It was already evening. My son-in-law had just brought my mother-in-law home. He placed two of her bags gently in the hallway before heading off to see Emily. When she caught sight of her mother, Emilys disappointment was plain as day. So now I must look after you for the rest of my life? You wont want to return to your village later on, will you?
Not too long ago, Id heard the story of an old friend who bore a rather unkind attitude toward her own elderly mothers situation. Fortunately, things turned out well in the end: her mother-in-law was looked after by her son-in-law, who arranged for her to stay at a reputable care home, all paid for. Of course, Emily knew nothing of these arrangements at the time, and only found out after her mother was discharged from the clinic.
Emilys husband had taken his mother-in-law in, and told his wife, Your mothers well now. Ive bought everything she might need, but the doctor said shell need to be watched over for a little while. So shell be staying with us for a bit. You dont mind, do you?
Logically, one might think that Emily herself would have asked her husband this, considering it was her own mother. Instead of thanking him for his generosity, she instead chose to make a rather dramatic scene, saying, Mother, Ive just moved to London, started to get my own life sorted, and now youre here! Now you want to live in the same house as me? So what, must I care for you for the rest of my life? Will you really never want to go back to your village?
Naturally, her retired mother was troubled by these words, but the one who was most surprised was Emilys husband.
At last, the true face of his wife was showing itself to him, something he never saw when hed asked for her hand. Her mother, deeply anxious, began packing her things to return home, while Emily, full of resentment, slammed the door and stormed off to a friends. Returning late that night, Emily found her own suitcases packed and a train ticket waiting. Dazed and not understanding what had happened, she asked her husband:
So, my mother hasnt left yet? Or are you going somewhere?
No, those are your things. And thats your ticket, he replied calmly. Perhaps we should live separately for a while. Ive dreamed of having a child for some time, but tonight I realised I cant have my children grow up with a mother like this. Have a think about your actions. Spend some time in your mothers village, at her house; shell stay here with me for now. If you come to your senses, you can always come back.
Never did Emily imagine her husband would make such a decision.
Reflecting on this story, I realise how vital it is to show kindness and gratitude to those who care for us, especially as age makes us more vulnerable. The patience and understanding we offer our loved ones today are, in the end, the qualities wed wish for ourselves tomorrow.
