The Gaze of Green Eyes from the Past
James woke at dawn and thought to himself:
“Blimey, its been ages since I slept this welland where? In a haystack out in the field, no comforts, no warm blanket. Not that I needed onesummers warmth and the sweet, earthy scent of hay were enough.”
He sat up, brushing the hay aside. His mind was clear, unburdened by the recent split from his wife, no sadness lingering. Had he ever truly loved her? The question nagged at him.
“Ten years togetherwas it all just a pretence of marriage? We got on well enough, I suppose, but no children came of it. Emily had a daughter, thoughclaimed she didnt even know who the father was. Had the girl for herself, she said.”
Thered always been something forced in Emilys affection, their rows frequent. After each one, Jamess thoughts would drift to the soft green eyes and gentle smile of Nurse Maisie, whod tended to him in the hospital years agodressing wounds, administering injectionsback when hed been wounded during his service in the Falklands.
Sitting in the hay, James smiled at the memory of herher soothing voice, those emerald eyes, her thick chestnut hair. Hed never seen eyes like hers since. In his heart, he knew it was Maisie whod helped him endure the pain.
On the day he was discharged, hed picked a bouquet of wildflowers and gone to find her, determined to ask her to come home with him. He knew it wouldnt be simple, but he had to try.
“Maisies not here,” another nurse told him. “Shes been transferred to another field hospital.”
“Where?” James pressed.
“I dont knowand even if I did, you know we cant say. Not here.”
Devastated, James resolved to search for her. But how? He knew only her name and the colour of her eyes. In the end, he returned home, medically discharged. Life there was unchangedhis father still drank, his mother still worked and scolded.
Then one day, his old comrade Leo turned up. Theyd served together, seen hell side by side.
“Good to see you, mate,” Leo clapped him on the back. “Hows the recovery?”
“Not bad,” James shrugged.
“Come stay with me,” Leo urged. “This village is deadno work, no future. Unless theres someone keeping you here?” He winked.
“No one. Just cant forget Maisie.”
“Blimey, she really got under your skin. But dont give upkeep looking.”
James moved to Leos village. Time passed. He bought a small, rundown cottage, fixed it up, and made it home. Leo, meanwhile, fell in love with a woman named Beth and left for the nearest town.
“Sorry, matedragged you out here only to abandon you,” Leo said sheepishly.
“Dont fret,” James laughed. “Ive got prospects myselfasked Emily to marry me.”
Now, standing in the fields, James snapped back to the present. He could almost hear Emilys bitter words from yesterday:
“Youll never find another like meno one elsed put up with you for this long. I was the only one who could stand you. And anyway, theres a proper bloke who loves me nowIve been seeing him.”
Shed always called his quiet momentswhen memories of war weighed heavyhis “moping.” Shed poke and prod, desperate to snap him out of it, sparking rows. He never understood why it bothered her sohe never even shared what haunted him.
Yesterday, shed finally said what hed long suspected. He listened in silence, packed a bag, and walked out as her curses followed.
“Funny,” he mused. “Thought Id scream, accuse her. Instead, Im calm. Almost relieved.”
That evening, hed left the village, veered into a field, and burrowed into a haystack to sleep. Tomorrow, hed head to townLeo would help. A true friend.
“Finally,” James sighed. “No more pretending.”
For the first time in months, he felt lightlike a weight had lifted. Buried in hay, he thought:
“Tomorrows another day. For now, rest.”
He drifted off under the stars, the scent of hay lulling him into dreamless sleep. At dawn, Maisies green eyes flickered in his mindwhy now? Not that hed ever forgotten them.
“Right, time to move,” he told himself, shaking off the hay.
He reached town by midday, bought a bottle of wine and a box of chocolatesLeo never drank hard liquor, and Beth had a sweet tooth.
At their flat, Leo answered the door, adjusting his joggers mid-step.
“Bloody hell, James! Get in here!” He pulled him into a bear hug.
Peering past him, Leo frowned. “You alone?”
Jamess silence said enough.
“Never mindkitchens this way. Beth! Look whos here!”
Their seven-year-old, Alfie, barrelled into James, clinging to his leg.
“Nice to be wanted,” James thought wryly.
Over breakfast, he handed Leo the wine, Alfie a chocolate bar, and Beth the chocolatesonly then noticing her rounded belly.
“Wait, are you?”
“Due in December,” Beth grinned.
“Brilliant,” James said sincerely.
“About time, eh?” Leo chuckled. “Youre not getting any younger yourself.”
Beth shot Leo a look. “Right. Weve been meaning to tell you something.”
James frowned. “Whats up?”
Beth took a breath. “Maisies alive. Shes in a village up north. We didnt want to stir things while you were with Emily, but… shes been asking after you.”
Leo nodded. “Beth tracked her downsent letters everywhere. Maisie wrote back. Said she never found another man like you. Shes still waiting.”
James sat frozen, then drained his water glass.
On the train north, clutching Maisies letter, he watched the countryside blur past. She loved him. Had always loved him. Hed known it, deep down.
James was finally heading toward his happiness.
Sometimes, the past doesnt stay buriedand the heart knows when its found its true home.
