Maggie Hargreaves always says caring for her granddaughter is utterly impossible.
All of my friends have mothers who can step in without a second thought. For Maggie, looking after little Pippa feels like a mountain shell never climb. She repeats the same line every time I call: Its your child, dear, Ive already raised mine. My daughter is five, enrolled at the local nursery in Chesterfield. Two years ago, after my maternity leave ended, I returned to teaching the early years, and I cant afford to take many days off. In moments like these Id love for my mother to be there.
Winter gives me a few spare hours, especially now that I dont own a summer cottage. Maggie spends her days at home, glued to the telly or on the phone with her bridge club. She has no other pursuits. Last week we visited the optician and discovered that Pippas eyesight is worsening. I phoned Maggie and told her wed have to admit Pippa to the eye clinic for ten days. We pick her up from nursery at oneoclock and drive her in the morning to the hospitaleverything is within a short drive: the nursery, the clinic, Maggies flat.
Pippa is wellbehaved, and Maggie knows that. She isnt grumpy, makes no noise, causes no trouble, eats whatevers put before her. Yet she harbours a deep reluctance to look after her. One afternoon I needed Maggies help because both my husband and I had to be at work.
It would be a relief if Maggie could stay with us for a few days, but she simply cant. Fortunately we have family nearby who can step in. My grandmother lives next door and has seemed to have a quiet spell lately, so it would make sense for her to watch Pippa while were on the shift. It wouldnt cost us anything extra, shes close, and it would lift a huge weight off my shoulders and my husbands.
Since Maggie retired, Ive been supporting her financially. I send her a regular allowance and cover the rent twice a month. When my husband and I go shopping, we take her along and she pays for everything herself. On every holiday I spoil her with pricey presents, and she takes all of it for granted, assuming its my duty to bring her meals and settle her bills because Im her daughter. I cant understand why she thinks thats his right. My child is my responsibility, not a chore Im supposed to offload.
It seems grandmothers arent obliged to look after their childrens kids, yet many do. Is that fair? It hurts deeply I pour my heart into supporting Maggie and she never seems to appreciate it.
