Infidelity isnt a reason for divorce, Mabel said, her voice steady as if the words were about anyone but herself.
What? Ivy nearly dropped her teacup. Infidelity isnt a reason? Are you out of your mind?
More than that, Mabel replied, calm, as though she were discussing a distant event.
He betrayed you!
Mabel smiled wearily and stirred her coffee. We betrayed each other long before that.
Ivy frowned, leaned closer.
Youre saying this now to look strong?
No, Mabel lifted her eyes. There was no anger, no tearsonly tiredness. Im simply tired of pretending we ever had a proper family.
A brief silence settled.
Wait, Ivy whispered, her tone softer. So you think an affair is just a trifle?
Of course not, Mabel waved a hand. But it isnt the point. The point is what came before, and what followed.
She pushed the cup aside as if clearing a barrier between them.
Shall I tell you? Just dont interrupt.
Go on, Ivy moved her chair nearer. Im listening.
Mabel exhaled.
You see, we were just a typical married couple. We met, married, had children, a mortgage on a terraced house in Birmingham, endless renovations the whole perpetual race and daily hustle.
One day I realised we still lived under the same roof, but not together any more.
She gave a short, colourless grin.
Andrew was always dissatisfied with everything. You know the sortpeople who never do anything outright wrong, yet everything about them feels cold. Even when theyre silent you feel guilty, as if youre unworthy.
Ivy nodded, the description striking a familiar chord.
He started staying late at the factory, sometimes until dawn, Mabel said, eyes drifting to the window. I asked nothing. I was an adult, after all. If a man wants to hide something, hell hide it. If he wants to leave, hell leave. And if he stays, it means hes content.
It wasnt me he was content with. I was alone, a superfluous presence that had long grown weary.
A shiver ran through Mabel, as if some old memory had pricked her from within.
And then, she paused a heartbeat. Then came that trip. You remember?
I do. You told me you felt suffocated in that flatits hateful silence, the relentless rebukes you needed a shakeup.
Yes, exactly. So I went.
The sea, the wind, the sunlike stepping onto another world.
There, for the first time in years, I found myself smiling for no reason at all, simply because a man sat beside me, listened, didnt press, didnt judge. He was ordinary, unremarkable, entirely unromantic, merely warm. That was enough.
Ivys brow furrowed.
But you knew it was?
Of course I knew, Mabel answered without embarrassment. At that moment I felt alive for the first time in ages, wanted, understood? The worst part wasnt the affair. It was that nobody at home even noticed Id come back a different person.
She tapped the table, producing a quiet rhythm.
Later Andrew stumbled upon our messages. Accidentally, he claimedthough how accidental can that be? she smiled crookedly. He always knew how to dig up what he wanted.
And then?
Shouts, accusations, a suitcase, a departure, a return, more shouts, more accusations. And the most disgusting line Ill never forget.
Mabel mimicked a flat, masculine tone: Im a man. I can do as I please. You I cant look at you and Ill never forgive you.
Ivy exhaled softly.
Terrible, isnt it?
Mabel shrugged. Im no saint either. We wore each other down until there was nothing left to sustain a life together. So infidelity isnt the cause, Ivy. Its a symptom, the last drop of a longfilled cup.
What happened after that? Ivy asked after a pause.
Eventually, when we realised we could barely occupy the same space even formally, he said hed file for divorce.
Did it scare you?
No. I felt nothing. I looked at him and understood it was simply the closing of a chapterlogical, inevitable.
The children, incidentally, accepted everything with mature composureno tantrums, no frantic swings.
So you let him go? Just like that?
Why cling to someone whos already left? He didnt just walk out of the house, Ivy; he walked out of us.
Ivy fell silent.
Mabel continued, The strange thing is, after he left the house felt light. Quiet. As if someone had lifted a tenyearold backpack from my shoulders. She smiled. Thats why I say an affair isnt a ground for divorce.
What then is? Ivy asked.
Mabel met her gaze straight on.
When you live with someone and feel lonely for years, when youre absent from his world, when home with him is worse than being alonethats the real reason.
She reclined in her chair.
An affair is merely a point someone else marks in place of you.
Ivy lunged forward, hand slapping the table. Mabel! Are you serious? I know dozens of people whove been through this. Some divorce after an affair, others forgive, but none ever justify the betrayal. Its nonsense, it hurts, it humiliates. How can you speak like that?
Mabel met the outburst calmly.
Im not defending anyone. I just stopped lying to myself. I claim that an affair isnt a stab in the back; its the final rung on a ladder people have climbed together day after day, hour after hour. Together. Understand?
Ivy fell silent as Mabel added softly, Often its the one who first loses hope who cheats. The one who kept pulling, endured, saved, and then finally broke.
So the traitor isnt always the one who steps out. Sometimes its the one who stayed but abandoned you long ago.
She leaned back, eyes distant, as if recalling a longago winter. Tell that to your friends. Perhaps then theyll see what truly happened to them.
