The Gaze of Green Eyes from the Past
Edward woke before dawn and thought to himself:
“Blimey, its been ages since I slept so welland where? In a haystack out in the field, with no comforts or a warm blanket. Not that it mattered. The summer air was mild, and the hay was sweet and snug.”
He rose and brushed the hay away. His mind was clear, untroubled by the recent parting from his wife, no sorrow weighing on him. Had he truly never loved her? The thought lingered.
“Did all those ten years together only seem like a semblance of married life? We got on well enough, but we never had a child. Victoria had a daughter, thoughshed once said she didnt even know who the father was. Shed had the girl for herself.”
Edward had always sensed something forced in Victorias affections, and quarrels were frequent. After each row, his memory conjured the greenish eyes and gentle smile of Nurse Margaret, who had leaned over him, administering injections and IV drips back in the hospital. Hed been wounded then, in the fighting overseas.
Sitting in the haystack, Edward smiled at the remembrance of Margarether soothing voice, those emerald eyes, her thick chestnut hair. Hed never seen eyes like hers since. Hed always believed it was Margaret who helped him endure the pain and hardship.
On the day of his discharge, hed gathered a bouquet of wildflowers and gone to find her, resolved to ask her to come home with him. He knew it wouldnt be simple, but he had to try.
“Margaret isnt here,” another nurse told him. “Shes been transferred to another medical unit.”
“Where?” he asked.
“I dont know, and even if I did, I couldnt say. You know how things are here.”
Edward was crushed but determined to find her. Yet how could he, knowing only her name and the colour of her eyes? He had no choice but to return home, discharged due to his injuries. Nothing had changed therehis father drank, his mother worked and scolded.
Then one day, his old comrade Alfie paid him a visit. Theyd been through much together, and Alfie had just returned home as well.
“Good to see you, Ed,” Alfie said, embracing him. “Howve you been? Recovered?”
“Well enough,” Edward shrugged.
“Come back with me to my village,” Alfie offered. “Theres no work for you here. Unless theres someone keeping you?” He winked.
“No one,” Edward admitted. “I cant forget Margaret.”
“Blimey, mate, shes got you good. But youve got to keep lookingdont give up.”
So Edward went with Alfie, the friend whod become like family. Time passed. Edward bought a small, rundown cottage, fixed it up, and made it his own.
Alfie, meanwhile, fell in love and moved to town with his wife, Eliza.
“Sorry for dragging you out here only to leave you,” Alfie said. “Didnt expect to meet Eliza. But well stay in touch.”
“Dont fret,” Edward replied cheerfully. “I might be settling down myself soon. Ive proposed to Victoria.”
Now, gazing across the wide fields and distant woods, Edward snapped back to the presentand heard again the spiteful words Victoria had flung at him the day before.
“Youll never find another like mesomeone whod put up with you all these years. No other woman would tolerate your moods. And anyway, theres a proper man who loves me now.”
By “moods,” she meant the times Edward withdrew into himself, haunted by the past. Victoria despised it, poking at him until arguments erupted. He never understood why his unspoken memories vexed her so.
And yesterday, shed finally said what hed long suspected. He listened in silence, then packed a bag and left, her curses chasing him as he walked away from the village.
“Odd, really,” he mused. “I thought Id rage, shout, accuse her. But I didnt. Im perfectly calmeven glad its over.”
Hed decided to leave for town at first light. As evening fell, he turned off the road into a field where fresh haystacks stood and chose one to sleep in.
“Enough,” Edward thought, almost relieved. “No more pretending. Though Id guessed for a whileVictoria had taken up with that town official who came to oversee the new farms.”
For the first time in months, he felt light, as if a great weight had lifted. Burrowing into the hay, he told himself:
“Tomorrow will come. For now, rest. Alfie will stand by me, as he always has.”
He lay back, using his bag as a pillow, but sleep didnt come at once. The stars emerged, and memories pressed inhis injured arm, saved by miracle, still twinged now and then. He willed his mind elsewhere.
He recalled how hed met Victoriaa lively, cheerful woman, three years his senior, whod made him believe happiness was still possible. Hed never asked about her past or her daughters father. Hed simply tried to love her, certain theyd grow old together.
But hed failed her. Shed grown impatient with his “moods,” as she called themthe times he needed solitude to reckon with the horrors hed seen.
Thoughts tumbled until, unnoticed, he drifted off. The fresh air and sweet hay brought dreamless sleep. Yet upon waking, Margarets green eyes filled his mind again.
“Right then,” he muttered, climbing from the haystack. “Time to be off.”
He reached the road, caught a bus to town, and bought a bottle of wine and a box of chocolatesnothing stronger for him and Alfie, just a light drink between friends. The chocolates were for Eliza.
At their door, he rang the bell. Alfie answered, hiking up his tracksuit trousers.
“Ed! Blimey, its good to see you!” He pulled Edward into a bear hug. Peering past him, Alfie frowned. “You alone?”
Edwards silence spoke volumes.
“Right, wellkitchens this way. Breakfasts on. Eliza, look whos here!”
Their seven-year-old, Timmy, barrelled into Edwards legs.
“How good it is to be welcomed,” Edward thought.
They sat at the kitchen table, reminiscing. Edward produced the wine, a large chocolate bar for Timmy, and the sweets for Elizaonly then noticing her rounded belly.
“Am I seeing things, or?” he began.
Eliza laughed. “Or indeed!”
“Bloody brilliant,” Edward grinned.
“Didnt expect it ourselves,” Alfie admitted, clapping his shoulder. “Thought we were done, but here we areexpecting a little girl.”
“Youre not old yet,” Edward chuckled.
“Says the man past thirty,” Eliza teased. Edward shrugged.
Later, as they shared stories, Eliza kept giving Alfie meaningful looks. Finally, she planted herself between them.
“No, I wont wait. Youll forget if I leave it to you.” She turned to Edward. “Weve wanted to tell you for ages but didnt know how.”
Edward frowned. “Tell me what?”
She took a breath. “Margaretshes been found. Alive and well, living in a village up north. She wrote to us. Asked about you.”
Edwards throat went dry. He drained his water glass.
“We didnt want to stir things up while you were with Victoria,” Alfie explained. “But Eliza kept searchingand now weve found her. Shes alone, Ed. Said she never met another man like you. Shes been waiting.”
Edward only truly steadied himself on the train north. The countryside flashed by the window, Margarets lettermemorised by nowclutched in his hand. His Margaret. Waiting. Loving him still, as hed never stopped loving her.
Edward was riding toward his happiness at last.
