“Mother, I forgive you!”
My mother, Anne Parker, lay still. One quiet evening she called me softly.
Eleanor, my dear, I’m dying. It’s time I told you everything. I’m afraid I don’t have much left. Forgive me, my child!
Mother, don’t say that! I’ll call an ambulance right now!
No ambulance, Eleanor. Just listen to me!
She began her tale:
“It happened many years ago, love. I had a friend, Mabel. We both grew up in the county orphanage. We became close there, then went on to the teacher training college together. After we graduated, we were both posted to a village school.
We were assigned different lodgings: they put me in the empty cottage behind the school, and Mabel with an elderly couple down the lane. All our free time we spent together. We used to go to the village hall for dances with the accordionist. He was a handsome lad, darkeyed and charming. The moment I saw him I knew he was the one I’d been waiting for all my life. His name was William.
Mabel and I would race to the hall every weekend. I never could take my eyes off William, listening to his heartfelt tunes. My heart would flutter whenever his glance brushed over me. Then I noticed he was constantly looking at Mabel, smiling at her, and she seemed to blossom under his attention. I realised William preferred the shy, unassuming Mabel.
I tried countless times to catch his eye, but he never saw me. I burned with jealousy and hatred. I despised Mabel with a ferocity Id never felt before. She glowed with happiness, oblivious to my raging loathing. One day she rushed to me, beaming, and whispered:
Anne, William and I are getting married soon.
I understood that my world was ending. Despair crushed me. I stopped eating and sleeping, and the only thought in my head was that William had to be mine. I would have done anything for it. I heard from the locals that a witch named Maggie lived in the neighbouring hamlet, so I went to her for help.
I know why you’ve come, the old woman said.
At first I was terrified, but thinking of William gave me courage to ask for dark deeds. Maggie brewed a love potion, poured it into a bottle and handed it to me.
Slip it into his drink, she warned.
I tried to give her money, but she burst out laughing:
I need no coin from you. You’ll learn what I want later. Go now.
That evening Mabel and William visited me. It was the perfect moment. I set the table quickly, slipped the potion into William’s glass. He drank it and seemed to change. Mabel, sensing something was wrong, whisked him home. The next morning William stood at my doorstep, insisting he belonged only with me. The witch had not deceived me I had my William! We married soon after and lived happily. William poured his soul into me, and I could not breathe without him. You may ask, what of Mabel?
She avoided us, but we still had to cross paths. I still see her sorrowful face and tearfilled eyes. The old couple where she stayed spat at me, calling me a witch. Rumours spread through the village that Mabel had become pregnant by William and had tried to end her own life. I felt sorry for her, but I loved my husband more than anything.
One day an old man named John, whose wife Martha cared for Mabel, knocked on our door.
Come with me, the man ordered.
Why? I asked.
Your friend is dying. She calls for you, John replied.
He looked at me, and I silently followed him. In the couples cottage a child wept. On the bed lay Mabel, pale and barely breathing. My heart clenched painfully; I wanted to turn away. At that instant Mabel opened her eyes and whispered:
Anne, I’m dying. Take my daughter, please. Let Eleanor have a proper mother she reached out for me, but her hand fell limp.
Poor thing, bless her, the elders muttered.
Grandma Martha wailed loudly and thrust a shrieking bundle into my hands. It was you, my child. I did not want to take you, but John growled:
I’d never have left a child to you! Yet the wish of the departed Mabel must be fulfilled. She was a good soul; may Heaven receive her. Take the girl and go home! And God forbid you ever hurt her!
So you appeared in my life. Your father was angry that I took you in. Your endless crying irritated him, and me as well. William changed, took to drinking, often spent nights away. My happy life crumbled before my eyes and I could do nothing. Daughter, you cannot imagine how much I came to hate you!
I had dreamed of having my own child, and then you fell into my lap. After a while I discovered I was pregnant. When William learned this, he gave up his drinking and began to hope for a son. It seemed happiness had returned to our home. A few days before the birth, I had a nightmare. I was in a forest clearing, a hideous creature stared at me, its paws covered in thick black fur.
Recognise me? I’ve come to claim what’s mine, the beast said in Maggies voice.
I woke screaming in agony, and by evening I delivered a stillborn boy. Your father, grief-stricken, took to the bottle again and soon died, frozen in the snow. John and Martha followed shortly after. I was left alone with you in the whole white world. Eleanor, you became the meaning of my sinful life; I could not picture a day without you.
You grew up, looking just like your mother. I kept trying to tell you the truth and ask for forgiveness, but never managed. You married, gave me a wonderful grandson. Now I have no time left to postpone this heavy conversation, and I am terrified to leave this world bearing such a burden,” the woman paused, her voice trembling.
I’m to blame for my parents’ deaths. Will you forgive me, my child? My sin is great before God and before you.
Eleanor shivered with nervous tremors. Tears streamed down the young woman’s face. She gathered every ounce of strength, embraced the woman who looked at her with pleading eyes, and whispered:
Mother, I forgive you.
Anne Parker passed away that night in her sleep, a faint smile frozen on her lips.
