You Chose Work Over Me
II cant believe what Im hearing! Emilys voice trembled as she swiped a mug off the kitchen counter, sending it shattering against the wall, coffee splattering like a rogue paintbrush. Your bloody job, your endless calls, your never-ending business trips!
Stop being so dramatic, James said calmly, which only infuriated her more. Inside, she was boiling over, while he stood there like a statue. I cant just cancel this trip, Em. This is about the promotion.
The promotion?! she choked on the word. That promotion of yours always, always comes first! You missed Lilys graduation, didnt even call on our anniversaryeven though I reminded you a week in advance! And now this! Maxs surgery is in two days, and youre jetting off to bloody Edinburgh!
Manchester, he corrected automatically, then winced.
Oh, what does it matter? Might as well be Timbuktu! Emily flailed her arms like a windmill. You wont be there when your sons under anaesthesia! When hes terrified out of his mind, when Im climbing the walls with worry! And all for some pointless contract with a signature!
James exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down his stubbled face. Dark circles under his eyes, but that stubborn set to his jawsame as always.
Its a routine surgery, Em. Just his tonsils, not a brain tumour.
Oh, sure! And what if something goes wrong? What then? Her nails dug into her palms.
Nothing will. I spoke to the surgeon myself.
But if it does?! Her voice hit a pitch only dogs could hear.
For Gods sake, sit down! He jerked his shoulders. If anything happens, Ill catch the first flight back. Like when Lily had her appendix out, remember?
Oh, I remember! She gave a bitter laugh. You rolled in eight hours after it was over. The doctors had gone home, but there you werehero of the hour!
James just shook his head.
I cant split myself in two, Em. I work my arse off so we can have this life. Or have you forgotten how you nagged me about moving? The neighbours are loud, the streets a mess, the Tubes too far
Id take that cramped flat in a heartbeat if it meant having a proper husband and father around!
James dropped into a chair with a thud.
We had a deal, didnt we? You handle the home, the kids, the cosy life. I bring in the money. Whats changed?
Emily opened her mouth to unleash hell, but the front door burst openbackpacks thudding, kids chattering.
Well talk later, she muttered, forcing a smile so fake it hurt her cheeks.
James opened his laptop. The presentation was due by evening, but his mind was foggy, useless.
—
That night, after the kids were asleep, Emily scrolled mindlessly through her phone at the kitchen table. She wasnt crying anymorejust numb. Twenty-two years of marriage, and somehow theyd become a spreadsheet: income, outgoings, assets, liabilities. When had it all gotten so complicated?
James walked in and sat opposite her.
Coffee? she asked, not looking up.
Please. He rubbed his temples. Em, we need to talk.
About what? She clicked the kettle on. Its obvious. Youre flying out the day after tomorrow. Max and I will manage alone.
Listen. He moved closer, hands on her shoulders. I know this is hard. But this promotionit matters.
More than us? She turned, and in her eyes, he saw exhaustion, not anger.
Everything I do is for you.
No, James, she shook her head. Its for you. Your pride, your career. Weve been an afterthought for years.
Thats not true.
Isnt it? When Max heard about the surgery, do you know what he said? At least its during Dads trip, so he wont stress about missing work. Hes eleven, and hes already scheduling his life around your job.
James had no reply.
And Lily asked if youd make her uni graduation next year. Not because she wants you therebecause shes afraid youll be too busy again.
Ill be there, he mumbled.
Ill try, she echoed. Always Ill try. You know when I realised youd chosen work over me? When I had the miscarriage. Ten years ago. You flew in two days after I was discharged.
I was in Hong Kong for negotiations
Exactly, she cut in. You were negotiating. I was losing a child. Alone.
She turned back to the coffee grinder, methodical.
You never told me how you felt, he said quietly.
Would it have changed anything? Youd have apologised, promised it wouldnt happen againthen chosen work the next time.
James pinched the bridge of his nose.
Maybe you should talk to someone. A therapist.
Ah, yes. The problems me, is it? She laughed humourlessly. Not the fact my husbands a glorified lodger who tops up the joint account?
Thats not what I meant.
Then what? Im overreacting?
Youre twisting my words.
Fine. Tell mewhen was the last time you went to a parents evening? Or could name Maxs teacher? Or even knew what Lilys dissertation is about?
Silence.
Exactly, she said, sliding his coffee across the table. Youve missed our lives, James. And youre still missing them.
He took a sip and wincedtoo strong, like always when she was upset.
Ill take time off this summer. Well go somewhere, all of us.
Lilys backpacking in Cornwall with friends, she said flatly. Max is signed up for football camp.
You couldve checked with me first! Irritation crept into his voice.
I did. Twice. You said, Sort it, well see. So we did.
He rubbed his eyes. Sorry. I dont remember.
You know whats worst? Her gaze drifted past him. Im starting to think Im better off without you. When youre home, I keep hoping youll actually *be* herenot just your body. And every time, Im disappointed.
What do you want from me? His voice cracked. To turn down the promotion? Quit?
I want our kids to have a father, not a cash machine. I want a husband, not a housemate who occasionally sleeps here.
I cant just throw away my career at fifty.
No ones asking you to. Just find a bloody balance.
Im trying! He caught himself, lowering his voice. But youve got to understandmy role, the responsibilities
I know the script by heart, she interrupted. But the kids are growing up without you. So am I.
A heavy silence fell. The hum of the fridge, the tick of the clock.
I cant cancel the trip, he said finally. But Ill move it by a daytake Max to the hospital.
Youve already booked flights.
Ill change them. He met her eyes. And Ill call every hour until hes out of surgery.
She gave a sad smile. You think that fixes it?
No, he admitted. But its a start. I dont want to lose you, Em.
You already have, she whispered. And I dont know if its fixable.
—
The hospital corridor buzzed with noise. Emily sat on a rigid chair outside the operating theatre, twisting her handbag strap. Max had been in for over an hourdouble the expected time.
Lily sat beside her, glued to her phone but stealing anxious glances at the doors.
Wheres Dad? she asked suddenly.
You knowbusiness trip.
But he promised to call.
Emily checked her watch. Probably in a meeting.
As usual, Lily muttered.
Just then, the surgeon emerged, smiling. All went well. Hes in recoveryyou can see him soon.
Relief flooded Emilys veins. Lily squeezed her hand.
We should call Dad, she said.
Emily dialledstraight to voicemail. She left a message: *Surgerys done. Max is fine.*
No reply.
Over tea in the cafeteria, Lily blurted out, Are you and Dad getting divorced?
Emily choked. What?
Youre always arguing when you think we can
