**Diary Entry**
I was jolted awake by the doorbell. Beside me, my wife stirred. I brushed my hand over her shoulder.
Darling, go back to sleepIll get it, I murmured, shuffling to the door. Who on earth rings this late?
When I opened it, there stood Aunt Margaret, gripping a bulky suitcase, while Uncle Albert shifted awkwardly behind her.
My dear nephew! she boomed. Arent you thrilled to see me? Come, give your aunt a proper hug! She seized my arm like she meant to smother me.
So much for peace, I thought grimly, hauling her luggage down the hall.
The night dissolved into chaos. Aunt Margaret refused the sofa, declaring it unfit for sleeping. Then she suggested I tuck her in instead. My wife, Emily, looked stunned. Within an hour, the flat was turned upside down. Eventually, we all retiredAunt Margaret and Uncle Albert took the bed, while Emily and I squeezed onto the sofa.
How long dyou think theyll stay? Emily whispered the next morning, sliding breakfast toward me.
No idea. Ill ask after work.
She flinched at the snoring from the bedroom. Robert, they frighten me. Cant you come home early?
Ill try, I muttered before escaping.
When I returned, the table was set elaborately.
Come in, dearwere celebrating! Aunt Margaret bellowed from the kitchen.
Emily tugged my sleeve. Thank God youre back.
At dinner, I ventured, Auntie, how longs your visit?
Already eager to kick us out? She scowled at Uncle Albert. Were not welcome here.
Auntie, what? Stay as long as you like! I said, baffled.
Forever, then, she declared. Weve sold our flat. Youre our only family. You wouldnt toss your dear aunt into the streets, would you? Surely you can endure us? She dabbed a dramatic tear.
My jaw dropped. Emily burst into tears and fled. Silence thickened. Uncle Albert kept chewing his salad, unbothered.
Must you always eat? Aunt Margaret snapped at him. Cant you speak?
Quite agree, love, he mumbled.
Useless lump! she huffed. I make all the decisionshe just nods along. What sort of man is that? She turned to me. Happy, nephew?
Stay as long as you need! I said, just as Emilys sobs echoed from the hallway.
I pushed my plate around while the uncles chewing sounded like a jackhammer.
Finally, Aunt Margaret leaned back. Im stuffed. Robertonly joking! Were here for a hospital check-up, three days at most. You handled it well. Scared, but stoic. Family matters. She winked. When Im gone, youll inherit my flatweve no children. Youre our sole heir.
Relief flooded me. May you live a hundred years, Auntie!
Those three days, Emily wept constantlyAunt Margaret critiqued her soup, her tough chops, her laundry, even her mopping.
At their farewell, Aunt Margaret hissed, Whyd you marry such a crybaby? Is she pregnant?
The door clicked shut. Emily danced. Maybe theyll never come back!
Hard to say. Auntie seemed to enjoy herself.
I cant take it! she wailed.
Thenthe doorbell again.
Not *again* I bolted up. Oh. Just the alarm. I smiled. A lovely day awaited.
**Lesson:** Family visits test patiencebut dread is often worse than the reality.
