5th March
She packed her bags and disappeared without leaving a trace.
Sometimes I still cant believe how things spiraled so quickly. Oh, stop pretending youre some sort of saint, itll blow over. Women always cool down in the end; shell shout a bit and get over it. Thats the main thing goal achieved. Weve got a son. The family line continues. Thats what George kept repeating, as if it was all that mattered.
But I couldnt just let it go. There was something hed told me last week that still didnt sit right. I leaned in close, my voice a whisper. George, you told me a week ago youd sorted Sarahs pregnancy. What did you mean by that?
He put his fork down and slumped into the chair. Exactly what it sounds like. She had me running in circles for five years. Not ready. Her career. Later, always later. But whens later supposed to be? Im thirty-two, Dina. I wanted a son, a proper family, like everyone else. So I switched out her pills.
I felt sick. Did you ever tell her? When?
I told her the day she left, he muttered. She started screaming at me, so I said, get used to it, this is what you wanted, I only gave you a little push.
He honestly thought shed calm down, face facts, and just carry on. But sheSarahgrabbed her bag and walked out the door.
6th March
A lone hairbrushGeorges, I thinkwas on the cluttered kitchen table, shoved between the mountain of unwashed bottles. Just looking at it irritated me. Why cant everyone just tidy up after themselves?
The baby in the cot next door had finally quieted down, but the silence brought no peacehed be crying again within the hour. I tightened my dressing gown and put the kettle on.
Only a month ago, we brought Sarah, my sister-in-law, home from hospital. George was all smiles, running about, thrusting bouquets upon the nurses. But Sarah looked… if anything, like someone being marched to the gallows rather than home.
Id blamed exhaustionfirst baby, hormones; its always a bit much. I should have noticed sooner.
The door slammed in the hall. George was home from work, already loosening his tie, rifling through the fridge without so much as looking at me. Anything to eat?
Pasta in the pot. I boiled some sausages as well. George, the baby’s just nodded off. Please, keep it down?
He snorted, yanking out a plate. Long day, Din. Clients drove me spare. Hows the little one?
Robinyour son, I said, a bit too loudly as I set the mug down. Hes had a sore tummy, screamed for three hours.
Youre managing, though, George shrugged, already wolfing down his dinner. Its in your blood, you women. Mum coped with us when Dad was offshore for months.
I bit my lip so hard I thought Id bleed. Id only planned to stay until Id sorted out my studio debts, and yet, after just two weeks, Id become an unpaid nanny, housekeeper, and chef.
George acted like nothing had happened. As if his wife hadnt just packed up and vanished.
Have you heard from Sarah? I said, watching him scoff his sausages.
He froze, fork in mouth, his face darkening. She wont answer. Hangs up. Would you believe it? Leaving a baby like that
He was angry that hed switched her pillsangry she wasnt grateful.
Youre a cad, George, I said quietly.
What? I did it all for us! Im the one working! Bringing money home! Shes the one who left the baby! Whos in the wrong?
You took away her right to choose. I stood up. You lied to the person you claim to love. What did you expect her to do? Thank you for ruining her life?
He waved me off. Dont start, Dina. Shell get over it. Where else can she go? The childs here, her things are here. Shell run out of money and come crawling back. Until then, youll help, right? End of quarter coming up and I havent got time for nappies.
I said nothing, just left the kitchen and headed for the nursery.
Robin was sleeping, little fists balled up tight. I watched him, my heart breaking. He was so innocentand so was Sarah, in her own way, trapped.
I unlocked my phone, opened up the messenger. Sarah had been online three minutes ago. I started, deleted, rewrote, and sent: Sarah, its Dina. Im not asking you to come back. I just want to know youre alright. And its hard coping alone. Please, can we just talk? No shouting.
Ten minutes later: Im at a hotel. Leaving for work in Leeds in three dayswas planned long before I found out you know. Ill file for divorce when Im back. Im not abandoning Robin, but I cant be there. I cant even look at himI just see George.
I sighed. I understand, Sarah. Honestly, I do. George told me everything.
And how is he? Smug?
Pretty much. Hes sure youll come back.
Let him dream. Dina, if youre struggling, let me know. I can find a nanny, transfer money. But I wont go back. Not ever.
I put the phone aside, feeling so tired. I need to find work, clear my debts, rebuild my life. But I cant leave Robin with George eitherhe barely knows how to hold a nappy.
9th March
The next three days bled together in a blur. George came home late, stuffed his face, and collapsed into bed. Any plea for help was met with Im shattered or You know what youre doing.
One night, Robin cried so much I cracked and barged into Georges room, switching on the light.
Get up, I said icily.
George groaned, burying himself in the duvet. Din, leave me alone. I have to be up at six.
Tough. Go feed your son. My hands are shaking from exhaustion and I cant do it right now.
He sat up, wild-haired and angry. Are you mad? This is why youre living here! Youve got a roof over your head, I pay the bills!
Oh, thats how it is? I snapped. So Im just your maid?
Call it what you like, he said, pulling the covers over his head again. Sarah will be back. Then you can rest. Until thenget on with it.
I fled the room.
That night, I didnt sleep. I rocked the cradle in the kitchen, trying to work out how to make George pay for what hed done. Id had enough.
The next morning, when George left, I texted Sarah.
We need to talk. Today. While hes not here. Please.
Sarah agreed.
11th March
We met in a little park near the flat. Sarah looked terriblepale, with deep bags under her eyes, thinner than ever.
She just stared at Robin in his pram, her hands shaking.
Hes grown, she whispered. Changed so much in two weeks
He doesnt recognise you, I said gently.
I know. She covered her face. Im not a monster, Dina. Maybe I love him, somewhere deep down. But the thought of living with George sharing a bed with a man who could betray me like that I cant breathe.
What if you didnt have to live with George?
She lifted her head. What do you mean?
He thinks youll come back, that you and Robin belong to him. Lets be honesthe doesnt want to be a father. He wants to manage the perfect family project. Hes never spent a night up with Robin, doesnt know how much formula to mix. He wants the title, not the job.
So what do you suggest?
You go to Leeds for your business trip. Get stronger. Ill stay here three more weeks and sort things out.
Sort what out?
The divorce. Custody. Youre not going back to him, Sarah. Look for a flat. Ill move in with you and help with Robin while you work. My jobs are picking up againIve got freelance gigs lined up. Well be fine. Without him.
Sarah looked at me as if she couldnt quite believe it.
Youd go against your brother?
Id rather that than be complicit. He thinks Im on his side because Ive nowhere else, but hes wrong.
She stared into the sunshine flickering over the pram. What about him? Hell never simply hand Robin over. Itll be a row.
Yes, I nodded. But weve got an ace: he admitted about the pills. If that comes out in court Ill back up every word. And all about his help with the baby, too. He doesnt truly want Robin, Sarahhe just wants control.
Sarah actually smiled, faint but real. Youve grown up, Dina.
No choice, I laughed softly. Soits settled?
Yes. Thank you, Dina.
The next three weeks raced by. George grew grumpier each day, noticing I now met him at the door without the usual plate of food.
Whens Sarah coming back? he asked one night, throwing his briefcase on the sofa.
Tomorrow, I replied quietly, Robin in my arms.
Thank God. At last, a decent meal. Maybe well finally get out for dinnerIm sick of pasta. Should I buy her a present, think? Ring or earrings or whateverwomen love that stuff.
I looked at him and felt physically sick.
You really think a ring will fix this?
He approached and tried to pat my shoulder, but I shrugged him off. Enough of the wounded saint act. Itll all work out. Women always shout and cool off, thats their way. The main thing is Ive got my son, the family line marches on.
I stayed silent.
12th March
The next morning, Sarah came while George was at work. She didnt come up, just waited downstairs in the car. Id packed all Robins things, my suitcase, whatever essentials wed need.
It took three trips to get everything into her car. Robin slept peacefully in his car seat.
I returned to the flat once moreleft the keys on the kitchen table, exactly where Georges hairbrush used to be. I placed a note beside them.
George, weve gone. Dont look for Sarahshell contact you through her solicitor. Robins with her. And so am I. You wanted a family, but forgot that family is built on trust, not manipulation. Theres pasta in the fridge; you’ll have to manage on your own now.
We left.
Sarah rented a small, cozy place across the city. The first days were brutalRobin missed his old routine, Sarah broke down in tears, my phone rang off the hook with George screaming down the line.
He threatened, cursed, promised to take us to court, leave us penniless.
I listened calmly.
But we got through.
Once the shouting faded, George seemed to vanish. At the court hearing, he barely bothered to say he wanted custodynot a word about raising Robin.
I was right: George didnt want the hassle. He settled the matter with monthly child support, didnt fight for visitations.
Its funny. He got his familybut he lost what truly mattered.
