LIFE IN ORDER
“Maisie, I’m telling you for the last timestop talking to your sister and her family! They have their own lives, and we have ours. Did you ring Alice again? Did you complain about me? Ive warned you, so dont blame me if anything happens,” Jack snapped, grabbing my shoulder harder than necessary.
Like I usually did in those situations, I just left the room and wandered into the kitchen. Tears threatened to fall, stinging my eyes. Honestly, Id never complained to my sister about my life with Jack. We just chatted. Our parents were getting on, there was always something to discuss. Jack hated it. He absolutely loathed my sister Alice; her home was calm and comfortablethe polar opposite of ours.
Marrying Jack, Id thought I was the luckiest woman in England. He swept me off my feet, made me dizzy with his passion. Id never been bothered that he was shorter than me, or that his mum turned up to our wedding barely able to stand, slurring her words. I later learned she was a seasoned alcoholic.
Love blinded me to the bad bits, but after a year of marriage, that hopefulness had faded. Jack drank way too much, coming home half-soaked, sometimes not at all. Then the affairs started. I was working as a nurse at the local hospital, and the pay barely covered the bills, but Jack was more interested in drinking with his mates all day than in earning or providing.
At first, Id dreamed of having kids together, but after a while, my only soft spot was our pedigreed tomcat. The idea of having a baby with someone so lost to drinkwell, I couldnt stomach it anymore. Despite all that, part of me still loved Jack.
“Youre daft, Maisie! Just look around, men are queuing up to give you the time of day, but youre blinkered, stuck on that little runt! What do you see in him? Youre always covered in bruises from his mood swings. Do you really think nobodys noticed what youre hiding under all that make-up? Leave him before he kills you, before its too late,” my friend and colleague, Lucy, used to warn me.
Jacks temper would flare for no reason, and hed hit out when angry. Once he beat me so badly, I couldnt even make my shift at the hospital. Worse, he once locked me in the flat and took the key with him so I couldnt get out.
I became petrified of him. Every time he put the key in the door, my guts twisted with fear. I felt like I was being punished for not giving him a child, for being a let-down as a wife. So, I never fought back, even when he hurt me, called me vile names, or humiliated me. Why did I still care for him?
Jacks mumwho always put me in mind of some wicked old witchhad drilled it into me from the start: “Maisie, do what your husband says, love him with all your heart, and forget about your family and friends. Theyll only bring trouble.”
So I did what she said; I isolated myself, lost touch with my family, let Jack have full control. But, weird as it sounds, I liked it when hed cry and beg forgiveness, kneel before me and kiss my feet. Our make-ups were so intense, it almost felt magical. Sometimes hed scatter stolen rose petals over our bed. Id float for a while, convinced Id found heaventhough I knew hed pinched the flowers from his drinking buddys garden. The blokes wife doted over those roses, while the husband swapped them for pints at the pub, and we women forgave our menfor a moment or two.
Honestly, I probably would have gone on like that forever, patching together my little fantasy world after every heartbreakuntil fate intervened.
“Let Jack go. Ive had a son by him. Youre barren, Maisie, sorry,” an absolute stranger blurted out at me one afternoon, blunt as anything, swanning into my life demanding I give up my husband for her childs sake.
“I dont believe youjust leave, will you?” I shouted at the uninvited guest.
Jack denied everything, but I pushed, “Swear hes not your son!” He couldnt look me in the eye, and said nothing. That silence told me all I needed to know.
“Maisie, I dont think Ive ever seen you truly happy. Is something wrong?” The hospitals head physician, Dr. Henry Collins, had always seemed so distant, so wrapped up in his work. Then suddenly he was reaching out, taking an interest in me.
“Im fine, really,” I mumbled, embarrassed and eager to get away.
“Thats good. Lifes grand when everythings in order,” he said with a calm smile.
Dr. Collins was forty-two, a bit awkward lookingglasses, balding, rather short. He lived alone after a messy divorce; rumour had it his wife left him for another. But when he came close, there was something about himmaybe the musky aftershave, or just his quiet confidence. Id feel a kind of longing around him and it bothered me, so Id always find an excuse to leave the room.
His words stuck with me. “Lifes grand when everythings in order.” Such simple words, but they hit deep. My life was anything but. Time was marching on, and I couldnt just press pause to sort it all out.
Eventually, I left Jack and moved back in with my parents. Mum was surprised to see me. “Maisie love, whats happened? Did Jack throw you out?”
“No, Mum. Ill explain everything later,” I replied, too embarrassed to lay it all bare.
Not long after, Jacks mum called, swearing and screaming down the line, blaming me for everything. But I felt free for the first time in years. Thank you, Dr. Collins.
Jack threatened and harassed me, not knowing hed lost his grip. “Jack, dont waste your time chasing me; your son needs you now. My chapters finished. Goodbye,” I told him, completely calm at last.
Finally, I let myself go back to Alice and my family. For the first time, I wasnt a puppet on a string. My friend Lucy noticed straight away, “Maisie, I barely recognise youyou look younger, happier, absolutely blooming!”
And then, Dr. Collins asked me to marry him. “Maisie, lets get married. I promise you wont regret it. Just one thingcall me Henry, not Dr. Collins, at least when were not at work.”
“Do you even love me, Henry?” I asked, shocked by his proposal.
“Oh, sorry, I forgot you women need to hear it. Yes, I love you, Maisie. Im more about actions than words, but there you are,” he said, kissing my hand.
“I say yes, Henry. I believe Ill learn to love you too,” I replied, barely able to contain my excitement.
Ten years have flown by since then.
Every day, Henry proves his love. No empty gestures, no apologising on bended knee. He cares for me deeply, quietly, without fuss. Hes full of surprisesproper, generous, thoughtful ones. We never had kids of our own, turns out my body just wasnt made for it. But Henry never minded, never reproached me.
“Maisie, perhaps it was meant to be just us two, and thats just fine by me,” hed say whenever he saw me looking sad about not becoming a mum.
His daughter from his first marriage gave us a granddaughter, little Sophie. Shes become the light of our lives, spoilt to bits and utterly cherished.
And Jack? He drank himself into an early grave before he even hit fifty. On the odd occasion, Jacks mum spots me at the marketshe shoots daggers, fierce as ever. But her anger and spite wash right over me now. I almost feel sorry for her, but nothing more.
As for me and Henry? Were doing just fine. Life really is grand when things are in order.
