I Shouted from the Window, “Mum, Why Are You Up So Early? You’ll Catch Cold!”—She Turned, Waved Her Shovel and Teased, “Just Keeping Things Tidy for You Lazybones!”—And the Next Day My Mum Was Gone… I Still Can’t Walk Past Our Garden Without Stopping… Every Time I See That Path, My Heart Clenches Like It’s Being Squeezed by an Invisible Hand. It Was Me Who Took That Photo on the Second of January… I Was Just Passing By, Saw the Footprints in the Snow—and Stopped. I Snapped a Picture, I Didn’t Even Know Why. Now, That Photo Is the Only Thing I Have Left from Those Days… We Celebrated New Year’s Just Like Always, Everyone Together. Mum Was Up Early on the Thirty-First. I Woke to the Smell of Frying Burgers and Her Cheerful Voice in the Kitchen: “Come on, love, up you get! Help Me Finish the Salads or Your Dad Will Eat All the Bits Before We’re Done!” I Came Down in My Pyjamas, Hair All Over the Place. She Was Standing at the Stove in Her Favourite Peach Apron—I Bought It for Her Back in School. Her Cheeks Were Red from the Heat of the Oven. “Mum, Let Me At Least Have a Coffee First,” I Groaned. “Coffee Later! Olivier First!” She Laughed, Passing Me a Bowl of Roasted Veg—“Chop Them Small, Just How I Like. Not Like Last Time—You Made Cubes the Size of Fists!” We Chopped and Chatted About Everything. She Told Me About Her Childhood New Years—No Fancy Salads, Just Herring Under a Fur Coat and Tangerines Her Dad Brought Home from Work. Dad Came In With the Tree—Massive, Almost Touching the Ceiling. “Ladies! Come Meet the Beauty!” He Called Out, Full of Pride. “Oh, Dad, Did You Knock Down the Whole Forest?” I Gasped. Mum Came Over and Just Threw Up Her Hands: “It’s Lovely, But Where Are We Going to Put It? The Last One Was Smaller at Least!” Still, She Helped Us Decorate. My Little Sister, Lizzie, and I Hung the Lights; Mum Found the Old Ornaments—Some from When I Was Little. I Remember She Picked Up the Glass Angel and Whispered, “I Bought This for Your Very First New Year. Remember?” “I Do, Mum,” I Lied. I Didn’t Really, But I Nodded. She Shone When She Thought I Remembered That Little Angel… My Brother Arrived in the Evening, Noisy as Always, Arms Full of Bags, Gifts and Bottles. “Mum, I Got the Good Champagne This Year! Not That Sour Stuff from Last Time.” “Oh, Son, Just Don’t Let Everyone Get Tipsy!” She Laughed and Hugged Him. At Midnight We All Went Out to the Garden. Dad and My Brother Set Off Fireworks, Lizzie Squealed with Delight, and Mum Held Me Tight by the Shoulders. “Look, love, Isn’t It Beautiful?” She Whispered. “We Have Such a Lovely Life…” I Hugged Her Back. “The Best, Mum. The Very Best.” We Drank Champagne from the Bottle, Took Turns and Laughed When a Rocket Nearly Flew into the Neighbour’s Shed. Mum, a Little Tipsy, Danced in Her Wellies to “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” and Dad Lifted Her Up in His Arms. We All Laughed Till We Cried. On New Year’s Day We Just Lazed Around. Mum Made Dumplings and Pork Pie This Time. “Mum, Give It a Rest! We’re Already Like Little Balloons!” I Moaned. “You’ll Manage—New Year’s Goes on All Week!” She Waved Me Off. On the Second, She Was Up Early Again, as Always. I Heard the Door Slam, Looked Out—the Garden, and There She Was with Her Shovel, Clearing the Path. In Her Old Puffy Coat, Scarf Tied Around Her Head, Meticulously Clearing from the Gate to the Door—A Narrow, Straight Walkway. Piling the Snow Neatly Along the Wall, Just Like Always. I Shouted: “Mum, Why Are You Up So Early? You’ll Freeze!” She Turned, Gave the Shovel a Wave: “Otherwise You Lot Will Be Wading Through Snowdrifts until Spring! Put the Kettle On, Will You?” I Smiled and Headed for the Kitchen. She Came In Half an Hour Later, Cheeks Red, Eyes Bright. “All Done, Nice and Tidy,” She Said and Sat Down for Coffee. “Turned Out Well, Didn’t It?” “It Did, Mum. Thank You.” That Was the Last Time I Heard Her So Cheerful. On January Third, She Woke Up and Whispered, “Girls, My Chest Hurts a Bit. Not Too Bad, Just Uncomfortable.” I Was Worried Right Away, “Mum, Shall I Call the Ambulance?” “No, Don’t Fuss, Love. Just Overtired—All That Cooking and Running. I’ll Have a Lie Down, I’ll Be Fine.” She Lay on the Sofa, Me and Lizzie by Her Side. Dad Went to the Chemist for Tablets. She Was Still Joking, “Don’t Look So Dramatic! I’ll Outlive You All Yet.” Then Suddenly She Went Pale. Clutched Her Chest. “Oh… I Feel Awful… Too Awful…” We Called the Ambulance. I Held Her Hand, Whispered, “Mummy, Hold On, They’ll Be Here Soon, Everything Will Be Fine…” She Looked at Me and Managed to Say, “Love… I Love You All So Much… I Don’t Want to Say Goodbye.” The Paramedics Arrived Fast But… Nothing Could Be Done. A Massive Heart Attack. It All Happened in Minutes. I Sat on the Hall Floor Howling. I Couldn’t Believe It—Only Yesterday She Was Dancing under the Fireworks, Laughing, and Now… Barely Standing, I Went Out into the Garden. Snow Falling Softly. And There Were Her Footprints—Those Same Small, Neat, Regular Steps. From the Gate to the Door and Back. Just as She Used to Make. I Stood and Looked for a Long Time. Asked God, “How Can It Be That Yesterday Someone Walked the Earth, Leaving Her Tracks, and Today She’s Gone? The Footprints Remain, but She Is No Longer Here!” I Felt—Or Imagined—That On the Second of January, She’d Gone Out for the Last Time—To Leave Us a Clean Path. So We Could Walk Down It Without Her. I Didn’t Brush the Tracks Away. Told Everyone Not To. Let Them Stay Until the Snow Covers Them for Good. That Was the Last Thing Mum Did for Us. Her Everyday Care Was Still There, Even After She Was Gone. A Week Later, the Snow Fell Heavy and Deep. I Keep That Photo—Her Last Footprints—Safe. Every Third of January, I Look at It Again and Stare at the bare Garden Path. And It Hurts So Much to Know: Somewhere Under All That Snow, She Left Her Very Last Steps. The Ones I’m Still Following After Her…

I leaned out the sash window and called, Mum, what are you doing up so early? Youll catch your death!
She turned, giving a greeting with her shovel, her woollen scarf fluttering, Just keeping things shipshape for you layabouts.
The following morning, Mum was gone.

I still cant walk past our garden gate without a shiver.
Each time my eyes touch that winding garden path, my heart tightens like its gripped by an unseen hand.
It was me who took that photograph on the second of Januarysimply walking by, noticing footprints pressed into the new snow, and stopping dead.
I took the picture without knowing quite why.
Now its all I have left from those strange, gleaming days.

Wed rung in New Years Eve the way we always did: the whole family crammed together.
Mum had been up since the crack of dawn on the thirty-first.
It was her cookingthe nutty sizzle of sausages and potatoes fryingthat woke me, along with her voice:
Rosie, get yourself up! You can help me finish the salads before Dad nicks all the ingredients!
I bumbled down in my flannel pyjamas, hair all over the place.
She stood at the cooker in her favourite apronthe faded one with painted peaches Id got her in Year Ten.
She beamed, cheeks red from the ovens heat.
Mum, please, coffee first? I whined.
Coffee later! Salad now! she laughed, tossing me a bowl with roasted roots and beetroot. Chop finely, proper English bits, not those boulder-sized cubes you did last time.

We chopped together, chatting about everything and nothing.
She told stories from her own childhood.
Back then, she said, New Years meant no posh saladsjust pickled herring on toast and tangerines Dad would manage to nab from the market.
Dad arrived with the treea monster, nearly brushing the ceiling.
Ladies, meet our new Christmas Queen! he declared from the doorway.
Oh, Dad, did you bring half the wood along with it? I gasped.
Mum appeared, arms thrown wide, It looks grandit might even fit this year if Rosie doesnt spread the baubles out like last time!
Still, she helped us, humming as Ellie and I wound the fairy lights around and she unearthed the battered old ornaments from my childhood.

She handed me one fragile glass angel, whispering,
I bought this for your very first Christmas, Rosie. Do you remember?
Of course I do, Mum, I lied.
The truth had long escaped me, but I nodded anyway.
She glowed each time I pretended some memory was shared.

My brother Tom rolled in near duskfull of noise, arms stuffed with bags, gifts, and bottles.
Mum, got some proper champers this year! Not that vinegary rubbish from before.
Oh darling, just dont get legless, Mum grinned, drawing him into a big, flour-dusted hug.

As midnight struck, out we trooped to the frosted garden.
Dad and Tom set off fireworks; Ellie shrieked with delight.
Mum stayed beside me, her arm fiercely round my shoulders,
See that, Rosie? Isnt it glorious?
Its the best, Mum. Weve got the very best.
We drank champagne from the bottle, laughing when a rocket shot sideways into Mrs Baxters shed.
Mum, tipsy and happy, danced in her slippers to The Holly and the Ivy, with Dad picking her up and spinning her until everyone howled with laughter.

On New Years Day, we did almost nothingjust lazed.
Mum, of course, was back in the kitchen, boiling up steak and kidney pudding and making a strange savoury jelly she insisted was traditional.
Mum, were going to burst! I moaned.
Oh hush, its only once a year. Besides, well eat leftovers for a week.

By the second, she was up first again.
I heard the back door bang and glanced through frosted glass
There she was, outside with the old red shovel, clearing a neat, careful path from gate to step, snow drifting in gentle heaps.
Her puffer jacket looked comically puffy, her hair tied up beneath a headscarf.
She took care, sweeping the snow to the wall just soalways the same, neatly done.

I called out: Mum, its barely light! Youll freeze!
She waved the shovel and called back,
Otherwise, you lazy lot will tramp through drifts till March! Put the kettle on, Rosie.
I smiled, heading to the kitchen.
Half an hour later, she clattered in, pink-faced, eyes sparkling.
All sorted nownice and tidy, she announced, pouring coffee with satisfaction.
Looks perfect, Mum. Cheers.

It was the last time I would ever hear her voice so bright.

Third of January, she woke pale and quiet:
Girls, theres a prickling in my chest not bad, just rather odd.
I felt a coil of worry lash up my spine.
Mum, shall I phone the ambulance?
She dismissed me with a flick, No need, love. Just worn myself out a bit, thats all. Ill lie down and be right as rain.
She lay on the sofa, Ellie and I hovering. Dad dashed to Boots for pills.
She was still joking, You two have faces as long as a wet weekend. Ill be outliving you all, mark my words.
Then, out of nowhere, she blanchedone hand to her chest
Oh dear this feels all wrong
We rang for help, and I held tight to her fingers, whispering,
Hold on, Mum, please theyll be here soon, itll be alright
She looked up at me, voice cracked and fading:
Rosie I love you all I just dont want to say goodbye.
The paramedics arrived in a rush, but it was useless.
A massive heart attack.
It was minutesnothing more.
I collapsed in the hallway, howling on the cold tiles.
Only yesterday shed danced under the night sky, and now
Gone.

Dazed, I wandered to the garden. Hardly a flake of snow fell.
And there, clear as if drawn in ink, were her footsteps.
Those careful, small printsstill winding from the gate to the step and back, just as she always left them.
I stared for ages, silent and numb, and asked some silent god,
How can someone walk here yesterday and vanish with the dawn? The footprints remain, but the person has gone.
It seemed shed come out that last morning to carve a path for usto leave behind a way through, even though she couldnt walk it herself anymore.
I refused to let anyone sweep the tracks away.
Let the snow cover them in its own time.
Her last kindness, lingering.
Even now, her gentle care shows itself, even after shes gone.

A week later, heavy snow buried everything.
Still, I keep the photographher last footprints.
Every third of January, I look at that photo and the empty path outside, and the ache returns
Knowing somewhere, under all that white, Mum left her final traces.
And I go on, following them, as if I might catch her up one day.

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Червоний камiнь
I Shouted from the Window, “Mum, Why Are You Up So Early? You’ll Catch Cold!”—She Turned, Waved Her Shovel and Teased, “Just Keeping Things Tidy for You Lazybones!”—And the Next Day My Mum Was Gone… I Still Can’t Walk Past Our Garden Without Stopping… Every Time I See That Path, My Heart Clenches Like It’s Being Squeezed by an Invisible Hand. It Was Me Who Took That Photo on the Second of January… I Was Just Passing By, Saw the Footprints in the Snow—and Stopped. I Snapped a Picture, I Didn’t Even Know Why. Now, That Photo Is the Only Thing I Have Left from Those Days… We Celebrated New Year’s Just Like Always, Everyone Together. Mum Was Up Early on the Thirty-First. I Woke to the Smell of Frying Burgers and Her Cheerful Voice in the Kitchen: “Come on, love, up you get! Help Me Finish the Salads or Your Dad Will Eat All the Bits Before We’re Done!” I Came Down in My Pyjamas, Hair All Over the Place. She Was Standing at the Stove in Her Favourite Peach Apron—I Bought It for Her Back in School. Her Cheeks Were Red from the Heat of the Oven. “Mum, Let Me At Least Have a Coffee First,” I Groaned. “Coffee Later! Olivier First!” She Laughed, Passing Me a Bowl of Roasted Veg—“Chop Them Small, Just How I Like. Not Like Last Time—You Made Cubes the Size of Fists!” We Chopped and Chatted About Everything. She Told Me About Her Childhood New Years—No Fancy Salads, Just Herring Under a Fur Coat and Tangerines Her Dad Brought Home from Work. Dad Came In With the Tree—Massive, Almost Touching the Ceiling. “Ladies! Come Meet the Beauty!” He Called Out, Full of Pride. “Oh, Dad, Did You Knock Down the Whole Forest?” I Gasped. Mum Came Over and Just Threw Up Her Hands: “It’s Lovely, But Where Are We Going to Put It? The Last One Was Smaller at Least!” Still, She Helped Us Decorate. My Little Sister, Lizzie, and I Hung the Lights; Mum Found the Old Ornaments—Some from When I Was Little. I Remember She Picked Up the Glass Angel and Whispered, “I Bought This for Your Very First New Year. Remember?” “I Do, Mum,” I Lied. I Didn’t Really, But I Nodded. She Shone When She Thought I Remembered That Little Angel… My Brother Arrived in the Evening, Noisy as Always, Arms Full of Bags, Gifts and Bottles. “Mum, I Got the Good Champagne This Year! Not That Sour Stuff from Last Time.” “Oh, Son, Just Don’t Let Everyone Get Tipsy!” She Laughed and Hugged Him. At Midnight We All Went Out to the Garden. Dad and My Brother Set Off Fireworks, Lizzie Squealed with Delight, and Mum Held Me Tight by the Shoulders. “Look, love, Isn’t It Beautiful?” She Whispered. “We Have Such a Lovely Life…” I Hugged Her Back. “The Best, Mum. The Very Best.” We Drank Champagne from the Bottle, Took Turns and Laughed When a Rocket Nearly Flew into the Neighbour’s Shed. Mum, a Little Tipsy, Danced in Her Wellies to “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” and Dad Lifted Her Up in His Arms. We All Laughed Till We Cried. On New Year’s Day We Just Lazed Around. Mum Made Dumplings and Pork Pie This Time. “Mum, Give It a Rest! We’re Already Like Little Balloons!” I Moaned. “You’ll Manage—New Year’s Goes on All Week!” She Waved Me Off. On the Second, She Was Up Early Again, as Always. I Heard the Door Slam, Looked Out—the Garden, and There She Was with Her Shovel, Clearing the Path. In Her Old Puffy Coat, Scarf Tied Around Her Head, Meticulously Clearing from the Gate to the Door—A Narrow, Straight Walkway. Piling the Snow Neatly Along the Wall, Just Like Always. I Shouted: “Mum, Why Are You Up So Early? You’ll Freeze!” She Turned, Gave the Shovel a Wave: “Otherwise You Lot Will Be Wading Through Snowdrifts until Spring! Put the Kettle On, Will You?” I Smiled and Headed for the Kitchen. She Came In Half an Hour Later, Cheeks Red, Eyes Bright. “All Done, Nice and Tidy,” She Said and Sat Down for Coffee. “Turned Out Well, Didn’t It?” “It Did, Mum. Thank You.” That Was the Last Time I Heard Her So Cheerful. On January Third, She Woke Up and Whispered, “Girls, My Chest Hurts a Bit. Not Too Bad, Just Uncomfortable.” I Was Worried Right Away, “Mum, Shall I Call the Ambulance?” “No, Don’t Fuss, Love. Just Overtired—All That Cooking and Running. I’ll Have a Lie Down, I’ll Be Fine.” She Lay on the Sofa, Me and Lizzie by Her Side. Dad Went to the Chemist for Tablets. She Was Still Joking, “Don’t Look So Dramatic! I’ll Outlive You All Yet.” Then Suddenly She Went Pale. Clutched Her Chest. “Oh… I Feel Awful… Too Awful…” We Called the Ambulance. I Held Her Hand, Whispered, “Mummy, Hold On, They’ll Be Here Soon, Everything Will Be Fine…” She Looked at Me and Managed to Say, “Love… I Love You All So Much… I Don’t Want to Say Goodbye.” The Paramedics Arrived Fast But… Nothing Could Be Done. A Massive Heart Attack. It All Happened in Minutes. I Sat on the Hall Floor Howling. I Couldn’t Believe It—Only Yesterday She Was Dancing under the Fireworks, Laughing, and Now… Barely Standing, I Went Out into the Garden. Snow Falling Softly. And There Were Her Footprints—Those Same Small, Neat, Regular Steps. From the Gate to the Door and Back. Just as She Used to Make. I Stood and Looked for a Long Time. Asked God, “How Can It Be That Yesterday Someone Walked the Earth, Leaving Her Tracks, and Today She’s Gone? The Footprints Remain, but She Is No Longer Here!” I Felt—Or Imagined—That On the Second of January, She’d Gone Out for the Last Time—To Leave Us a Clean Path. So We Could Walk Down It Without Her. I Didn’t Brush the Tracks Away. Told Everyone Not To. Let Them Stay Until the Snow Covers Them for Good. That Was the Last Thing Mum Did for Us. Her Everyday Care Was Still There, Even After She Was Gone. A Week Later, the Snow Fell Heavy and Deep. I Keep That Photo—Her Last Footprints—Safe. Every Third of January, I Look at It Again and Stare at the bare Garden Path. And It Hurts So Much to Know: Somewhere Under All That Snow, She Left Her Very Last Steps. The Ones I’m Still Following After Her…
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