Im married to a man whose parents just cant seem to accept the fact that their son got divorced ages agoeven though its been over four years now. Theyre always trying to get him and his ex-wife back together. My husband and I, weve been married for three years and honestly, were happy. But my mother-in-law is convinced her son made a rash and foolish decision, and is determinedin every way possibleto patch things up with his former family. To her, her son still belongs there.
When I first met Adam, he was already divorced. Supposedly, it was all amicable. His ex-wife had happily remarriedprobably with a new love as the real reason behind their split, if Im being honest.
Sometimes I wonder if marrying him was a mistake. Adam told me his own mum pressured him into marrying his first wife when she fell pregnant. He wasnt even in love with her really, just dating at the time. If she hadnt got pregnant, he said, he never would have married her. Thats what Adam told me, plain and simple.
I was never scared of his ex-wife. At first, I really watched him closely, just to be sure. But it quickly became clear he didnt care at all about his old familytotally indifferent towards his ex. And she wasnt fussed about him either; shed moved on, remarried, and they only ever spoke about their son.
The problem is really Adams parents. They just cannot handle the situation. They still keep trying to bring the former family back together, and theyre really not fond of me or my relationship with Adam. His mum even asked me once, Youre both young, your whole lives are ahead of you. Why get involved with someone elses broken family? when we were alone.
I told her that if Adam was still married then, I wouldnt have even gone near the whole thingbut he wasnt; he was single. She wanted to keep arguing, but Adam walked in and she just stopped. Thats when I realised Id never have a good relationship with herand honestly, it didnt bother me too much.
After we married, Adam and I made our home together. We didnt keep in touch with his mum except for the occasional family get-together during the holidays. During those, I had to grin and bear her moaning about the old family, praising Adams ex at any opportunity, sighing over how they were the perfect couple, always finding something good to say about her.
His ex wasnt interested in playing any gamesshe came along, but that was it. Totally neutral. You could really feel her indifference about it all.
My mother-in-law would sometimes try to make Adam jealous, bring up his ex, or get in my head. Shed ring me and ask if I knew where Adam was; if I didnt, shed instantly assume he was round at his ex-wifes place. Sometimes, shed even send him round there herself, all sorts really.
Ive never been the jealous type, but all of this just wound me up. Anyone looking at Adam and his ex from the outside could see theres nothing between themand there never will be. But obviously, them sharing a son makes things tricky at times. Adam gives his ex money regularly, occasionally chats with his lad, brings him over, that sort of thing. His ex isnt manipulative, she doesnt try to bleed him dry or stop him seeing his son. Honestly, she just comes across completely normal. They act like two civilised adultsthings just didnt work out, thats all, and now they live their own lives and respect one another.
But Adams mum just can’t let it go; shes always plotting or stirring things up one way or another. I dont know when shes going to wise up and stop. Adam thinks shell finally settle down once I give her a grandchild, but if Im honest, Im not convincedOne Christmas, as we were gathering coats to leave another suffocating family dinner, Adam took my hand and squeezed it. There was courage in the way he looked at mea quiet resolve that told me something had shifted for him. He cleared his throat, waiting for a lull in his mothers commentary about traditions and how some things had simply been better before.
Enough, Mum, he said gently, but with a firmness Id never heard before. Im not going back. Were happy. You can keep inviting ghosts, but Im not going to haunt that family anymore. The room seemed to shrink; even his father glanced up from his pudding, fork paused in mid-air.
His mums mouth opened, ready to unleash, but Adam pressed on, voice unwavering. This is my wife. I chose her. Maybe you cant see it yet, but thats your lossnot mine.
There was silence, dense and charged, as if the whole house were holding its breath. His mums hands trembled minutely, clutching a napkin. For a second, I pitied hertrapped in the memory of a happiness that never quite belonged to any of us. Then she looked at me, lost in a confusion I almost recognized.
Adam put his arm around me and we walked out. The cold December air bit at my cheeks, but his fingertips traced warmth along my wrist. The sound of the door shutting behind us felt final, more a punctuation mark than ever before.
We walked down to the car. In the darkness, Adam looked over, a half-smile on his lips. Is it terrible that I feel a bit lighter?
I smiled back at him, feelingat lastthat this was our beginning, and not anyone elses ending. We drove home, headlights carving through the night, our little world quietly sealed, softly resilient, absolutely ours.
