son to bed. And waited for her husband.
Mmm, smells lovely! Tom made a big play of nothing being wrong as he came home. Look, I got something! A new mobile for Tommys cotplays lullabies.
Beth sat silent; the grey envelope lay before her. Tom peered into the kitchen and stopped the act.
Did Nick find it? he asked, voice hollow.
I found it. Nick came like you asked, tried to take it. But I didnt hand it over
Her husband dropped heavily onto the chair opposite.
Why, Tom? Why did you say she was dead?
Because shes been dead to me for twelve years now, he said, eyes brimming with tears. From when she first went inside. She got out, lasted six months, then went back.
Beth, you come from a decent familyyour dads an engineer, your mums a teacher. Youd never get her. Shes a professional con-woman. Always has been.
And that gave you the right to lie to me? For a whole year? Beth snapped, unable to hold herself together. Thats all the trust gone, Tom. Youve ruined everything with this!
I was scared to lose you! her husband flared up. Youd have left! Youd have said, Well, I dont want my kid growing up with a jailbirds blood.
I wanted Tommy to have a normal life. I thought better an orphan for a father than a crooks son.
And now hell have a father whos divorced, Beth said icily.
Tom stared.
What? What do you mean? Beth, because of the letter? Because I kept it secret?
Because I dont know you, Tom. If you can coldly invent your mothers death, what else might you have lied about?
What about your dad? Maybe hes not disappeared at all, maybe hes in the next cell over.
Beth, dont talk rubbish
Im not. Ive written to my tenants. Im moving back in a month. Filing for divorce tomorrow.
Tom begged. He knelt, pleaded with her to reconsider, insisted it was a lie for her own sake.
But Beth wasnt listening. Shed set her mind.
***
The tenants moved out; Beth and her son now live in her own place. The marriage ended, but Tom still hopes to win her back. He cant see what, exactly, he did wronghe was just trying to protect his family
He visits his son regularly, pays all the bills. But as for Bethshe wants nothing more to do with him. Shes not going back.
