Squeeze Up, Well Just Live Here for About Ten Years
Mother-in-law grew quiet for a moment, then declared,
Oh, Emily, Valeries an awfully determined woman Once shes set an idea in her head, thats that.
You have to understand her: she wants to make sure Alice gets an education
At my expense? Emily stopped in front of the mirror.
A pale woman gazed back at her, hair wild, eyes ringed and tired.
Mrs. Thompson, please stop them. Have them get off at the next station and turn back. I wont meet them. Im not giving up my flat.
How could I stop them? the mother-in-law wailed. Theyre already on their way. Valeries taken out a loan for the university, and they havent a penny left for lodging.
She really hoped youd help out. Emily, do ask your tenants to go, would it really be so hard? Bloods thicker, after all
Blood? Emily almost laughed. Ive met your niece Alice twice in my life. You want me to throw people on the street, take away support from my parents, and cancel my daughters activities, all because your sister decided so?
Her phone pinged. Without taking off her coat, Emily fished it from her pocket. It was a message from Valerie, her mother-in-laws sister.
Hi Emily! Were on the train already. Got tickets for 19:40, well be at Kings Cross in the morning. Meet us with Alice.
Send your one-bed flats address, we forgot to write it down. Where do we get the keys?
Emily froze. She read the message three times, hoping for some mistake. What flat? Which Alice?
Mum, whats up with you? Katie poked her head in from the hall. Im hungry.
Coming, kitten, Emily murmured, stroking her daughters hair without looking away from her phone.
She rang Valerie. The call was answered instantly; train wheels clacked in the background, mingled with wild laughter.
Hello, Emily! Valerie trilled, her tone unnaturally cheery. Did you get our note? Its a surprise so you wouldnt fuss about cookingwell sort ourselves out!
Valerie, wait, Emily interrupted, I dont understand. Where are you going?
What do you mean? To London! Alice got in, remember? Didnt get a free place, but shell manage on a paid course.
Weve packed up and were coming to settle in your flat.
In my what? The one Ive let out for six years? Valerie, have you lost your mind?
Oh, come off it! Valeries tone abruptly hardened. Six years ago, when your grandmother left you that flat, remember at the dinner table? I said, Well, Alicell have somewhere to live when she studies, and you said nothing, so you agreed, didnt you? Weve counted on that all this time.
I kept quiet because it was a daft joke! Emily almost shouted. I never planned to let anyone live there.
Its let out to a family with a child. We have a contract. They pay on time. My parents use that for medicine, and Katie takes dance and swimming lessons with whats left.
Did you ever stop to think before you bought those tickets?
We thought we were family! Valerie snapped. Or are all Londoners this selfish?
You want to leave your own niece at the station? Have you told your husband? Does he know youre chucking his relatives on the street?
My husbands on business near Newcastle, reception comes and goes. Besides, its my flat, Valerie.
Mine. Bought by my grandma, left to me. James has nothing to do with it.
Oh, thats how it is! Hear that, Alice? Your uncles wife wants no part of us! Never mindwhen we arrive, well sort it out.
Signals dodgy, see you on the platform tomorrow.
A flat beeping cut the call. Emily was stunned.
Katie, go to the kitchentheres a baked pudding in the fridge. Warm it up yourself, she called, then dialed her mother-in-laws number with shaky hands.
Mrs. Thompson didnt pick up at first.
Yes, Emily, love, what is it?
Did you know your sister and niece are coming to London to take over my flat?
Well Valerie mentioned something… I thought you two had sorted it, the mother-in-law hedged.
Sorted what, exactly? Emily began pacing the corridor. Ive let that flat for six years. Half the rent pays for my parents medicineyou know how tight their state pension is.
The rest is for Katies clubs.
Why didnt you tell them it was impossible?
Dont shout, her mother-in-law started to complain. Its nothing to do with me. Sort it out yourselves.
Just dont upset James; hes got important meetings, hes on edge already.
Emily tossed her phone on the sofa. James had always kept out of family scuffles, but if it involved his mum or aunt, hed become strangely compliant.
Well, Em, theyre from the countryside; its just different for them, hed often say. Easier just to give in
She rang her husband. Out of service. Of course. Whenever she needed him, he was always out of service.
***
The fallout was epic. At five in the morning, Valerie began ringing, demanding Emily fetch them right now.
Were tired! And hungry! Its freezing here, were chilled through. Still asleep, are you? Up you get! Be here in fifteen minutes!
Half-awake, Emily barely recognized the voice, then snapped:
Leave me alone! Im not coming! Im not letting you into my flat! GoodbyeIve had enough.
After the tenth call, Emily put Valeries number on the blocklist.
Valerie switched to her daughters mobile, so Emily blocked that too.
All day, Mrs. Thompson pestered Emily with calls and messagesbegging, cajoling, threatening to fall out and tell her son everything…
That evening, James himself unexpectedly turned up, returning early from business.
Em, what happened? he asked as soon as he closed the front door. Mum called, sobbingsaid youd chucked Aunt Valerie on the street.
After hugging her husband, Emily explained:
They showed up unannounced. Immediately ordered me to evict my tenants and let Alice live there for free, at least five years.
James, who does that? They didnt even try to find other optionsthey just assumed my flat was theirs.
Far as I know, theyve nicely moved in with your mum.
What are you doing here?
Mum begged meplus Aunt Valeries been blowing up my phone.
Emily, cant we just let them stay, at least til they find a proper hostel?
Emily shook her head.
No hostel is coming, James. They didnt even bother applying; Valerie already thought they had a flat lined up. Mine.
Can you even grasp the sheer cheek of it? They didnt look for optionsthey were just travelling to their one-bedroom.
Mum says you promised years back
I said nothing, James. It was at the wake. I let the nonsense gohad bigger worries.
Aunt Valeries livid. Swears we no longer exist for her. Oh, by the waythey arent staying at Mumstoo far from the college.
I sent Valerie four hundred quidtheyve found a room
Thank heavens for that! Emily clapped the table. Best news all day. And Im not even going to argue over the cash.
Let them sort themselves out.
James sighed, eyes downcast.
Em, its some grotty bedsit in a shared house. Aunt Valerie says its crawling with pests and the neighbours are unsavoury.
Theyll have to get on with it. If you want life in the capital, you need to earn itnot wait for a handout from relatives you hardly know, and never even send a birthday card!
Emily turned on her heel, heading for the bedroom, James trailing behind.
Em, it feels so awkward! We really did leave them to it.
What if something happens? What if the neighbours are dangerous? Arent you the least bit sorry for Aunt Valerie?
Emily spun around:
James, I have a daughter and elderly parents who need me. I have a flat my grandma worked her fingers to the bone to buy.
I wont give it away just because someone a hundred miles off decided they wanted it more.
Why exactly should I be sorry?
Her husband said nothing, so she continued:
You hungry? Come on, Ill heat up dinner. And thats the end of it. If you want to help them, do it from your own salary.
But the flat stays let. Im not evicting anyone. Thats final.
Alright Youre right. I wouldnt be thrilled if your parents moved into my parents cottage saying, Squeeze up, well just live here a decade.
After dinner, with James in the shower, Emily checked her phone. An unread message from Mrs. Thompson lingered:
Emily, honestly! Valeries feeling poorly with nerves. At least bring them some groceries.
Plentyenough for a few weeks.
Make sure you get meat, veg, fruit, chocolates, coffee, tea, toiletries, olive oil.
Maybe some fish. Not tinnedValerie wont touch those. Address:
Emily blocked her mother-in-law too. Let her sit in the blocklist for a few days.
***
The night was mostly quietno calls from relatives.
But Valerie showed up at seven, knocking thunderously.
James slept soundly; it was Emily who had to answer.
From the doorstep, her mother-in-laws sister lashed out:
So, sleeping, all warm and cosy, are we?
Dont you even care how Alice and I spent the night?
Appalling, Ill tell you! Cockroaches rained down, the rooms freezing, floors like ice!
On one side someone sang Jerusalem till morning, on the other I thought thered be a fight.
Have you no shame? Would you really leave close family in such revolting conditions?
But, dear, I dont want to quarrel. Not going to evict your tenants? Fine! Alice and I will just move in with you!
Its a three-bed flatIll take whichever room suits, the two of us will only need the largest.
Dont worry, I wont stay long. Three, maybe four monthshalf a year, tops.
Then Ill move out once dear Alice is settled at university.
Emily stared in shock.
Just forget where I live. Lets not ruin our relationship for good.
Do you really need me to call the police? I will, if thats what it takes.
Why cause yourselves more trouble?
Valerie turned beetrootand Emily almost flinched.
You you May you get what you deserve, London snob!
Let your daughter scrub floors forever without an education!
Just wait, Ill get my own back.
The worlds round, and things have a way of sliding back!
Therell come a time youll need my help. Ill never forget this!
Emily simply slammed the door. Valerie screamed revenge on the stairs for several minutes, then stomped away.
***
The row with Valerie poisoned things with the mother-in-law. Mrs. Thompson no longer spoke to her daughter-in-law.
James still visited his mum, helped out, even brought Katie round, but Mrs. Thompson stayed clear of her sons home.
Emily was relieved, reallyone less headache.
