Last year, my mum did something unexpectedshe decided to sell us vegetables from her own garden. She insisted that since neither my husband nor I came round to help her, this was how things would be. She seemed to quickly forget who had paid for the water supply, the greenhouse, the labourers who dug everything over and helped her build the raised beds.
We could always buy fruit and veg cheaply from the supermarket anyway.
We never had a countryside cottage of our own. We grew up in town, and I doubt Dad ever even knew what potatoes looked like before they reached the shops. Mum, on the other hand, was raised in a village, so shed had her fill of gardens during her childhood and teens, and didnt much care to relive it. Hampers
While Dad was around, keeping ourselves fed with homegrown produce wasnt ever needed. He always made sure we had everything we needed, even when it should have been impossible. Mum worked too, of course, but it was Dad who carried the bulk of the financial load.
Nothing much had changed since then, either.
Until I was old enough to earn my own living, I helped out however I could. We shared expenses while living together. I only moved out when I got marriedjust two years ago now.
Last year, Mum retired and decided she wanted to buy a little plot with a small cottageshe was nostalgic for the days spent in her grandmothers great garden as a child. She withdrew her savings and bought it. In my opinion, its not the most comfortable place, but if it makes her happy, thats all that matters. Family games
Naturally, my husband and I had to chip in financially to help sort out the house and garden. We were doing well, so we could afford it. Not enough to build a manor, mind you, but enough that we could fix up the house, get running water to the plot and the cottage, and glaze the verandah.
We refused right from the start to become her labour force. Neither of us had any spare time or energy for gardening, and anyway, were both towniesdigging in the soil doesnt appeal. On our weekends, we prefer a lie-in, a day out with mates, or time together.
For ignoring Mums hard work, shed tell us off, but her lectures usually ended as soon as the next request for money came alongand there were plenty. The greenhouse needed putting up, then Mum wanted the raised beds built (Im not quite sure what the difference is), there was digging, some bushes needed clearing. We paid for it all, so Mum never had to lift a finger besides her own gardening.
Whenever she had a big shopping trip and couldnt carry it all, wed book her a taxi home instead of her struggling on the train and foot.
From time to time, Mum would go on about her gardening conquests, showing me photos of the lovely, colourful layoutshed got it all just so, an absolute marvel. I never showed much enthusiasm though, as its never really been my thing. And so it carried onuntil Mum sent me a photo of some strawberries.
These strawberries looked massive and perfectly red; I immediately remembered their taste and started to crave them. I asked Mum to save me a tub, and Id swing by after work. It never crossed my mind that shed send me pictures of different sized tubs along with the prices.
I actually read the message over, thinking I must have misread it or shed switched topics. I called to check if Id understood rightthat she expected me to pay for the strawberries shed grown herself. Yes, that was exactly it.
She said, What did you expect? I spend hours here, fussing over every plant to get them looking this good, while the pair of you sit at home and never once turn up to lend a hand! Why should I give you anything for free? If you dont work, you dont eat, she said, making her feelings perfectly clear.
I reminded her that, truthfully, we had done a lot to help set up that garden in the first place. Mum was outraged that I would even mention money for the help shed had: How can you speak to your mother that way? she barked.
Out of principle, I refused to buy food from my own mum. Let her sell it to someone else for profit. My husband and I will stick to the market or supermarketits not difficult these days. Mum then tried to sell us cucumbers and marrows, but of course, we turned her down.
Weve decided we wont be helping with the garden again, no matter how much she asks. If its a case of covering the bills, getting her medication, or something truly important for her health or wellbeingabsolutely. But for the sake of a garden, no chance!
