Everyone chips in, but you, youre the special one here
Ruth, listen, do you think you could pop over today? her sister asked hopefully. Only Henrys away and its quite dull on my own with the kids.
Ruth pinched the bridge of her nose as her mind raced through a jumble of excuses, each more unconvincing than the last. She couldnt claim urgent workSarah never buys that, not on a Saturday. If she blamed exhaustion, it would open the door to endless questions, advice, and little lectures. Ruth bit her lip, exhaled, and forced herself to sound regretful.
Sarah, its not going to work today, Ruth put as much sympathy in her tone as she could. Emilys not feeling well. Were staying in and taking it easy.
There was a pause at the other end, then a long, almost theatrical sigh.
Oh, what a shame, Sarah drew out. We could have chatted over tea while the kids played together…
Ruth rolled her eyes in relief that her sister wasnt there to see. Kids playing together? Right. Emily would be busy chasing the little ones while the grown-ups gossiped over tea in the kitchen.
Yes, its a pity, Ruth nodded. Once Emily gets better, well arrange something.
Sarah sighed some more, wished Emily a speedy recovery, and hung up. Ruth glanced down at her phone, realising with slight amusement that the whole exchange lasted less than four minutes. Not a single question about Ruth herselfher work, health, or how she was feeling. Sarah had called for one purpose only: to see if shed bring her and Emily over. She needed a free babysitter, and that was the sum of her interest.
Emily peeked into the room, eyeing her mother with curiosity.
Was that Aunty Sarah again? Emily asked.
Ruth nodded and placed her phone on the side table. Emily padded in and tucked her legs beneath her on the sofa, looking slightly annoyed but also just a little relieved.
Mum, I really dont want to go over there again, said Emily firmly.
Ruth turned towards her daughter, eyebrows raised in anticipation. Emily pursed her lips, gathered her thoughts, and then let it all out in a rush.
She always dumps the kids on me, Emily scowled. Makes me watch them, run after them, keep them busy.
And her eldest is only five! Emily added in exasperation. Im not their nanny, Mum.
Ruth looked at her nine-year-old and couldnt help but smile. Emily already had a knack for stating clearly what she didnt like. She could stand up for herself and wasnt afraid to speak out. Ruth felt a prickle of pride.
Dont worry, Ruth stroked Emilys hair. We wont let that happen again.
Emily smiled gratefully and bounced off to her room.
Ruth stared up at the ceiling, letting her mind wander. Family had turned out rather oddly for them. Sarah was four years younger than Ruth, yet already had four children. Four! Ruth shook her head at the thought. She only had Emily, who hadnt even finished growing up yet. There was still so much to dotime, effort, and love yet to pour in. And Sarah had four all at once.
Ruth rubbed her temples and closed her eyes. Sarah had always assumed everyone around her was obliged to help with raising her brood. Their parents, Ann and Peter, were first recruited. Then Sarahs in-laws, the neighbours, family friends, distant relations. The whole extended clan was now a support system for Sarahs tribe. Everyone except Sarah herself.
Ruth smirked at the thought. She, on the other hand, had always managed differently. She only ever asked for her mums help when there was no other waywhen she was ill herself, or snowed under at work and desperate. The rest of the time, she handled things herself. It had been tough, especially those early years. But she managed. Nothing terrible happened. Her daughter turned out brilliantly: independent, intelligent, with real strength of character.
Whereas Sarah seemed to get cheekier with every year.
Ruth shrugged off the heavy thoughts and got up from the sofa. Shed dodged her sister for the day and that, she felt, was a small victory. Saturday chores awaitedno time to waste. Ruth went into the kitchen and started unloading the dishwasher.
…The days flew past in a blur of work and domestic routines. By Friday evening, Ruths phone buzzed. Sarah flashed on the screen. Ruth took a deep breath and answered.
Hows Emily? Sarahs voice dripped with artificial concern. All better, is she?
Yes, shes fine now, Ruth leaned against the wall. Running about like normal.
Brilliant! Sarah brightened up. Then you absolutely must come over for the weekendstay the night if you can!
Ruth rolled her eyes. Here we go again.
Its ever so lonely here, you know, Sarah whined. Kids are getting restless, Henrys away on business.
Sarah, staying overnight isnt going to work, Ruth said, shaking her head. But I could drop by on Saturday morning.
There was a disgruntled pause. Sarah had clearly been hoping for more, but eventually conceded to a daytime visit.
…Saturday morning arriveda typical grey, chilly English morning. Ruth got ready, zipped up her jacket, and set off alone. Half an hour on the bus, a ten-minute walk, and she was there.
Sarah opened the door and immediately craned her neck, peering behind Ruth.
Wheres Emily? she frowned.
Shes busy, Ruth stepped inside. Got a big test coming upneeds to revise.
Sarahs face twisted as if shed just sucked a lemon. She slammed the door shut with an impatient grunt.
Shes getting ridiculously difficult these days, Sarah complained, folding her arms. Never visits, doesnt ring, never texts.
Ruth shrugged off her jacket and hung it by the door. Somewhere deeper in the house, the children were making a racketsomething clattered, something else crashed. Ruth turned to Sarah and met her gaze.
Shes just tired of being used as your babysitter, Ruth replied, voice calm and clear.
Sarah exploded at once, as if Ruth had lit a match under her. Her face turned red; her eyes narrowed.
Its completely normal! Sarah said loudly. Older kids should be helping with the younger ones.
No, its not, Ruth answered firmly. Certainly not with someone elses children.
Theyre not someone elses! Sarah waved her hands about. Theyre her cousins!
Shes only ten, Sarah, Ruth clenched her fists. Shes still a child, not your help.
Sarah strode towards her, fiery-eyed. The wailing of the youngest echoed from the playroom, but Sarah didnt even glance that way.
Its good for her! Sarah jabbed a finger at Ruth. She ought to know how to handle children!
She doesnt need lessons like that, Ruth raised her voice too. She hasnt got any brothers or sisters of her own.
Exactly! Sarah practically shrieked. So let her muck in with mine! Let her learn!
Ruth took a step back in disbelief. Sarah wasnt even trying to hide her motives.
Do you hear yourself? Ruth shook her head. You just want to use my daughter as a free nanny.
And why not? Sarah put her fists on her hips. I cant cope alone.
Then why have four, Sarah? The words escaped Ruths mouth before she could stop them.
Sarah gasped as if slapped. Her face flushed even deeper, the veins standing out in her neck.
Youve got a daughter whos nearly grown up! Sarah screeched. She could drop by after school, help out every other day!
That was the last straw. Something in Ruth snapped, and all the frustration shed kept inside poured out.
Youve got some nerve, she hissed. You dump your responsibilities on everyone else.
Im just asking for help! Sarah insisted.
No, youre demanding it, Ruth grabbed her jacket. You think the world owes you.
So what? Mum and Dad help me! My mother-in-law helps me! But you, you always put your nose in the air!
Mum and Dad arent young anymore, Ruth said, pulling on her jacket. They deserve a break, not endless grandchild-minding.
They love it! Sarah reached out and grabbed Ruths sleeve.
Ruth yanked her hand free and headed to the door. Sarah stood fuming in the hallway.
Were not coming over anymore, said Ruth, opening the front door. Find a new babysitter.
She left, not bothering to look back at Sarahs shouts. The door slammed behind her with a bang.
…That evening, Ruths mum called. Ruth saw the nameAnn Parkerand accepted the call.
Ruth, what on earth have you done? Anns voice trembled with outrage. Sarahs in bitssobbing her eyes out! Youve driven your sister to a nervous breakdown!
Mum, I only told her the truth, Ruth replied, sitting on the sofa.
What truth? Mums voice rose. That you wont help your own sister?
Theres a difference between helping and being a slave, Ruth clenched her phone tightly.
Shes on her own with four kids! Ann cried. Henrys always away! Shes struggling!
That was her choice, Ruth said, determined not to budge. Not mine. Not Emilys.
Emily could at least pitch in now and then! Ann protested. Honestly, everyone helps Sarahonly you have to be special!
No, Ruth interrupted. My daughter is not a nanny for other peoples children.
Theyre not other peoples! Ann was practically shouting. Theyre family!
Ruth stood and gazed out of the window. Dusk was falling over the street, lamplight flickering on one by one.
Mum, if you and Dad want to spend your lives raising Sarahs kids, thats your decision, Ruth said quietly. But I never signed up for that.
Youre selfish! Mum snapped.
Ive got my own family, Ruth replied, steady. My husband, my daughter. I wont live my life for Sarah.
She ended the call before her mum could respond, letting the phone drop onto the sofa and pressing her hands over her face.
Warm arms wrapped around her from behind. Emily pressed up close and rested her head on Ruths shoulder.
I heard everything, Emily whispered.
Ruth turned and squeezed her tightly, breathing in the scent of shampoo in her hair.
I did it for you, Ruth whispered, stroking her hair. And Ill do it again.
Emily looked up and smiled, her eyes shining with gratitude and love.
I know, Mum, she said, squeezing Ruths hand. Thank you.
They stood at the window, arms around each other, watching the lights come on across the city. Somewhere in her house, Sarah would be sobbing and moaning to her mother-in-law. Somewhere, Ann would be ringing every relative with tales of her cold-hearted eldest. But in this flat, all was warmth and calm.
Ruth had made her decision, and this time she wouldnt waver. Even if it cost her her relationship with her sister and her mum, Emily was what mattered most. Her childhood, her freedom, her right to just be a child.
