I honestly dont know what Id do without you.
Emily, forgive me, Ive fallen in love with someone else. Im leaving, but the house will stay with you and our son. Im sorry for sneaking out like this without saying a word. I just couldnt watch you cry, so Im writing this note. Please believe me, this isnt easy for me either and give our son a kiss from me
****
Come on, sunshine, time to get up! Emily called, nudging her son Oliver awake before heading into the bedroom to see her husband, James.
Love, you need to get ready for work soon! Rise and shine! she laughed as she tickled his foot sticking out from under the duvet.
James groaned into life, still half asleep. He never found it easy to get up in the mornings, unlike Emily. She was up with the sunrise and would have breakfast going, herself sorted, and a few chores done before the two lads, as she liked to call them, even stirred. Granted, she went to bed early, always knackered by the evening.
She was in the kitchen, making tea, when Oliver shuffled in, yawning, from his bedroom.
Wash your face first, then breakfast, Emily told him, nodding towards the bathroom.
Obediently, Oliver went off to brush his teeth. A few minutes later, just as they were tucking into their toast and eggs, James strolled out, still in his dressing gown.
Look, Em, I think Ill stay at home today. Im going to ring in sick
He looked so pale that Emily felt instantly worried.
Whats wrong? Are you feeling ill?
My head is pounding. And I feel a bit queasy James leaned against the door frame, looking exhausted.
Emily jumped up, pressing her hand to his forehead and searching his face.
Youre not burning up. Do you want me to stay at home with you?
No, Em, honestly, you just head to work, get Oliver to school, and Ill have a lie down. Ill be fine probably just need a rest.
Well, ring me if you need anything, she insisted.
Of course, James smiled weakly. See you this evening.
Emilys whole day dragged by. She felt on edge, anxious about James it wasnt like him to be poorly for no reason, and hed looked really unwell. Maybe hed just been overdoing it at work, she reasoned. Still, she felt a knot of unease, like something bad was about to happen.
She finished up early, picked up Oliver, whod gone to his mates place after school, and headed home. The worry just kept growing in her, and Oliver kept glancing worriedly at her in the car.
Mum, whats wrong? he asked as they neared their street. Youre supposed to finish later today. And you look a bit peaky too. Are you both sick or something?
Emily glanced at her twelve-year-old. He might have been growing up fast, but he was still her boy, and she didnt want to frighten him.
Im just worried about Dad, love. He wasnt feeling well this morning and I just want to check hes alright.
Oliver muttered something but kept quiet after that. They finally reached their house, and Emily hustled to get inside, Oliver trudging behind with his heavy schoolbag. He couldnt really understand why she looked so scared.
Emilys hands trembled as she unlocked the door and hurried in. There was an ominous silence no sign of James anywhere. Emily searched every room then came back to the front room, where Oliver stood. He was pale, on the verge of tears, clutching a piece of paper hed clearly just read.
Whats that? Give it here!
Emilys voice shook, and Oliver silently handed her the letter.
Emily, forgive me, Ive fallen in love with someone else. Im leaving, but the house will stay with you and our son. Im sorry for sneaking out like this without saying a word. I just couldnt watch you cry, so Im writing this note. Please believe me, this isnt easy for me either and give our son a kiss from me
What a coward, Oliver whispered angrily.
Dont say that hes still your father! Emily said, trying hard to keep it together.
Hes left us, Mum! I hate him!
Oliver stormed into his room and slammed the door. It hurt so much, he just couldnt understand why his dad would do something like this. Everything had seemed fine. Emily turned back to the note and kept reading.
I met Lucy two years ago, and I could never quite bring myself to leave sooner, but now I just have to. I hope you can forgive me one day. Please, dont show this to Oliver I dont want him to think badly of me.
Emily gave a bitter laugh Oliver had already figured it out for himself and he would make up his own mind about his dad after this.
She wandered aimlessly through the house, ending up in their bedroom. Seeing that Jamess things were gone brought the reality crashing in, and she collapsed on the floor, sobbing her heart out. Her whole life had been torn apart in one unexpected moment.
She didnt know how long she sat there on the carpet grieving for her marriage. She desperately wished she could turn back time, stay home that morning and somehow keep James from leaving, but a part of her knew that if hed made up his mind, nothing she did would have changed it. If only hed had the guts to say it to her face. At least that would have been honest. Instead, he just vanished, too much of a coward to confront them.
Eventually, Emily splashed her face with cold water and sorted herself out, then went to check on Oliver. He was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, eyes red from crying.
Mum, why did he do this?
Oh, sweetheart, I dont know. He doesnt love me anymore, I suppose, but hes still your dad.
No, Mum, he wrote he *had* to go that must mean the other womans having a baby. I get it, Im not a kid anymore Means he doesnt love me either. Maybe I annoyed him? Wed planned to see a football match this weekend and go for burgers Did I ask for too much? Did I get on his nerves?
Emilys chest ached listening to Oliver talk. She felt exactly the same. But she also knew Oliver should still have a relationship with his dad, and she didnt want to turn them against each other. So she stroked his arm and said gently:
Oliver, you werent a bother, honestly. I know for certain thats not it. Dad just found someone else. Thats nothing to do with you. Youll always be important to him, youll see. Hell want to see you again.
He betrayed you, Oliver muttered darkly.
Emily understood that too. She felt the pain, the anger, the urge to lash out. For two years James hid everything and never once thought about their feelings. Hed looked them straight in the eye, told them he loved them, all while meeting someone else.
The days that followed were heavy and bleak. Emily filed for divorce, and Oliver said hed never forgive his dad. He was old enough to understand. At night, she could sometimes hear him crying in bed.
But slowly, things got easier. Emily and Oliver learned to get by without James, who didnt even bother to keep in touch with his own son. He claimed he was busy, that he had another family now, that he just didnt have time. Of course, Oliver took it to heart. It went on like this for some months.
One evening, as Emily was coming home from work, she heard raised voices in the stairwell. She hurried up the steps, realising it was Oliver and James.
James stood at their front door, pleading with Oliver, but Oliver looking scruffy and serious was shouting:
Go away! Youve no right to be here! I hate you! Mum doesnt love you anymore either!
Oliver, please listen to me Son
Just go!
Emily quickly intervened. At her appearance, Oliver calmed a little, and James broke into a desperate smile.
Em, Ive come home. Oliver wont let me in, but youll forgive me, wont you?
No, Mum! Oliver looked at her, almost begging but angry too.
Emily looked at James. There was a time shed loved him so much she couldnt picture life without him. But after what he did, even if she could forgive, the family theyd had was gone.
So what now? James asked hopefully, edging closer to the door. Will you let your husband and sons dad come in?
You stopped being that six months ago, Emilys voice sounded distant, Youve no right to this home. If you want half the place, get a solicitor involved. But were not a family anymore.
What?! Youre throwing me out? Emily, please! I dont know what I was thinking. I cant live without you two!
I forgive you, but were not living together again.
With that, she stepped into the flat and closed the door firmly. Oliver smiled at her it obviously hurt him too to turn his dad away, but he hadnt forgiven James and was still angry.
Dont be sad, Mum. Were doing alright just us.
Emily wiped away tears and smiled back. Through the peephole, she watched silently as James stood outside for a while, staring at the door before slinking away.
She felt a strange relief. Shed finally managed to send the cheater packing for good. Maybe it was time to stop mourning what was gone, she thought.
You know what, Oliver? Im proud of you, she grinned and winked at him.
Shall we order pizza tonight? Celebrate? How about it, Mum?
Oliver grinned too, and she could see the sadness in his eyes beginning to lift. The hardest part was over. Maybe, just maybe, they really would be okay now. Not straight away, but soon.
