I was sitting in the living room when the doorbell rang, announcing a visitor. Lucy slipped off her apron, wiped her hands and went to answer. On the doorstep stood my daughter Emily, arminarm with a young bloke. Lucy let them in.
“Hey, Mum,” Emily pecked my cheek. “This is Dave he’ll be moving in with us.”
“Nice to meet you,” the lad said, nodding.
“And this is my aunt, Aunt Lucy,” Emily added.
“Lucy,” I corrected her, “that’s my name.”
“What’s for dinner, Mum?” Emily asked.
“Pea purée and sausages,” Lucy replied.
“I dont eat pea purée,” Dave muttered, shedding his coat and heading to the bedroom.
“Dave, you dont like peas?” Emily made an exaggerated gasp.
Dave flopped onto the sofa, dropping his backpack on the floor.
“This is actually my room,” Lucy said.
“Dave, follow me, I’ll show you where we’ll be staying,” Emily called out.
“Personally, I like it here,” Dave grumbled as he rose.
“Lucy, could you think of something to feed Dave?” Emily asked.
“I’m not even sure. We only have half a pack of sausages left,” Lucy shrugged.
“Sausages with mustard, ketchup and some bread will do,” he replied.
“Right then,” Lucy muttered, heading to the kitchen. Shed spent years bringing home stray kittens and puppies, and now she was feeding a human.
She ladled the pea purée into a bowl, tossed two fried sausages onto a plate, pushed a side salad forward and sat down with gusto.
“Mom, why are you eating alone?” Emily asked as she entered the kitchen.
“Because I just got back from work and I’m starving,” Lucy answered between bites. “If anyone wants food, they should serve themselves or cook. Oh, and one more thing why is Dave moving in with us?”
“Because he’s my husband.”
Lucy choked on her sausage.
“My husband?” she sputtered.
“Yes, that’s how it works. You’re an adult now, you decide whether to marry or not. By the way, I’m nineteen.”
“You didnt even invite us to a wedding.”
“There was no wedding, we just signed the papers. Since we’re now husband and wife, we’ll live together,” Emily said, eyeing her mum chewing.
“Congratulations, then. Why no ceremony?” I asked, trying to keep the peace.
“If you have money for a wedding, you can hand it over well find something to spend it on.”
“Got it,” Lucy said, shovelling the rest of her dinner. “Why here, though?”
“Because the flat they have is a onebedroom and four of them already live in it.”
“So renting wasn’t an option?”
“We have my room, why would we rent elsewhere?” Emily wondered.
“Understood.”
“Will you give us anything to eat?” Dave asked.
“The pot of pea purée is on the stove, sausages are in the pan. If that’s not enough, theres another halfpack in the fridge. Help yourselves.”
“Mom, youve got a new soninlaw,” Emily said, emphasizing the last word.
“And what? I have to break into a jig for that?” Lucy snapped. “Im exhausted after work, no need for any ritual dancing. Use your own hands and legs.”
“Thats why youre still single!” Emily retorted, slamming the bedroom door.
Lucy finished her meal, washed the dishes, cleared the table and changed into gym clothes. She grabbed her bag and headed to the local leisure centre. She kept herself fit, hitting the gym and the pool a few evenings a week.
By ten oclock she came home, looking forward to a hot mug of tea, only to find the kitchen in chaos. The lid of the peapurée pot was missing, the dish had dried and cracked, a packet of sausages lay open on the counter, and a stale loaf sat without its wrapper. The frying pan was scorched, its nonstick coating scraped with a fork. The sink was piled with dishes, a sticky sweet puddle stained the floor, and the air smelled of cigarettes.
“Well, thats a new one,” Lucy mused. “Emily never lets a place get like this.”
She opened the bedroom door. The youngsters were drinking wine and smoking.
“Emily, clear the kitchen up. Buy a new pan tomorrow,” Lucy said, retreating to her room without shutting the door.
Emily sprang up and chased after her.
“Why should we clean? And how am I supposed to buy a pan? Im a student, I dont work. Are you worried about the dishes?” she snapped.
“Listen, Emily: eat, then clean. Make a mess, then clean. Break something, replace it. Everyone looks after their own mess. And yes, that pan was cheap, now its ruined.”
“You dont want us living here,” Emily hissed.
“Not at all,” Lucy replied calmly.
She didnt want an argument, especially since nothing like this had ever happened before.
“But I have a claim,” Emily went on.
“This flat is mine, all of it. I paid for it, I bought it. Youre only on the lease. Dont expect me to foot your bills. If you want to stay, follow the house rules,” Lucy said, her voice steady.
“Ive lived by your rules my whole life. Im married now, so you cant tell me what to do,” Emily shrieked. “Besides, youre old enough to hand over the flat to us.”
“Ill give you a whole corridor in the block and a bench outside. Are you happy, newly married? Did anyone ask me? You spend the night here alone or with a husband, but not here. He wont be moving in.”
“Fine, you can keep the flat. Dave, were leaving,” Emily shouted, gathering her things.
Within five minutes, the newlywed soninlaw burst into the living room.
“Alright, Mum, dont panic, everythingll be fine,” he slurred, clearly tipsy. “Emily and I arent going anywhere tonight. Behave and we might even get a bit romantic later.”
“What kind of mother are you?” Diane, Lucys mother, snapped. “Your mum and dad are still at home, so get on with it and dont forget your new wife.”
“Right, Im on it,” the lad growled, raising his fist and shoving it towards his motherinlaw.
Diane seized his hand with manicured fingers, squeezing hard.
“Let go, you lunatic!” the young man shouted.
“Mom, what are you doing?” Emily screamed, trying to pull her mother away.
Diane shoved Emily aside, kicked Dave in the groin and elbowed him in the neck.
“Ill file assault charges,” the youngster threatened. “Ill sue you.”
“Hold on, Ill call the police so they can record everything,” Lucy said.
The couple fled the tidy twobedroom flat.
“Youre not my mother any more,” Emily yelled, “and youll never see your grandchildren.”
“What a tragedy,” Lucy replied dryly. “Ill finally have some peace.”
She looked at her hands a few nails were broken. “All I get are losses because of you,” she muttered.
After they left, she cleaned the kitchen, tossed the ruined pea purée and the cursed pan, and changed the locks. Three months later, as she was leaving work, Emily appeared, looking gaunt, cheeks hollowed, clearly upset.
“Mum, whats for dinner?” she asked.
“I havent decided yet,” Lucy said, shrugging. “What do you want?”
“Chicken and rice,” Emily whispered, eyes watery. “And a bit of salad.”
“Alright, lets get the chicken,” Lucy replied. “Youll have to sort the salad yourself.”
Emily didnt ask further, and Dave never turned up again.
