An Expensive Pleasure
“Clara, again? How long can this go on? I’m working just to pay for your cat!”
The cat, who Clara was trying to wrestle into the carrier, managed to twist free, thudded onto the hallway floor, and then slunk into the corner, wailing with a deep, mournful sound. Judging by his behaviour, Balzacthe romantic name Clara had given him years agowas determined to make his life, worthless in Daniels opinion, as expensive as possible.
Balzac, or Baz as Clara affectionately called her furry companion, had been with her for almost ten years. She had no idea exactly how old he was. She picked him up from the street, not as a kitten, but already grown, though still young, as the vet at the local clinic had told Clara’s mum.
Her mother Natalie had rushed there with her, clutching the cat wrapped in an old baby blanket.
“Please help him!”
Where did you find this creature? The receptionist wrinkled her nose. He looks like a stray!
What does it matter where he’s from? Hes my cat. Look at himhes in pain! Or do you think my money’s worthless here, compared to those who bring in their Persian cats?
Natalie was so fiery in that moment that even the vet hesitated to argue. Quite right, too.
Natalie Jenkins was a uniquely stubborn woman. Well, life made her that way! Try raising a child without a dad or any support, looking after two elderly parents, and all on a nursery teachers wages. You grow a backbone fast!
Natalie could always stick up for herself, but she was kind. She loved kids, adored cats, and sometimes warmed to dogs, though shed been inexplicably scared of them since childhood.
She never let anyone walk over hernot the neighbours in the block, not pushy parents, not the odd stranger who thought this gentle, single woman was an easy target.
But Natalie did it all so gracefully. She didnt shout or curse; instead, she always managed to find the right argument that switched the whole conflict onto a completely different track. Where there should have been raised voices and rows, people instead found themselves off in a quiet corner, confiding all their problems to her. Strangers who moments ago had been agitated suddenly opened up to herthe person theyd been lashing out at. She just nodded, listened, and waited. Afterwards, shed get heartfelt thanks, apologies, and people quietly left her in peace.
She never knew exactly how she did it. Some sixth sense let her tune into where people really ached inside. Maybe this magic worked because Natalie was a genuinely good listenernot to be heard, but to hear.
Except, this gift didnt always extend to her closest ones. She could get through to strangers, but with loved ones, she struggled.
Her husband left her a week after their wedding. Her own mother used to joke, Blimey, he stuck around that long?
It stung, but she realised her mum had a point. You couldnt build a family with someone like her, all nerves and no backbone. When he left, hed told her, with a smirk, Youre as much a woman as I am a ballet dancer!
Natalie was upset, but when she found out a couple of months later that she was pregnant, she calmed. She was a woman, after all. However you cut it, only women have children.
Natalie had been looking forward to her daughters birth more than Christmas or her own birthday. Her life was quiet, almost colourless, with next to no celebrations. This was something special.
Her mum didnt share her excitement or desire to take responsibility for this child.
Why do you want this, Natalie? Its a burden! Youre young, pretty enough, youve got prospectseven if not the best ones. But if you keep this child, youll be living on pasta and porridge. Is that what you want for both of you? Children are an expensive luxury, Natalie! You dont see it now, but one day you will.
Mum, didnt we live like that anyway?
Exactly, love! And where did it get us?
Natalie thought about it. Shed always listened to her mum, but this time, something inside her rebelled against the seemingly obvious solution.
The thought of getting rid of her child was suffocating. She simply couldnt do it. It wasnt just about the growing life inside her, but the realisation that everyone had liedshe really could be a woman and a mother. She was defending not only her baby but herself and her own integrity.
Her gran put an end to all her doubts. She showed up out of the blue, adjusting her favourite Sunday scarf, and announced, Have the baby, Nat! Ill help.
But Gran, what about Grandad? He wont manage alone in the village.
Our Reg will be fine! If not, well bring him here. Job done!
A neat white bundle landed on the tableit was her grans best embroidered tea towel.
Recognise it? Go on, open it.
Natalie had never seen, nor held, so much money in her life.
Grandad sold the family housetheyre putting a road through the village. The lands worth a fortune now. Its all here. Youll be able to buy a small flat. The rest is up to you.
Gran, I cant
You can do anything, Natalie! Dont argue. Not for yourself, then do it for the child. Who else will look after it if not its mum?
This bundle was the last straw between Natalie and her mother.
Oh, thats how it is? When I asked you for money, Mum, you said, No! Now lookGran turns up with it all on a silver plate. Well then. What else can I say?!
Gran shooed Natalie from the room and had a long, private word with her daughter. It didnt change much. Natalies mother still couldnt accept why, with all her odd ways, Natalie ended up with help, support, and, above all, her own flat. Better than winning the lottery! At least, thats what Gran said. If you cant manage, both are at fault. You cant have one horse pulling the load and the other sitting in the cart.
Gran found a wonderful flata four-bedroom, old and needing a fair bit of work, but perfect in all the things that mattered. She managed to badger the estate agent into a good discount. What are you looking at me like that for, love? Ive haggled on markets for years! Its not just about growing potatoes, its about selling them rightthats the tricky bit, trust me.
A team of cheerful lads, led by a rather stern foreman and Grans sharp eye, had the place presentable in no time. When Natalie tiptoed into the room with the new cot, she burst into tears.
Why are you crying, silly? You ought to be happy! Gran wiped her nose decisively. Come on, lets get to grips with the new kitchen!
Clara was born early. Natalie worried, but all was fine. The girl grew up strong, healthy, and unexpectedly gentle. That last bit wasnt so odd, given how Natalie, stung by her own mothers withering ways, had resolved never to do the same to her child.
Grans your favourite now! Of course she isshe bought the flat and dotes on the baby! What about me? You dont even let me spend time with my granddaughter!
Mum, youre always welcome. Please, just dont start an argument. Clara gets frightened.
Frightened! The worlds upside down for her! Shes just a baby. Whats she got to be scared of? Me speaking loudly?
Mum, youre not just loud you shout Natalie was nearly in tears.
Her most beloved person just didnt want to hear.
Well see how you cope when your own daughter talks back to you!
She wont! Natalies tears seemed to vanish.
Oh, she will! Its all about upbringing! I spoiled you, and nowlook where it got me! You just sit there, bossy as you please, couldnt care less if your own mother exists.
Thank you, Mum. Natalies voice turned calm.
What for? Her mother was thrown by the sudden change.
For the lesson. Now I know exactly what not to do. Thanks for saving me from making the same mistake.
Dont talk such nonsense! Her mothers patience snapped, but Natalie wasnt listening now.
One thought pounded in her mind: Im going to be a different mum!
Easy to say, harder to do.
Natalie was never sure she was doing things right with Clara. Her daughter wasnt spoiled, but she had a will of her ownand wasnt shy to make her opinions known.
Mum, can I have a sweet?
After dinner, Clara.
Not even just one?
No.
All right, Mummy! But after dinner, can I have two if I eat up properly?
Natalie laughed at her cunning little girl and, after she finished her food, always let her have two sweets.
Well done!
These small things shaped Claras character. She quickly understood that tantrums werent going to help. Even her rambunctious gran could be pacified by Claras innocent eyes.
Gran, please dont be grumpy! Its not pretty, and you are! No wrinkles, okay? Come here!
What for? But her Gran always softened.
Clara would sit her down, climb on her lap, and smooth her forehead and corners of her eyes with her little finger.
There! See, all better, nice and smooth! Youre beautiful again!
Natalie chuckled, watching her mother melt, and wisely kept quiet.
Gradually, family life settled down.
Natalie worked, while Gran and Grandadwho eventually sold up in the countryside and moved inlooked after Clara.
Things got difficult when Gran fell ill. Doctors were pessimistic, but Natalie didnt need predictions. She already knew.
Gran, should we get you to London for treatment, maybe?
No, darling. Ive lived my lifeIm not afraid to go, just scared to leave you and Grandad. He gets awfully sad, that one. Dont leave him alone!
Dont say things like that, Gran!
I know, love. Dont take any notice.
It was during this time Clara brought home the cat.
The day Baz arrived, Natalie almost lost her daughter. Clara left school, veered onto her usual path home, and vanished.
Grandad, rushing to meet her, must have missed her by minutes.
Where could a child disappear on a two hundred metre path straight home? It was a mystery.
The whole community searchedschool friends, their parents, older kids, Natalie whod dashed out of work, Grandad, even Gran.
But Clara found herself.
She came home at the very moment Natalie was about to call the police, her face red and streaked with tears, twisted in pain and pity. Natalie didnt say a word. She scooped up the barely breathing cat in Claras baby blanket, and only asked:
Are you all right, sweetheart? Are you hurt?
No, Mum! Hes the one in pain! Not me!
And Natalie ran.
The surgery wasnt far, but even that short dash was enough for Natalie to realisethe cat was theirs for keeps. Clara had rescued him and had no intention of giving him away. That meant Natalie had to step up for this battered creature.
Turned out, things werent so dire. The builders fixing pipes in the schools basement had scared off the dogs that attacked him before it went too far. The cat was battered, bitten and exhausted, but alive. The vets stitched him up and handed over the purring bundle.
Here you are. And get his jabs done when hes recovered! You say hes a house-cat, but he looks like a rough sleeper. No papers, nothing.
Natalie nodded and gaped at the bill.
Blimey, I could get a couple of pedigrees for this, she muttered, but she paid up.
At home, Natalie emptied her purse and pondered her finances.
Not enough to get to month-end. More medicine needed for both cat and Gran, and Claras birthday coming upno way would Natalie skimp on that after her own childhood of meagre celebrations.
Mum, can I ask you something? Clara had crept into the kitchen, hugging her mother.
What is it, love?
No presents for me, all right? Can I just keep him? Hell be my present
Natalie squeezed her tight and glanced at the little grey bundle curled at her feet. Shed tried to give him a box, but he stubbornly wriggled out and nestled beside her, pressing his nose into her slipper and purring against the old fridge.
No need to saythe cat stayed.
Strangely enough, this battered stray adapted to their cosy home with ease. He caused neither Natalie nor Clara a bit of bother, and became especially fond of the old folks. He didnt leave Grans side.
And somehow, he began changing the lives of the people whod taken him in.
Having paid for the cats treatment, Natalie realised shed had enough. She was sick of barely scraping by on her receptionists wage and two pensions. Shed never found the nerve to make the leap, afraid of losing what little she had. Now, with a cat at her feet, she quit.
It was scary, but she coped. She got a job as a nanny for a well-off family, thanks to a friends recommendationthen berated herself for not making the change earlier.
After that, Natalie never struggled for work again. She was passed from household to household, trusted completelyand was paid more handsomely each time as parents understood how precious a good nanny was.
Every evening, shed scratch the now-healed ears of Baz.
Thanks, Baz. If it werent for you
Baz purred and tapped Natalies hand with his paw, glancing towards Clara. He loved his senior mistress, but was Claras shadow. He spent every minute possible with herexcept when Gran called him away. Otherwise, he was at Claras side.
He sat with her while she did her homework, holding her exercise book with his paw and helping with sums.
He was there when Clara quietly wept outside Grans room as she said goodbye to the woman whod given her so much love.
He was there a few months later, when Grandad too slipped away peacefully in his sleep.
He remained through the changes, even as Natalie, after unexpected luck, met a good man and eventually married himso shed never again be told she wasnt enough. Her new husband adored Natalie, seeing all she herself had hidden away. Hed never let anyone hurt her, not even her mother-in-law, who actually ended up quite fond of him, especially when he handed her the family caralways with a driver included.
Now, Natalies mum could be seen striding out of her block with her planting trays, sighing for her neighbours, My son-in-laws here! Off to the allotment, lucky me!
By the time Clara was in college, she was independent. She got on with her stepdad, but chose to live in the flat where she grew up.
It was there she brought her boyfriend.
Whoa! Clara, this is like a mansion!
Oh, get off! Dont be daft.
So much space! And whats that?!
A hissing, spitting bundle rolled out of Claras bedroom, launching at Daniel, who leapt away in fright, trying to dodge the old cats attack.
Get him away! Clara, get him away!
Clara managed to calm her feline down, but things between Baz and Daniel were always tense.
Daniel loathed Claras cat and shooed him whenever possiblealways trying not to let Clara see.
A year passed and Clara married Daniel. They were husband and wife, but cracks appeared. Daniel started criticising her in ways that would have shocked Natalie. Her daughter now heard the same things Natalie once did.
What kind of woman are you, Clara? Is this meant to be stew? Its just red water! Dont you know how to cook? Some wife you make!
Gran herself had taught Clara to cookshed made her first stew aged ten, and she was definitely no slouch in the kitchen.
That left Daniel only the cat to complain about.
Whats wrong with him?! he bellowed, reading a vet bill. Clara, are you mad? I dont spend that much on my own health! Hes just a ball of fluff!
Hes not a ball of fluff, Daniel. Baz is family!
Family? Not mine! I want nothing to do with that furball.
What are you saying?
You heard me! If this happens again, Ill chuck him out myself!
Clara, whod only just found out she was expecting that morning, said nothing then, deciding shed reason with him later.
But Baz, now a very old cat, missed his litter box again that morning, so Clara started getting ready for another trip to the vet. Daniel walked in from his run and caught her.
Daniel took his health seriouslyate right, exercised, and always lectured Clara on the importance of simple things.
Hearing the cat needed more treatment, Daniel lost it. He threw his trainer against the wall. Enough! Time to get rid of that animal. Im not spending a fortune on a useless bit of fur! Out with it!
Only if I go too. For once, Clara, calm and patient, flared up in an instantwhether from nerves or pregnancy hormones, she couldnt tell.
Well, off you go then! Im fed up! Why should I put up with any of this?
Something shifted in the air. Clara, whod wanted a full home for her growing child just yesterday, suddenly knew this was not what she wanted anymore.
She didnt remind him whose flat it was. Itd be odd to throw her out of her own home, especially with its guardian.
Clara said nothing.
Quietly, she reached into Daniels jacket pocket, plucked out his keys, and squeezed them tightly. Then, using her own, she opened the door and turned to Daniel.
Im expecting a baby. I cant be stressed or upset, not now. Baz understands that. You dont. Please just leave. Go now. When you calm down, well talk. But as for living together sorry, Daniel, but Im done. If youre so quick to throw out a creature whos spent most of my life with me, if you can simply get rid of a sick cat just because he bothers youwhat happens to me when you get tired of me? My feelings dont matter to you, do they? Well, theres no more room for bad things here. Please leave. You can pick up your things later. I need to get Baz to the vet. Hes hurting. And thats all there is to it.
Daniel didnt argue. He angrily stuffed his driving licence and jacket into his gym bag and slammed the door.
Clara knew her news about the baby hadnt even registeredDaniels mind was entirely on that cat and getting rid of him.
So, she put the carrier on the floor, waited for Baz to climb inthis time without protestand asked softly,
Ready? Lets go. Time for a changestarting with your health.
The cat recovered. Of course, with his age, there would be more trips to the vet, and Clara would have to coax Baz into the carrier many times. Yet there would be one pair of tiny hands who Baz would allow to touch his tail, to stroke his enormous headthings no one else was ever permitted to do.
And Claras little daughter would have no better nanny than Baz, who could lull her to sleep in minutes, pressing his furry paw lightly against her giggling face. The little girl would so resemble Natalie that Clara would almost name her after her own mum, but Natalie would convince her otherwise.
Talk it over with Daniel. Shes your child together. You wont be together, but shell always be with you both. Youve done plenty to keep the peacenow its time to do more. Itll be tough, but for her sake, we have to try.
Clara would actually listen, bewildering her (now ex-) husband.
Funny. I never noticed such wisdom in you before.
Well, maybe I’m growing up. So, what do you think?
I think thank you! Really!
What for?
For not putting your pride before our childs happiness. Ill help, Clara.
And Daniel kept his word.
Little Alice grew up in two homes, never worrying about why adults worlds were so mixed up. She had two beds, two favourite stuffed bunnies, one at mums, one at dads. Two grandmothersNatalie and Daniels mum, Valeriewho both loved her to bits. But one love bound them all, and Alice basked in it, firmly believing that if people loved her and wanted her happiness, they couldnt be strangers to each other either. She worked this small but vital magic on all of them, just as Clara had when she was little, bringing everyone together and helping them forget past grudges.
Only the old cat knew the whole truth about the little girl. But he never breathed a word. Not because he couldnt speakbut because there simply was no need.
After all, everyone knowsa kind mother cat has kind kittens.
And for little Alice, that was absolutely true. One day, she herself would bring a new life into the world, lean over the cradle, trace a finger along her babys cheek just as her mother and grandmother had done, and whisper,
Hello, my darling. Ive been waiting for youYoure hereso loved, so wanted. Welcome home.
And perhaps, late at night, long after the lullabies faded, when the house was still and dreams danced lightly in the air, a soft, familiar purr would curl through the silencea sound both ancient and timelessblessing this new beginning the way it had once blessed every one before. In that peaceful hush, with heartbeats echoing the same steady promise, the long thread of love wound onwardunbroken, unyielding, and everlasting.
