Emily, think a hundred times before you sign an abandonment form for a baby! Itll be too late afterwards.
I cant leave him, understand me, I just cant
All the staff at the Manchester Royal Maternity Unit watch the young mother anxiously. Its clear the decision weighs heavily on her, and they wonder how they might persuade her otherwise.
You see, my father raised me under a strict hand. Since I was a child hes been telling me never to bring a child into the family gutter. How could I tell him this has happened? He still believes Im still studying, still training for a profession. Ive been home for six months because of the pregnancy, and Ive been lying.
Life throws all sorts of things at us, hell shout, hell scold, but in the end hell accept the boy as his grandsona continuation of the line.
No, you dont know my father. Hes incredibly rigid If my mother were still alive, she would understand me.
Emily breaks down in tears. The babys father immediately declares hes washing his hands of it; he says he doesnt want the child. Emily clings to the belief that his feelings are genuine, which only makes the pain deeper. She decides against an abortion, and a healthy, chubby little boy is born.
Her mother dies when Emily is in Year6. Shes travelling with work colleagues when the car crashes. Everyone survives except Emily. Her life splits into before and after. Her father, now unmoored, channels all his bitterness and sense of lifes injustice into her.
Emily, listen, if you ever bring a scandal to the family Ill throw you out of the house. There will be no shame in our home, understand? Study, become a doctor, be a respectable person.
Dad, what scandal? Im still young, Im doing well at school, Im not disappointing you, so please dont yell at me.
She finishes school with a gold medal, gets a place at the University of Manchester Medical School just as her parents wanted. She comes home a few times a year. Her father prepares his signature roast potatoes and asks about her studies, always slipping in the gutter warning.
What he feared comes true. In her second year she meets a lad at a university dance. She doesnt realise it at first, but she falls in love; its her first boyfriend. She imagines herself walking down the aisle with him, her father beaming with pride at his clever, beautiful daughtertobebride. The dream shatters when the lad breaks off the relationship, and her wedding hopes drift away like dandelion fluff.
The birth is straightforward, but the young mother cant bear to look at the infant. She intends to sign the abandonment form. The moment she sees his tiny, wrinkled face, her heart falters. She has carried him inside her for nine months; now she must give him up.
Three other mothers with their babies share the ward. Emily turns away from the wall, refusing to watch them feed. She never nurses her own child, despite nurses urging her in hopes shell change her mind.
The form is signed. No pleading works. Emily gathers her belongings in a rush and leaves the hospital, clutching the papers. The midwives watch sorrowfully as they call the baby Andy.
Well, little one, youre on your own now. Your mothers gone. Who knows what fate awaits you? Most likely youll end up in a good homechildren like you get taken in quickly
Andy quiets, his little nose twitching as if listening. Nursery nurse Miss Hope gently coos and feeds the abandoned infant. She knows almost every child whos been relinquished. Occasionally a mother returns, but thats rare. At night Andy, perhaps sensing his abandonment, wails loudly, his cries echoing through the ward. He refuses the formula, sleeps only briefly, then wakes to cry again. By dawn he finally settles, becoming limp and indifferent.
Ah, child, you call out for a mother whos not there. She left, didnt want you.
During a ward round Emily bursts in.
Where is he? He hasnt been handed over yet? I want him back!
Emily, youre back? Thank heavens! Andys still with us, the paperwork isnt complete. Are you certain about your decision? This isnt a trifle.
No, Im absolutely sure! Hes my sonhow could I have left him!
She breaks down, sobbing.
I havent slept all night, hearing his cries in my head; my heart feels like it might burst. My little boy, all alone, without a mother Let me feed him, my milk is on the way.
They move Emily to a private room and bring Andy in. She presses him to her chest; he begins to gurgle loudly. The staff at the doorway smile, relieved. The babys fate is no longer abandonment; he is with his mother.
Emily tells the story to her father later. She admits she gave birth and left the child because of his pressure, that she cant live without the baby and now wants him back. He is shocked at first, then says he wants to see his grandson, calls her foolish, accuses her of keeping secrets, scolds her for abandoning the child.
She replies that all her life shes heard never have a child out of wedlock. Now shes confronting her father with the very child he feared. He even tears up with relief.
Fine, Ill take my son and well go see your grandfather. Ill give him his proper name and surname.
The whole maternity unit watches Emily and Andy walk out the window together, a fragile figure cradling her child. May God grant them happiness.
How often do parents frighten daughters from childhood with the line: If you bring a scandal on the family well throw you out! How many young women have terminated pregnancies or abandoned newborns because of such words? How many lives have been ruined? Moral lessons are important, but girls need to know that their parents love them and will accept them, no matter whatunmarried, pregnant, gutterbound or not.
May you be loved and happy.
