Emily, what about that flat? The one on the fourth floor?
Im surplus to requirements there! Emily confessed, her cheeks flaming with shame.
Then come to my place! a former schoolmate blurted out, unexpectedly.
Lily, Fish, is that you? an older bloke called out to Emily.
Its me, Fish! she replied, though shed been Emily Fisher for years after her divorce the surname of her exhusband. How did he know it?
And Im Sam Lawson! the stranger shouted cheerily. Dont recognize me? I spotted you instantly you havent changed a bit!
Mark, the bloke whod left his wife after their second child was born, claimed shed never given him room to grow. It was the roughandtumble 90s. Nobody talked about personal development; the internet was a novelty and life coaches were still a myth. Mark vanished, leaving Emily to raise two kids, one still an infant.
Her first thought was to end it all, but reason, thankfully, won out.
Her dad stepped in: the steelworks hed spent his life at had shut down, and he was laid off, turning from engineer into a fulltime nanny.
They scraped by, barely affording food. Emily worked as an English teacher at a secondary school and did tutoring on the side, but the alimony Mark sent was peanuts and everything else kept getting more expensive, inflationdriven.
When the younger child turned one, Emily started importing secondhand coats from abroad, easing the financial strain a little. Together they managed to pull the kids through school and for free, thank heavens!
The children grew up, found their own partners. The first, Maya, announced, Im pregnant, Mum! Youll be a grandma soon!
Cheers all round, as they say.
Everything was fine until Mayas husband dragged his sister into their tiny twobedroom flat a place Emilys own father had been allocated in the 70s when he worked at the plant. By then, their parents were long gone. Back then a modest tworoom flat was considered a palace, complete with a pantry and a balcony.
Now Emily had to share a bedroom with her son. Soon after, Serge, the other son, brought his girlfriend over, and they filed a tenancy application together.
All was supposed to be smooth and uplifting, but reality crashed in: there was nowhere for mum to sleep! While the girlfriend crashed on the sofa, the folding cot was equally at home in the kitchen and the pantry yes, the pantry!
Emily flatly refused to sleep in the kitchen; she considered it downright humiliating. So the pantry it was.
Just dont close the door and itll be fine, her son and daughter suggested, eyes shining with earnestness. Dont lock mum out, honestly!
After a few weeks of leaving the door ajar, Emily discovered her own belongings, tossed from a wardrobe, scattered in the pantry. That was the final nail she was officially relocated there.
By then Serge had married. You have to understand, Mum, we cant afford a separate room. Sorry
She tried to be helpful cooking, cleaning while they treated her like a ragdog in the pantry. The thought of being forever surrounded by jars and cardboard boxes was mortifying. She had raised a son and a daughter; there was no dignity in that.
Money was tight, too. She earned a modest salary teaching English, supplemented by a bit of tutoring, but it wasnt enough for a decent rented flat. The free pantry she already owned was as good as a spare room.
One afternoon, with a small bag containing her passport and paycard, Emily slipped out of the house and sat on the bench outside the block, hoping some brilliant idea might strike.
She had no lessons the next day, so she could linger until the carrots in the market wilted.
Lily, Fish, is that you? the same older bloke called again.
Its me, Fish! Emily answered, still carrying the exhusbands surname. How do you know?
Im Sam Lawson! Didnt recognise you? I saw you the moment I walked in you havent changed a hair!
Emily smiled wryly. Well, youre not wrong I havent changed at all, except maybe a few wrinkles.
Time, that relentless doctor and terrible cosmetician, had done its work. The class heartthrob from school had become a balding, plump, elderly gentleman, and Emily wasnt any better off.
It must have been twentyodd years since theyd last met. Back then, at a school reunion, you could still spot everyone.
She remembered being smitten with him at school; even invited him to the proms slow dance. Hed married a daughter of a powerful party official a careerdriven nightmare.
Why are you standing here? Its freezing! Dont catch your death of cold, Alex, his nickname, joked, making her giggle then.
Their former school friend, now a bit frail, muttered about how benches were for the dead, not the living.
What are you doing in this neighbourhood? Emily asked. You moved, didnt you?
Just dropping in on my grandkids they still live in my old flat! Im heading home now. You? Still in the same fourthfloor flat?
They decided to go together, reminisce about school and that prom slow dance.
Did you ever remember him? the old lady asked, puzzled.
Who? Emily replied, exasperated. Youre the one who started dating that monkey!
No, I mean you disappeared after school.
I disappeared? I just left because you started dating that monkey! I withdrew myself!
Dont mix up cause and effect, Fish you withdrew first, then I started dating the monkey, Sam corrected, chuckling. So where are you heading?
Emily simply said, Nowhere. and burst into tears.
How can nowhere be a place? You dont have a home? the suitor asked, bewildered.
It seems I dont, she whispered.
What about that flat on the fourth floor?
Im surplus there, she admitted again, cheeks burning.
Then come to my flat! the former classmate shouted, out of the blue.
But the monkey what about your wife? Emily asked, halfjoking, halfserious the idea of a random woman being dragged home was absurd.
Weve been divorced from the monkey ages ago! Come on, lift your spirits! I wont chase you, I promise.
Besides, Ive long since finished my viagra phase. Youll sleep peacefully now.
He offered his hand, helped her up from the bench, and said, Ready to go? My cars just around the corner.
They took off.
The exclassmates flat turned out to be surprisingly cosy, and Sam didnt lie he truly didnt pester her.
Only for the first two months. Then he proposed Will you marry me?
At fiftythree, who cares? Hed always liked a lively laugh, and Emilys giggle was his favourite sound. Their slow dance in memory was now a lifelong memory.
Emily consented to the charming realtorlike proposal; who could refuse?
All this time, the children never called their mother even once. At first she waited anxiously, then simply waited, then shifted her focus to wedding plans and family life.
She decided not to tell the kids about the marriage. No grand ceremony was organised; they just met for tea with the witnesses, four of them, so the absence of relatives could be explained.
Later Emily deleted her sons and daughters numbers from her phone. If you havent thought of me in all that time, Im not really needed, she mused, echoing the minimalist advice of modern lifecoaches.
Treat people the same way: a mother had become the unnecessary thing in her childrens lives.
And if thats so, they dont need her either. Harsh? Yes. Fair? Also yes.
Eight months after she left the house, the long New Years holidays approached, and Emily and Sam went shopping together.
Suddenly a shrill Mum! rang out and their daughter lunged at Emilys neck, while their son clapped joyfully nearby.
They hugged, and Emily asked, Why the strange company?
Because the brother and sister had never shopped together before either solo or with partners.
Were always together now, Serge, the son, explained, blushing.
Turns out both of them were divorced!
Already? Thats swift! Emily exclaimed. Why?
Just because, Serge shrugged. When you say swift, youve hit the nail on the head they woke us up early!
Theyd arrived at an odd hour and caught their respective spouses together Mayas husband and Serges wife in a rather compromised situation, hinting at a longstanding carrot love affair.
When will you be back, Mum? the smiling son asked. Well finally have everything sorted!
He added, Where have you been? We missed you!
Why did you realise it now? a random bloke, standing with a newly plumpedup mother, interjected. You were going to be gone for years so Lily wouldnt recognise you!
Whats it to you? Serge snapped. Stay out of Lilys business.
He repeated, When will you return?
Yes, the daughter chimed, or else Serge wont lift a finger around the house, can you imagine? Im practically drowning with a baby!
She tried a joke: Youve raised a decent son!
The joke fell flat. The same obnoxious bloke said, Show your teaching skills and try to reeducate the little goat, otherwise were all masters of criticism!
Who are you, anyway? the daughter demanded.
Im the husband in the drab coat! the man replied, proudly showing off his rather drab coat.
Emily, for once, wore something new; previously all money went on the kids clothes.
What husband? the kids asked in chorus.
Just an ordinary bloke, a bit vulgar, the boorish fellow quipped. Thats why mum wont be coming back. She now has her own life!
Dont you want to be a grandma? Maya asked hopefully.
Lily wants to be a wife thats much nicer! Why would I sleep with a grandma? the man joked, then added, Well, its been nice meeting you. Were off now!
What about us? Serge asked quietly.
Youll probably go too, the mothers husband replied with a hint of sarcasm.
Throughout all this, Emily never tried to interject; she merely smiled with the corners of her mouth.
The man took Emily by the arm and said, Ready to go?
And they went. The bewildered children just stood there, mouths open.
When Emily and Sam finished shopping and headed home, the husband asked, Hows the spacesuit fitting? Enough air?
Both knew exactly what he meant. Alex, your name means defender, right? Youre living up to it.
He truly was a defender. Could anyone suffocate from love? No one had ever loved her like that before.
Emily thought she finally had a perfectly sized spacesuit ready for launch into the cosmos. It was never too late!
Shall we?
And they took off.
