Today was another day full of tension, and I felt compelled to write it all down maybe in hopes that my thoughts will become clearer through the process.
Ive long advised you to stop at three children. I even went as far as buying you those special pills, hoping youd reconsider what youre doing. But clearly, my efforts were all for naught.
How many children do you plan on having? my mother-in-law, Margaret, asked me, dripping with sarcasm.
Lets not resort to sarcasm, please, I replied as calmly as I could manage. Are you really this upset because Peter told you I was pregnant?
Of course I am! she barked back. I told you to stop after your third. I even got you those special pills because I wanted you to think twice before bringing another baby into this world. But clearly, my efforts have been wasted, she complained.
We understand your perspective, but we dont want to go against nature, I answered, trying to sound diplomatic and avoid stirring up more drama.
Are you mocking me? Well, dont expect any more help from me! she shouted.
I was just about to respond when suddenly my phone rang, punctuating the awkward moment.
Margaret has never really supported her grandchildren. She never takes them out or spends time with them, and only brings gifts and sweets on their birthdays out of duty, not affection. Financially, Peter and I are completely independent. When I was pregnant with our third child, she actually insisted that I terminate the pregnancy, but we refused. Eventually, though, Margaret did warm to her granddaughter. Now that Im expecting again, here we are, repeating the same old argument.
I do my best not to let my strained relationship with Margaret bleed into my interactions with Peter as long as the children and I are alright, thats what counts.
Peter has a good job and I work part time from home. As my business started growing, I was even able to hire an assistant to help with the children. Life would be peaceful if it werent for Margarets attitude. From the very beginning, she didnt approve of me and hoped Peter would divorce me one day. But those hopes faded as the children came, one after another.
From my point of view, Margaret objects to the arrival of our fourth child because it means that Peters finances will be invested in our family, not in supporting her as shes accustomed. Hes always paid for her dental appointments, sent her off to spas, and even renovated her house regularly. She feels shes about to lose everything. No more financial lifelines. The idea that she might have to forgo some of her luxuries fills her with fury.
I try to ignore her constant negativity, but Id be lying if I said it didnt affect my mood. All the same, its highly unlikely that Margaret could sway our decision Peter and I have already chosen. Were having our fourth child, and nothing she says will change that.
I sometimes wonder how do you deal with a mother-in-law who interferes so deeply in her childrens lives? I just want peace and happiness for our growing family, but it feels like the drama will never end.
