My husband works, but I pay for everything.
People ask me how I ended up in this situation and why I ever agreed to it, but I always say that women in love are blind. I was blind, too. All my life, I tried and learned. My mum always told me that if I wanted a good life, Id have to work hard. She used to say that a woman should be strong and independent so she could stand on her own two feet if she needed to.
Clearly, that last piece of advice played a nasty trick on me. Whenever I dated, I acted too independent and most men werent interested in going out with me. Back then, men wanted someone gentle, someone they could look after, someone who made them feel manly and important. But I had always taken care of myself.
Eventually, I focused solely on my career. I stayed single until I was 35, and thats when I met David. Hes my age. I was genuinely shocked when he seemed fine with my independence. He never pushed me to accept his help if I said Id handle something myself. He never bought me flowers or whispered those sweet, meaningless words I couldnt stand. With him, I felt like I was an equal. I shouldve known how much this so-called equality would actually cost me it wasnt even true equality in the end.
We got married, and he moved into my flat. David didnt have a place of his own; hed always lived with his mother. I definitely didnt want to live with my mother-in-law. Id heard too many stories about that and none of them were appealing. For the first month, David didnt give me a penny from his wages, claiming he needed to pay off a small loan hed taken out for his mothers surgery.
I didnt say anything. I wanted to be understanding. Were a family, I thought let him pay down the loan, and then well work things out together. But after seven months, the debt still wasnt paid off. He kept telling me that his pay was too low, his hours had been cut, or something else altogether. All that time, I was the one paying for food, leisure, and all the bills. Then he started saying he was saving so we could buy ourselves a cottage in the countryside maybe for holidays.
But in five years, hes never shown me a single statement from his bank account. Were supposed to be family. Eventually, I argued with him. How could it be that Ive been supporting him for five years? This isnt normal. He packed his bags and went back to his mothers. Just like that. Three days later, unable to stand it, I brought him back home. And it was the same story, all over again. He wont give me even a penny towards anything. And Im truly exhausted. Id love to spend money on myself for once, on those little things women like to treat themselves to, but I have nothing left everything goes on the family. What should I do now? Get a divorce? Will he ever change?
