Loneliness
The lady at the shop orders a coffee, the rider proposes marriage, and she turns it down. Better a single life than a freeofcharge service that lasts a few years.
Whats wrong with being on your own, Poppy? the rider says. A man shouldnt be alone, and a woman should always have a man. Otherwise it feels off and nobody will ever notice you. You know what loneliness is, dont you?
Whats that? Poppy replies, annoyed by his endless chatter.
Loneliness is a nightmare! the sister, Lucy, laughs, not noticing the awkward silence. Its like when you want to give water to someone and the kids just run away!
Where? Poppy asks, flustered.
Where where in Carlisle! Lucy finally understands that Lucys laugh is not meant for her, and she sways away. Youll have to keep everything together, while Im watching over you. One thing is heavy, another is a light soul. Lets get acquainted, shall we? Poppy, the man is decent. But theres always someone who wont stay and runs off quickly.
Poppy has been single for about ten years. Kostik, the wellmeaning bloke she calls my blessing, appears a decade after he first showed up out of the blue. He arrived once, and then mainly. When Poppy learns about this, she tells her husband to move into a spare room, then to a spare bedroom as well. Though the husband tries to convince her that one night is enough and nothing strange happens unless something does, pounding his fists on the table and shedding rare masculine tears, Poppy remains unmoved. A separation follows.
When the husband behaves politely, he leaves the spare room to his exwife and two children on the benefits. The kids grow up and scatter. The son lives and works in Bristol. The daughter soon marries and moves abroad with her husband. Poppy stays alone in a cramped twobed flat in central Manchester.
Living alone does not embarrass her. She lands a decent job, a good profession and a salary that lets her live comfortably, taking in children and Lucy for tea. Though she isnt the brightest, she always finds something to occupy herself and never gets bored. She reads a lot, swims, attends yoga, loves traveling, and sometimes joins a hiking club with friends. Overall she lives contentedly.
Until the day Lucy decides to settle her fate
Listen to me, Poppy. A decent man, not yet settled, sixtyone years old. Youve been apart for seven years. A large house, a good farm, the land is fertile. Cattle, sheep, pigs, goatsnothing missing! Thats healthy food, milk, eggs, meat. Youll live to a hundred, darling! And the man is charming, educated, and reads a lot Poppy, just give it a try. Lets get acquainted, okay? Lucy says at the meeting, while Poppy hesitates.
Fine, Lucy, meet my neighbour the farmer. Thats it. But I promised nothing, Poppy replies.
Business doesnt change, as they say. Lucy doesnt put the matter into a longterm drawer, but quickly arranges a meeting between Poppy and the rider.
The rider turns out to be nothing spectacular. Stout, muscular, dressed neatly and well. Hands rough, nails clean, eyes sharp. He speaks slowly but clearly, never bragging. He jokes, makes Lucy laugh, and his name sounds solidJames.
After the first encounter they chat, then Lucy keeps an eye on James. She thinks that perhaps a proper sister is needed, and James is keen on a partnership. He suggests a quick marriage, promising to help with the farm. The workers are good. If you want something done right, do it yourself. Youll be a wife, dont miss your chance, everything will fall into place. Well need womens handsmilking cows, caring for goats, collecting eggs. And the house will be yours! Ill take care of the meat, the milk, the eggs. A proper farm needs a proper wife. He adds that the spring is near, sowing should start, and the cattle are waiting.
Poppy returns home and ponders. What does she need? She has a modest garden in the city, a profitable job, a small cottage where she can plant in summer and roll on a hammock in winter. She even bought a used car eight years ago. She wonders why she should go to the farm to clean pigsties, milk cows, and chop hay for geese when she already has so much to managecooking for her husband, shopping, looking after the house, keeping it tidy. Of course the income from the farm would be good, but she already lives well. She will get a pension, she can afford a bit of extra spending, and there are savings as well.
All that is necessary for a comfortable life is already there. Yet the idea of bending over in a field for ten years, planting a carrot patch, and hauling a load up two floorsdoes she really need it? Evening comes and she calls Lucy.
Lucy, dont be upset. Ill politely decline Jamess proposal. Maybe some men are hardworking, but I dont need that. He didnt even ask properly. He isnt just looking for a wife; he wants work. Id rather stay single. And at the farm, theyre offering water, not wine; not everyone wants to drink that, she says.
Lucy sighs, a little tear slipping down. Influenced by the promise that a sister will always be there, she decides not to look for more men. She promises herself not to chase after unsuitable partners.
Poppy texts James, saying she doesnt want to meet any more, that her wishes have changed and nothing will benefit him. James calls a few days later, then stops. He seemed smart enough. Poppy wakes at eight in the morning, makes a brew, washes up, and sits down for a coffee with a biscuit. She looks out the window, remembering she hasnt seen her children for a while; she should visit her son and arrange a birthday for her daughter. She also needs to buy a bag for that heavy winter coat and call little Lena for a meeting.
She thinks that everything can be fine without being overly selfish. Sometimes a little selfishness is healthy. She decides to keep living as she does, content with her own choices.
