Im 50 years old and Ive been living with my parents ever since I became a father. My son is now 20.
I have an older brother and a younger sister, both with homes of their own. My brother is a solicitor and my little sister is married, living with her husband. For years now, Ive had enough income to get my own place or even buy my dads house. I have tried, but for one reason or another, the paperwork always seems to fall through. My only condition, if I buy the house, is that it remains in his name until his last day, so he always feels secure I want him to know hell never be left unprotected. But nothing has been settled on that front yet.
My father is over 70 now. Hes very direct, sometimes even blunt. Its not that he doesnt want to do things as he used to, but age has caught up with him, as it does with us all. Hes been widowed for four years and still misses my mum dearly.
Both my son and I work. Together, we cover almost all the household expenses the bills, groceries, and the everyday things. When my dad gets his pension, he chips in a little, but hes grown quite frugal and a bit suspicious.
My older brother pops in to visit for about half an hour once every six months. My sister, who doesnt work, helps us out for a small bit of money by cooking and keeping Dad company while my son and I are at work.
Even when the food is ready, my dad wont eat unless we bring him his plate. He does very little around the house sometimes hell play with my dog, watch telly or online videos, or doze off. His biggest worries these days are running out of candles, both at home and for Mums grave, and of course my dog, his pampered granddaughter, who lies about on the bed with him when hes having a nap.
Sometimes I have a bit of a moan, especially when Im bearing almost all the costs for the house, the food, and the bills. Still, then I remember how lucky I am to still have my dad to take care of, to keep him company, to worry about him, to chat and laugh together, to see how much he adores my son and the dog. Hes given me everything since the day I was born; now its my turn to repay him with the same love and devotion hes always shown me with my time, my financial support, emotional care, and presence.
Some people suggest I should move out and get my own place, but I dont want to and I wont. Who would be there for my dad if something happened to him in the night or at any time? The thought of him sitting alone at home, surrounded by memories, breaks my heart or what if he went off to the corner shop and tripped in the street? Sometimes he does go out by himself but we always know where hes heading, and we keep an eye on him, accompany him to the GP, things like that. I couldnt bear the guilt or anxiety after all hes done for me.
However he is frugal, stubborn, sometimes grumpy, sometimes cheerful, other times despairing hes my dad. And more than anything, I owe to him (and to Mum) the person Ive become.
What will I leave to my son when Im gone? Ill leave him the knowledge of how to work, how to fight for what matters, his education, and I hope the example Ive set (hopefully the best I could give him). And, if things are sorted as I wish, maybe my fathers house too, as long as the arrangement stands: for as long as my dad is alive, its his home first, even if I end up paying for it.
