My husband has a job, but I end up paying for absolutely everything.
Youre probably wondering how I ended up in this situation and how on earth I agreed to it, but honestly, all women who love are blind. I was blind too. All my life, I tried, I learned. My mum used to tell me from an early age that if I wanted a good life, I needed to work hard. She also said a woman should be strong and independent, so that she could always take care of herself if things went wrong.
It turns out that last bit of advice backfired on me. Whenever I dated guys, I acted way too independent and not many men wanted to go out with me. Back then, most men seemed to want a delicate woman to look after, someone they could feel strong around, feel masculine. But I always looked after myself.
Eventually, I just poured myself into work. I was single until I turned 35, and thats when I met Simon. Hes the same age as me. It was a shock that he was okay with my independence. I mean, he never pushed to do things for me, never insisted on helping if I said Id sort it out myself. No flowers, no silly sweet nothings whispered in my ear, which I could never stand anyway. With him, I felt like an equal partner. But honestly, it never dawned on me how much this so-called equality would really cost because, truthfully, it was never even equal.
We got married and he moved in with me. Simon didnt have his own place, lived with his mum, and there was no way I was going to live with a mother-in-law. I already knew too many bad stories about that and wanted none of it. The first month, Simon didnt give me a single pound from his wages, saying he had a small loan he needed to pay off from his mums surgery.
I didnt say anything, tried to be understanding. Were a family, after all let him pay off the loan, then well work it all out together. But it dragged on for seven months and he was still paying that loan off. He constantly said he wasnt paid enough, or theyd cut his hours, or some other excuse popped up. All the while, I paid for the shopping, bills, anything fun we did you name it, it was from my pocket. Then he started telling me he was saving up so we could buy a house in the countryside. Maybe for the holidays.
But after five years, I never saw a single bank statement. Were supposed to be a family, arent we? It all came to a head and I blew up at him. How is it possible Ive supported him for five whole years? Thats not normal. He packed his bags and went straight back to his mums, just like that. And then three days later, I couldnt take it anymore, so I went and brought him back. But nothing changed not once has he offered to pay for anything. Im just exhausted. I wish I could spend money on things a woman wants, little treats for myself, but Ive got nothing left every penny goes to the family.
What am I supposed to do now? Get a divorce? Will he ever change?
