A terrible surprise came to light by pure chance. My four-year-old sister, Lucy, had developed an umbilical hernia. The doctors said not to delaythe sooner the operation, the better. Lucy refused point-blank to go to the hospital without Dad. We waited for him to return from his long-haul trucking job, and he walked her right up to the operating room.
“Daddy, will you wait for me here?” my little sister sobbed.
“Where would I go, love? Of course Ill wait. Why are you crying? Youre my brave girl, arent you?”
“Im not crying! Im just sighing hard!”
And they took her away. A simple, routine procedure. But the hospital insisted Mum and Dad donate bloodit was mandatory.
“Only one of us should match, right?” Dad asked. “Maybe you should test first so we dont give extra?”
“Theres no such thing as extra blood!” the doctor said firmly.
Mum and Dad donated. Mum turned pale, looking like she might faint any second. Afterwards, she couldnt sit stillkept darting into the treatment room, chatting with the nurse. When Lucy was finally wheeled out, Dad went to meet her, just as hed promised. He stayed with her the whole weekend. Mum seemed to calm down, checked on Lucy, then took me home, though I protested.
“I can stay with her too,” I insisted stubbornly.
I was eleven by then. Lucy, my little blonde-haired sister, was the person I loved most in the worldmaybe even more than Mum and Dad. How could I not? She was an angel. A real-life, golden-haired angel.
Picture a small market town with its local hospital. New, fully equippedeven had a blood bank, fancy that. But a small town is still a small town. Three days passedLucy was home, Dad was packing for another trip. He went out to buy cigarettes for the road. But when he came back, he looked like a thundercloud.
“Daddy!” Lucy wailed from the nursery (she was still on bed rest). “Did you bring my favourite marshmallows?”
Dad left the shopping bag in the hallway. Told me to go to the nursery straight away. Then he took Mum by the elbow and steered her into the kitchen.
“John John, whats wrong?”
What followed was a conversation I only understood years later. Back then, Lucy and I were clueless. She was too young, and I obeyed Dad without question. Nursery it was. Lucy whimpered, demanding Daddy and her sweets, so I offered to read to her. Thank God, she agreed.
In the kitchen, John, his eyes wild, backed Jane against the wall. Nowhere left to retreat.
“Is it true? Lucy isnt mine?”
“WhathowJohn, are you out of your mind? How could you say that?”
“Ill tell you exactly how. Im A-positive. Youre O-positive. But her” he jerked his head toward the door, “shes B-negative. If theres a mistake, we can retest.”
Jane shoved him aside, walked to the table, and collapsed into a chair. Dropped her head into her hands and groaned.
“Bastards. I begged them! Whats wrong with them all? Jealous of us, John. We had everything. Such lovely children.”
“You begged them Right. Got it.”
He left the kitchen, leaving Jane in tears. Just one slip-up out of boredom with that engineer on his business trip. Dad was always away, always driving. In films, being a truckers wife looks romantic. In real life? Just cold and lonely. Jane told herself he probably wasnt faithful eitherout on the road all those days. She jumped up and ran after him, but he was already gone. A box of marshmallows sat alone on the table.
After his next trip, Dad had a serious talk with me. Asked if Id come live with him.
“Dad, what about Lucy? Mum? Cant you stay?”
It felt like a boulder had been dropped on me. Id watched videos about rockshow theyre made of layers. The weight on my shoulders was just as uneven. Fear of losing Dad. Fear of choosing. Either way, Id lose someone. Crunching the numbers, I chose to stay. Lucy + Mum outnumbered Dad. Though in value, just Lucy mightve tipped the scales.
Dad met with me often. Lucy, though? It was like hed forgotten her. I didnt understand, but I knewif he couldve explained, he wouldve. At first, Lucy moped and cried. It hurt to see. But slowly, she asked about Dad less and less. She withdrew, playing with her toys for hours. I didnt grasp why this punishment had fallen on her, but I could guess. As for Mum
Mum lost it. She started dragging junk home from the bins. First, harmless stuffmaybe useful. Then anything. She stopped caring about us entirely. Just sat there, whispering over her trash treasures. How a young, beautiful woman could turn into that in eighteen monthsI couldnt fathom. But I never told Dad. Our neighbour, Auntie Mary, kept an eye on us sometimes. With Dads child support, I scraped by on meals. But the smell soaking our flat? Kids at school laughed, though I avoided fights.
“Auntie Mary, can you teach me to iron?” I knocked on her door.
“Oliver, love, youd need to wash them first” she wrinkled her nose.
“Pointless. I tried. But Im seeing Dad tomorrow, and I cant look like this”
“Does he know” she gasped. “Hes got no idea about Jane?”
“I wont tell him. He left, so its not his business!”
She let me in, then sighed.
“Bring Lucy too. Ill clean you both up. Bring your clotheschange here. Whatever I can do”
So we did. At least I didnt reek like a tramp at school anymore. But kind Auntie Mary didnt stop there. She went to Dad and shamed him. He met me after school.
“Why didnt you say anything?”
“Would you have come back?”
“No. But you could live with me.”
“And Lucy?”
Dad stayed silent. I shook my head and walked home.
“Wait! Lucy could stay with Grandma.”
“Grandmas got a new husband. Shes not bothered with us.”
“Figures where you” Dad cut himself off.
He did try talking to his ex-mother-in-law.
“John, are you mad? Why would I want little kids? Im practically living my second youth!”
“But Lucys your granddaughter!”
“Pity.”
“What?!” Dad froze.
“Pity motherhoods obvious, but fatherhood isnt. If Id had a son, who knows if his kids would really be mine? Easy to deny. But Lucys definitely mine. Still, Ive my own life.”
“Right. Shouldve looked closer at you before marrying Jane.”
One morning, I woke up to find Mum gone. All her junk remainedshed only kept mine and Lucys room clearbut shed vanished. I cracked the window, letting icy air dilute the stench. Fed Lucy, nibbled something myself. Took her to Auntie Marys.
“Mums gone. Ive got school.”
“Gone? Its freezing! Whered she go?”
My reckless, broken mother ended her days at the far landfill. Why she froze instead of coming homeno one knew. Mary said social services would take us now. And they came. The woman glanced at our flat and turned to Mary.
“Could we sort the paperwork at yours?”
“Fine, come in,” Mary shrugged.
“Hold on.” Dads voice echoed up the stairs. “Sorryjust back from a run. These are my kids.”
“Flat yours too?” the social worker smirked.
Dad didnt even look inside. Just said,
“Pack your things. Were going home. Well sort this place out later.”
“What about Lucy?” I whispered, terrified.
“Obviously. Lucy, you too.”
My sister peeled herself off the wall and shuffled toward him.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, love?”
“Is it really you?”
He scooped her up, hugging her tight, and sighed deeply.
“Its me. Im here. Its alright.”
“Dont leave again, Daddy!” Lucy wailed.
I froze. Any second, shed spill everything, and that stern woman would take us, legal father or not. But shed already lost interest, gossiping with Mary. And Dad held Lucy, tears streaming down his face. Hed tried so hard to resent her too, to stay awaybut love won out. Love for us. His kids.
“I wont. Im not leaving you again.” He choked out the words.
