Oh, so hes already making a move on you? Maybe youre just imagining it? Maybe its accidental?
Mum, what imagining? I thought James would end up an orphan after this Hes literally a head taller than me!
You know, men dont just raise their hands for nothing Youve been fiery since you were a kid. If somethings wrong, youll see it through to the bitter end.
Emily freezes at her mothers words. She expects protection, outrage, at least a hint of sympathy, but gets none of that. It feels as if shes being blamed. And if, God forbid, things really go downhill, would her mother also point the finger at her?
How can I not be fiery when hes always calling me bunny and kitty? Ive heard those nicknames from him for three years straight! Emily snaps.
Right. Were even shouting at mum now, Susan replies with a trace of irritation. Listen, dear, a threat isnt a strike. He doesnt drink, doesnt stay out late, works. He just has a strong character. They all do, and so do you. Have you ever had a better man? Think carefully before you do anything rash
Thanks, Mum, thats enough, Emily says, hanging up.
Physical abuse, betrayal and lies are things Emily can never accept, especially in marriage. James has the whole package. Emily has already decided not to back down, but shes puzzled by her mothers reaction, as if Emily were complaining about a delayed grocery order. That doesnt sit right with her, though shes missed a lot before.
Susan Whitfield has a strange habit of changing shoes midjump, turning around as if shes doing a little dance. She tells people one thing to the face and another behind their backs. Her smile is sugary and mischievous, yet her gaze often turns icy and calculating.
Oh, what a cute dress, it fits you perfectly, she says when little Emily tries on a frock in a shop on Oxford Street.
Then Susan eyes the price tag, raises an eyebrow in surprise, and instantly changes her opinion.
Actually, with your legs they look a bit short in that, she declares firmly. No, lets look at something else.
In the end they pick a cheap synthetic greybrownraspberry dress thats the wrong size but on sale, and Susan later boasts to her friends about the great bargain.
Some mums even sew custom gowns for the school prom in Year4! Susan complains over the phone to a neighbour. Theyve gone mental. Its a fortune for a oneoff occasion. I bought mine on clearance, cant feel sorry for it. Maybe Ill wear it somewhere later.
Emilys friends have similar stories. Emily goes to a friends birthday and brings a slice of cake. Oh, little Lily is such a good girl, her parents are proper, someone says. Lily wants to visit? Susan switches gears instantly.
Why would you let her in? Remember: no girlfriends over the house! she lectures Emily. Get used to that early. Girlfriends are like that: first they act all sweet, then they either gossip behind your back or try to steal your husband.
James gets the same treatment. At first Susan disapproves of Emilys choice.
Whats he even doing for you? He pops up then vanishes A decent bloke wouldnt act like that. I can feel it in my bones youre not his only one, Susan warns.
And Emily believes her. She has little experience, and her mothers authoritative voice drowns any inner doubt.
Emily tries to break up with James, but that only spurs him to press harder. He orders flowers to be delivered, then sushi a few times, and Susan finally melts.
You cant let a man like that slip away! she says, trying to spear up sushi with a fork. Maybe hes not perfect. Perfects are still puppies in the making. You dont want to end up alone with thirty cats, do you? So grab the bull by the horns and lock him down.
Emily, ever the dutiful daughter, listens to Susan. A mother wont give bad advice.
There were warning signs even then, aside from his sudden disappearances. Jamess mood swings wildly: one minute hes gentle and affectionate, the next hes dour and harsh. He gets jealous of Emilys friends, constantly critiques her clothes, and claims he likes short skirts and high heels.
Emily heeds her mother and, after six months, gets a stamp in her passport. The first months are honeysweet: romantic dinners, glossy selfies, daily surprises. Then things shift.
James stops asking what Emily wants. He checks her shopping lists and scolds her for every extra item, even hair dye. He practically bans her from wearing red lipstick, saying she looks like a loose woman with it.
Both work, but the house falls to Emily alone. James comes home early, but every time he meets Emily at the door he asks, Whats for dinner? After the meal he silently heads to his computer, leaving a mountain of dishes behind.
James, could you at least wash your plate? Emily finally musters.
What, you dont like looking after me?
Its fine, Im just exhausted.
Im tired too. I was at work all day.
Emily feels lost. Shes also slogging away, but James doesnt care. He shrugs, saying his own mother managed everything while raising several sons.
What did you expect when you got married? Susan asks when Emily complains about James. A woman has to keep everything ticking over. Families depend on us.
Emily disagrees, but when everyone around her shares the same view, she begins to wonder if somethings wrong with her.
Time rushes on. Emily has a baby, and the situation worsens. To friends they appear the perfect couple; alone they bicker over trivialities. James refuses to help with the child, convinced a father shouldnt be involved until the child is a year old. He retreats to another bedroom, claiming the babys crying keeps him up, and he needs to be fresh for work. Sometimes, when Emily wakes in the night, she finds James lying awake with his phone.
Emily tries to talk, but James shuts her out. He says bluntly, Your feelings are your problem; if somethings wrong with me, the doors that way. She speaks calmly, explaining her worries, saying shes fighting for their family, not attacking him.
You just have unrealistic expectations, Susan says when Emily confides again. What more do you want? He works, puts food on the table, you live in his flat
Emily still tries to convince herself that, objectively, things are fine, that every couple fights now and then.
Then she discovers Jamess messages on his phone. No explicit photos, but the tone is full of pet names bunnies, sunshine, kittens a whole zoo of affectionate greetings. The chats are flirtatious, though theres no solid proof of a physical affair. To Emily, its already betrayal.
She confronts James that very day.
Theyre just harmless banter, he says. Colleagues, acquaintances I just talk like that so its pleasant. It makes negotiations easier. Why are you getting worked up? You should trust me.
Trusting a husband with a virtual harem is hard.
The argument erupts into a fullblown fight. James points Emily to the door, even threatens to swing his arm. For Emily its unacceptable, yet she cant just walk away. She hopes for Susans help, but
Oh, its just a bit of texting just letters. He just needs attention, youve been at home with Tom all day, thats why hes looking elsewhere, Susan tries to calm Emily in a matteroffact tone.
Susan never changes her mind, even when Emily tells her how close she came to a disaster.
Emily has to fend for herself. Her friends rally: one hands over a spare flat key after moving out of her boyfriends place, another offers a cash loan, a third helps with the move. Within weeks Emily files for divorce and flees the house. Susans reaction surprises her.
Well, thats right! Hes a tyrant, Susan blurts out. I didnt like him from the start. Remember I told you decent men dont behave like that?
Emily blinks, bewildered. Susan had earlier warned her not to let him go, praised his caring side, then now calls him a tyrant.
Mum werent you the one who tried to stop the divorce?
I didnt know youd have anyone to help! Where would you have gone otherwise? she retorts, then sighs. Im old now, cant offer much. Being a single mum is tough, I know that well.
Emily finally sees that her mothers changing shoes isnt about being clever; its about doing whats easiest for herself. She bought cheap clothes for Emily, refused her friends visits, urged her not to divorce, all to keep Emily from returning to her own fathers house with a child.
Two years pass. Emily still talks to Susan, but she no longer shares her life or asks for advice. She stops visiting her mothers flat, and Susan stops inviting her over. Money and work are hard, but her mind feels lighter.
One day the phone rings.
Em Ive caught a nasty virus. No meds at home, no food. I could really use a bowl of soup maybe you could drop by for an hour?
Emily raises an eyebrow. Visiting a sick mother for an hour while she has a toddler? Sounds dubious.
Tell me what medicine you need and Ill order it, Emily replies.
Silence follows. Susan clearly hoped for a different answer.
I dont need any deliveries, Susan says, a hint of irritation. I just wanted to see you. Maybe these are my last days.
Mum Id love to help, but you were right about being a single mum its hard. Supplying meds and food is my duty, but being there requires trust. I dont trust you. Youre still the champion of changing shoes.
Susan sighs, mutters, but cant sway her daughter.
From then on Emily chooses her confidants very carefully and stops letting people fool her, even when she longs for it.
