Socks
Oh, you darling! My sweet boy! Good heavens, why are little children so precious, really? Margaret was fussing and cooing over her grandson, her voice ringing with pride as she posed before the camera.
They celebrated little Williams half-year birthday in grand style. There were entertainers, balloons, and a splendid, towering cake. Grandmother and Granddad spared no effort. Anna, however, hadnt been so keen on the idea. It warmed her to see her parents eager to shower her and her baby with joy, but, just as in childhood, she quickly grew weary of the noisy revelry. It seemed William took after herwithin half an hour, he began wailing in distress, and Anna hurried him back into the house. After shutting the windows tight, she settled with her son in a cosy armchair, and, in a matter of minutes, William was already fast asleep.
Oh, bless you, love. Youve worn yourself out today. Too soon for all this fuss, isnt it?
Margaret made her way up to the nursery, carrying the present shed left on the hall table.
Is he asleep?
Hes exhausted. Mum, I told youhes too little for this much excitement.
Oh, nonsense. Best he gets used to it. Darling, its our good fortune to lavish celebration on our beloved grandson. We waited for him so long, after all! Look at this gift I bought! Isnt it simply darling?
The crinkle of the wrapping disturbed William, who wriggled fretfully.
Mum, lets leave it for later, shall we? Anna began to pace gently about the room, soothing her son.
Honestly! I chose it so carefully, spent ages mulling it over, and youre utterly uninterested, Margaret complained, setting the box down crossly.
Of course Im interested, Mum! Im sure its wonderful. Anna offered a placating smile. Could you fetch me a drink? Im parched.
Come down and fetch it. Just put the baby down.
Hell wake.
So what if he does? Well just carry on with the party.
Mum, if he wakes now, hell cry for ages. Not the best idea, surely?
Anna, children need discipline from the youngest age. If you start indulging every whimper, theyll never learn. Well-brought-up children dont scream.
Anna faltered, pausing mid-step, before continuing her gentle dance about the nursery. Every motion flowed smoothly into the next, so gracefully it might have been a ballet shed practised her whole life. Good children never do what their elders dislike. And a well-brought-up young lady must excel in all things. Shoulders back, chin up, first position! And no protestsever.
Im off to the guests. You settle him, then come downstairs. It hardly does for the hostess to vanish, you know.
Stand in for me, would you, Mum?
Margaret left, and Anna dropped again into the armchair, cradling her son. How far shed come for this little boy to be in her arms now!
Anna was born into as proper an English family as one might imagine. Her grandfather had been a prominent academic, her grandmother, a leading surgeon at one of Londons oldest hospitals. Her father, keen to follow tradition, became a doctor as well. Anna never quite understood how such a clever, self-assured man had become so pliant in her mothers hands. Margaret had never been taken with science; she barely completed her degree, then tucked away her diploma and dedicated herself to husband-hunting. More precisely, it was Grandma Lydia who sought a husband for her daughter. Lydia excelled at the task. The parents introduction took place at an anniversary celebration, and from there things unfolded smoothly. Pretty, sociable Margaret quickly ensnared Andrew, and after a grand wedding the young couple moved into a cooperative flat purchased by their parents. Anna was born two years later and immediately claimed by her grandmother. Lydia took charge of the nanny and personally chose the classes suitable for a young lady: two languages, ballet school, a private music tutor.
A child must be perfect in all things!
Annas weekends were filled with museums and theatres, always under her grandmothers watchful gaze. She rarely saw her parentsher father worked late, and her mother only lingered long enough to shower her with kisses before flitting off to another soirée.
Lydias meticulousness bore fruit: Anna was accepted into a prestigious dance academy, and later joined a well-known theatre. Her career was blossoming when she met her future husband. Robert was unliked by everyone but her father.
Heavens, what a mismatch! Lydia would declare, clutching her temples. Think, darling! What do you want with that ruffian? The man can barely string two words together!
Grandma, I doubt anyone could keep up with your intellect, Anna replied, legs neatly tucked under her in an armchairordinarily an offence, but Lydia was far too distraught to scold. I only mean that few could hold a candle to you. But, to be clear, I dont simply like Robert. I love him. And surely youll agree love is what gives art its soul?
Art, fiddlesticks! What about lifehow do you mean to live with him?
For a very long time, and, if possible, happily.
Anna fought for her choice then. Not without struggle, nor without relentless appeals and reproach. But when she looked into Roberts eyes, she was firmshe said yes, and quashed all further objections. To Robert, Anna was a vision come to life: delicate, gentle, heartbreakingly vulnerablebut, beneath it, a steel resolve. He longed to envelop her, shield her from the world.
I havent much to give you yet. But Ill do everything in my power to make you happy. What I do have is love.
That was more than enough. Anna suddenly realised there was someone who needed her just as she wasno more measuring up, no impossible expectations.
Their life together was far from simple. Robert had no benefactors, no wealthy connections. His father died young, and his mother, Olivia, a lifelong primary school teacher, raised him alone. Her unwavering faith saw him through the best universities in London, after which he established a company that, in just a few years, was turning a profitand within a decade, it was an industry leader. Even the unyielding Lydia came to respect Roberts acumen, her resistance waning completely only after the birth of a great-grandson.
Anna longed for a child desperately. Great women might not take time out for childrenbut Anna never aspired to greatness. She simply wanted happiness, ordinary and real. Fate, it seemed, chose otherwise. Years of check-ups, two operations, and still nothing. She wept at night, hiding tears from Robert, not wishing to burden him. She believed he deserved to be a father and told him as much. Robert only laughed.
Oh, Anna, you daft woman! Why on earth would you think my love depends on children? You are my life. Cant you see that yet?
Anna cried then, a flurry of relief and helplessness.
Accepting that motherhood was out of reach was simple enoughembracing it was another matter altogether. She tried to settle, to let go, but it was agony. Her mother would stoke her doubts, sashaying about that everyone else was already a grandmother but she herself was still unencumbered. Friends sent endless invites to childrens parties, and Anna would painstakingly select gifts, doing her best to enjoy their little ones. But gradually, the ache dulled. Anna stopped watching children at playgrounds, and, after some reflection, opened a ballet school.
“I need to do something, or I’ll go mad!”
Robert didnt quite grasp his wifes motives until Olivia stepped in.
Rob, do you have any idea how hard this is for her? No, I dont reckon you do. She loves you. For a woman who loves, giving her husband a child is the highest joy. Shell need all your support. Let her try whatever soothes her heart.
I see, Mum.
He found the perfect space. Anna clapped gleefully at the light, spacious studio.
“Just what I needed! Well done, love!”
The equipment, the first classes, the bustle of new studentsall of it swept her away. She missed the first signs, dismissing them as simple fatigue. Interruptions were nothing new. Olivia, ever attentive, asked quietly over tea one afternoon, Anna, forgive me if Im prying, but… are you expecting?
Anna stiffened, her eyes flashing. This wound was all too raw. Olivia offered water and reassurance as Anna wilted against the cafés banquette, nausea sweeping over any appetite she might have had. Then Olivia pressed a little box into her hand.
No need to guess, is there?
Moments later, the paircrying and laughingdanced an impromptu jig, so full of joy the café staff and guests couldnt help but smile, knowing something wonderful had happened.
William was born strong and healthy, not the least bit shy of giving the midwives a hard time.
A ballet dancer, is she? the attending doctor asked, eyeing the weary Anna.
Thats right, she smiled.
Cracking boy youve got.
Surprised?
A bit! Usually, we have a rougher go, but just look at this grand little chap. Well done, Mum!
Waking in the mornings with her baby beside her, Anna felt a happiness so consuming it scared her.
Dont be silly, darling. Youre not alonethere are two of us now, Robert murmured, gazing at their newborn, tucked in fine lace gifted by Margaret.
There was, however, the horror that was coming home from hospitalMargarets doing, of course. Robert tried to resist but lost: there were photographers, relatives, ringing bells, congratulations shouted over one another, and at home, a banquet table laid for a crowd.
Anna, aching and weary, wanted nothing more than a warm shower and a quiet bed.
Mum, why all this?
But darling! Things must be done properly! This is a celebration! I am so happy!
Anna realised that argument was hopeless. Hardly able to climb the steps, she paled on seeing how many had gathered. Not everyone had even come to the hospital.
“Dearest, they’re our nearest and dearest!”
Anna caught Olivias sympathetic eye in the hall. Standing became nearly impossible as more guests filed in with their congratulations.
If you dont mind, may I steal away the baby and his lovely mother for a little while? Olivia gently swooped in, taking Annas arm. We need a word, you and I.
She nodded to Robert and guided Anna upstairs to the bedroom.
Lie down, Olivia soothed. Ill fetch whatever you need, and you can shower in peace. Hungry?
Anna nodded wearily, watching her husband cradle their child, but soon she stirred, troubled.
I should go back down.
Says who? Olivia frowned. Theyll manage just fine. Youve already done your bit.
Anna sighed in relief, the drowsiness finally washing over her until she drifted off, watching Olivia busily move about.
You need rest? Here, blanket on your feet. Olivia tucked Anna in. Sleep! Ill mind William.
Anna was nearly asleep as she whispered, Little Will… and she missed the warm, gentle smile Olivia gave. William had been Roberts fathers name.
Margaret, arriving upstairs some minutes later, was not at all pleased to find Anna asleep when there were still guests to receive.
And what do you call this?
Its called a new mother whos breastfeeding. Rest is what she needs, if youd like your grandson to keep his milk. Olivia did not move from the doorway.
Margaret started to argue but Olivia steered her away, suggesting they toast their new grandmotherly roles together.
Robert closed the door behind them with a grateful look for his motherhis dealings with his mother-in-law had long been fraught. Margaret took full advantage of what her son-in-law could provide, but never considered his opinion in any matter. Easygoing though he was, Robert struggled with her interferencethough he had quickly bonded with Annas father. Andrew appreciated Roberts head for business, but found the matriarchal situation too complex to comment on.
You can’t change her, and the alternative seems too volatile to risk.
Anna woke an hour and a half later, disoriented, until Williams gentle stirring and the laughter downstairs brought her back. After nursing the baby, she waited for Robert to fetch her, then finally made it to the bathroom. Sitting by the window, eating a delicious soup Olivia had prepared, Anna confessed her fears about looking after a baby.
I received all sorts of advice at hospital, but really its a drop in the ocean. Im terrified! she confessed.
Eat. Dont fret! Children are made of sterner stuff than you think. And youll know better than anyone what Will needs. Never doubt that! I floundered at first, but managedmistakes and all. Trust yourself, Olivia replied warmly.
Time proved Olivia right. Anna quickly grew confident, though her fears never fully vanished. The first six months flew by. Olivia visited twice a week to help out, though she invariably ended up tidying the house and preparing meals. At first, Anna minded, but Olivia soothed her.
Anna, this time is so brief. Each glance, every new thingdont waste it. Savour it! I can still mop floors and put supper on.
Margaret visited less, but every visit was a grand show.
Anna, look at this pram I found! Simply marvellous!
Mum, we already have a wonderful pram.
Nonsense! This is unmatched! Bundle up William, were off to test it.
She refused for a long time to call her grandson William.
Where on earth did you find such a name? Couldnt you have picked anything else? William! Couldnt be plainer!
Mum! Its a regal name, you know. What’s the complaint?
Its not the sort of name thatll do him any favours in school!
Then we’ll go to an ordinary school! Surely you might agree that naming the child is up to the parents?
No. It was your grandmother who named you. Id have picked differently.
Well, lucky for me I chose for my son myself.
Margaret would huff, scoop up her grandson, and march off to parade him. A beautiful pram, a sleeping baby, and herselfa youthful, elegant woman drawing admiring remarks: What a darling child! And such a charming mother! She rather liked that people mistook her grandson for her own. She would smile, adjusting the babys blanket. Of course, in the village, everyone soon knew the truth. Margaret stopped her daily walks with Will, opting instead for a coffee visit and a quick peck before dashing off.
Ill be a grandmother for special occasions! she’d declare, bringing ever more dazzling toys for the nursery.
And so, the roles in the family settled and peace returned.
The party Margaret held for Williams half-year nearly sparked a row.
Anna smiled at her waking son, reaching for the box Margaret had brought. A lovely silver rattle drew an exclamation from Anna.
Look, Williamhow beautiful!
The baby twisted the shiny toy in his hands, beaming his first little teeth.
And what did Granny Olivia get you? Anna opened the bag her mother-in-law left behind. A creamy white baby suit, hand-knitted by Olivia, so soft Anna pressed it to her cheek.
And socks! Just look! Granny is quite the needlewoman, love!
Margaret wandered in, sighing in awe.
Goodness! How exquisite! Designer?
No, Olivia made it herself.
Margaret turned the little jumper over.
Couldnt she have thought of something better for such a milestone? Some people are so tight-fistedhonestly, it boggles the mind!
Mum!
Well, am I wrong?
Anna burned with embarrassment, catching her mother-in-law in the doorway, who quietly set down a glass of cordial for Anna and slipped out. Anna was left unsettled as she soothed William. By the time she came downstairs, Olivia had already left.
Rob! That was so awkward! Im mortified!
But it wasnt you who said it; why should you feel guilty?
Because I should have put a stop to it. I didnt.
Dont fuss. Mums sensible. She understood.
Anna tried for months to mend things with Olivia, who would kindly brush aside the subject.
Dont fret, Anna. I took no offence.
Yet Anna couldnt shake the sense that something delicate had fractured. She was desperate for a way to fix it.
One day, alone save for William, Anna fell quite ill. Wincing through the pain, she tried ringing Robertbut his phone was off. Her father would be in surgery; she tried her mother, but Margaret was too busy, chirping about how marvellous the party had been, and cut Anna off with a Sorry, darling, someones on the other line!
The pain grew sharper. Anna frantically called for an ambulance, then rang Olivia.
Anna?
Please Annas vision swam, and she had just enough time to murmur Will before everything went dark.
Olivia had never run so fast. Grabbing her bag, out she rushed, slippers clacking as she flagged down a taxi.
You got a death wish? the driver yelled, braking just in time.
Please! My daughter-in-laws very ill. Fast!
Hop in!
Ive been at the wheel for thirty years, never an accident. Well make it! the driver called as he sped through the streets.
The ambulance and Olivia arrived nearly together at Annas, and she hurried the medics inside.
Well need to take you in.
Why? Where? Anna stammered.
Its all right, Anna. You must, Olivia soothed. Ill watch William, and Roberts on his way.
The operation went well, but Anna stayed in hospital for a fortnight at her fathers insistence.
This is no trifle, my dear! William needs you strong!
Back home at last, Anna hugged her son and rang her mother.
Mum!
Anna! How are you?
Not quite myself. Ill need your help.
How can I help? Margarets tone was oddly distant.
Could you stay for a while? I cant lift, and Ill need help with Will.
Of course! But, Anna, I didnt expect this at all. I have ticketsmy flights in two days. Its no refund, either. Oh, Id been dreaming of that holiday!
Anna closed her eyes, then quietly turned off her phone. Shed have to manage alone.
After feeding William, she lay down, her body aching. When would the pain end? The doctorsand her fatherkept assuring her she should be well by now, but the stitches still throbbed.
She awoke to the soft sounds of someone in her room.
Oh! Didnt mean to wake you! Olivia scooped up William and smiled. Hungry? I’ve made your favourite soup, and theres jelly and warm scones. I’ll settle Will with Rob and bring you everything. Ill stay for a couple of weeks, if you dont mind, until youre completely better.
Anna looked at her mother-in-law and burst into tears.
There, there, love! No more tears. Doctor says you need nothing but happy thoughts. Lets focus on that, shall we? Look what weve got to show you.
Olivia set William on the rug and, steadying him, let go. Annas tears evaporated as her little boy tottered towards her outstretched arms.
What do you sayhappy thoughts? Olivia laughed. Now come, you need your strengthfor once this young man starts running, youll need every bit youve got.Anna gathered William into her arms, kissing his downy head, overcome with joy so sharp it nearly ached. Olivia smoothed the blanket around the two of them and sat nearby, content to simply watch. Sunlight filtered through the curtains, pooling on the rug and catching on the silver rattle, which William gripped in a pudgy fist. It glimmered for a momentbright, precious, and real.
See? Olivia whispered, eyes warm. He walks already, straight to you.
Annas laughter mingled with Williams delighted babble, filling the quiet room with a gentle music. For the first time in ages, Anna felt neither judged nor measuredno expectations to meet, no standards to uphold. There was only love here: imperfect, homemade, firmly stitched together by the daily kindness that would outlast any showy celebration.
Margaret would call again, someday soon, no doubt with news of travels and fresh advice; Anna would listen, some words rolling away, others snagging as memories do. Yet now, swaying gently with William on her lap, Anna saw the futuresimple, honest, bright as sunlight and anchored by the small things people made with their own hands.
She glanced down at Williams woolly socks, Olivias stitches neat and patient. Love was in the quiet click of needles, in soup simmered just right, in the open door and the arms waiting for her.
William giggled and crawled back to Olivia, his sense of safety absolute. Anna watched him and smiledwide, unguarded. Here, in this patch of morning light, she understood: family didnt need perfection or applause. It needed soft hands, forgiveness, the patience to wait for first steps, and the courage to take your own.
Andshe realized, as Olivia caught William up and he reached for her againmaybe just a pair of woolly socks to keep you warm on the journey home.
