Living in Someone Else’s Flat? Then Pay Rent for the Privilege! – I don’t even know if my daughter’s wedding will go ahead. Everyone’s fallen out. And the future son-in-law is losing his mind. Just two weeks to the wedding and he’s acting up. I don’t know how it’ll end—it breaks my heart for my daughter,” complains Anne. – Why is everyone arguing? – You won’t believe it—it’s all because of the flat. We wanted to do something nice for the young couple, so we scraped together all our savings and bought a flat as a wedding present. We even had to sell our lake cottage and garage to make it work. The property’s registered in my daughter’s name. But they’re getting married, so whose name does it matter? – Exactly… – That’s what my husband and I think, too. The flat, of course, is “bare”—it needs renovation and furnishing, but we’ve got no savings left. My husband told the son-in-law we should all pitch in together to renovate so they could move in as soon as possible. But the son-in-law doesn’t want to help with the renovation! – Why not? – Because, he says, it’s not his property. He doesn’t want to invest in a place that isn’t his. He said we could do the work ourselves. He’s willing to buy a few small things, but he refuses to put in too much money. – Then maybe they should just move in as it is, without renovating. – That’s impossible—the flat is completely empty. Plus, the plumbing and electrics need replacing, the floors and walls need work. The old windows are about to fall out—we should change them, really. And at least finish the basics,” says Anne. Personally, I couldn’t live in those conditions, and I’m not that picky. How can young people start out in a dump like that? It’s embarrassing. My future son-in-law has a good job at a big company, but he’s being stingy. I think he wants to save for his own flat—he doesn’t want to end up homeless. – Turns out he wants us to foot the whole bill. He demands we pay for the renovation. So I told him: if you think you’re living in someone else’s property, then you can pay rent! He just smiled and agreed,” Anne sighs. – How does your daughter feel about this? – She’s very upset and cries all the time. She loves him, but we can’t put the flat in his name as well. Now she says she doesn’t need the flat or the renovation. But I don’t like that the man isn’t willing to invest anything in his own family. What happens next? They’re not even married yet, and they’re already talking about divorce and splitting assets,” says Anne. Do you think my future son-in-law should invest in the flat? He plans to live there, raise kids, settle down. Does it really matter whose name is on the deed? Or is his position actually reasonable? What would you do in his place?

Can you believe it, Jane, I honestly just dont know if my daughters wedding will even go ahead at this point. The arguments have got out of hand, and her fiancé is playing up something rotten. Weve only got a fortnight until the big day, and now hes all over the place. I feel so awful for her.

You want to know what theyre all fighting about? You honestly wouldnt guess its all because of the flat! We wanted to do something special for the kids, so we pooled absolutely all our savings together, even sold our little holiday cottage in the Lake District and Dads old shed just so wed have enough. We bought them a flat as a wedding gift. We put the deed in our daughter Emilys name. I mean, theyre getting married, so whats the difference, right?

Thats what we thought, anyway. The catch is, the flat is completely bare like, not even a lightbulb. Theres a heap of work to do: decorating, sorting the electrics, doing up the bathroom, actually furnishing the place and of course, after buying it were totally skint. My husband said to the future son-in-law, look, lets roll our sleeves up and get it sorted together so you two can move in properly. And would you believe it, hes refusing to take part in any of it!

He says he wont spend a penny fixing up a flat that ‘isnt his’. He says unless his names on the deeds, hes happy for us to do all the work and hell just buy a few odds and ends, but no way is he forking out proper money.

So I told him maybe they should just move in as it is, without the refurb. But thats the thing you couldnt live in it. Its absolutely empty, and it needs new plumbing, electricity sorted, the floors and walls need proper sorting, even the windows are past it. You couldnt ask anyone to live like that, even someone who isnt fussy like me. But he just wants to save up for a different flat one thats his. Doesnt want to be left on the street if things dont work out, apparently.

I said, So, youre happy for us to pay for everything and youll just move in? He reckons if its not his, then we should do all of it. So I said, alright, but if you think its that simple, then youd better pay rent. And fair play, he just smiled and agreed!

Emilys absolutely beside herself, bless her. She really loves him, but we cant just put his name down too. Now she says she doesnt even want a flat, or any of it. It just gets to me, you know if he wont put anything into the flat or the family now, what hope is there? Theyre not even married and already worrying about divorce and splitting the assets… What does the future hold?

Honestly, what would you do in my place? Hes going to live there, raise a family there, settle in, so does it really matter whose names officially on the paperwork? Or is he being sensible, do you think? I cant decide for the life of me.