Everyone else seems to have married a delightful woman, and somehow, I ended up with a prize idiot.
She was forever boasting to everyone that, post-wedding, wed be buying a flat without a hitch, what with all the envelopes from guests and a spot of help from the family. But in reality, her parents took one look at our plansnot to mention the fact that shed decided, at the wise old age of twenty, to marry a hopeless estate agent with no degreeand promptly said wed figure out the housing situation on our own. They actually laughed right in our faces. So, I carted her off to my parents place.
My brother already lives there with his pregnant girlfriend, so its cosier than a rabbit hutch. My parents dropped hintsthink subtle as a sledgehammerthat it might be time for us to get our own place, maybe rent a little flat. But Id decided we should save up for a deposit and buy a house down the line. My wife knew all about this plan, swore blind she desperately wanted her own place as well. So what did she do? Invested our entire savings in shares.
Why, you ask? Oh, because apparently, “thats the quickest way to grow our nest egg”.
My mum nearly fainted when I broke the news. My own hearts hardly recovered. The shares are plummeting faster than the temperature on a Bank Holiday, and theyre not exactly selling like hotcakes, either. So now weve either got to bite the bullet and sell at a loss, or cling on and pray the market eventually takes pity on us. Meanwhile, every single one of our friends seems to have a proper family home to their name, and were sat here with a pile of shares and nowhere to put them.
My wife is in floods of tears, full of regretapparently she paid someone for the pleasure of “teaching” her how to make these winning investments. And here I am, unable to get the thought of divorce out of my head. I suppose my love wasnt built to last if all I can think about is the small fortune I scrimped and saved for years, now blown to dust.
If you really think about it, our marriage was wobbling from day one, and this mess just confirms it: Im stuck in an endless streak of bad luck because I married a girl who wouldnt know common sense if it bit her on the ankle.
