Tomorrow is my mother-in-laws birthday.
My baby is four and a half months old. Initially, she invited us to hers for a get-together, and wed sorted it so my mum could watch the baby. But then classic my mother-in-law changed her mind and decided shed rather come round to ours with my father-in-law and my daughter, so we could all celebrate here. I havent got the cash for a dinner out my husband isnt keen anyway, and they wouldnt have it. Theyre a frugal lot, quite content with the bare essentials.
I honestly havent the foggiest why my mother-in-law wants her birthday bash at ours. Is it to wind me up a bit? To showcase my dismal skills as a hostess? To orchestrate some forced family bonding around the dinner table? Our relationships been strained since the start and after the little one arrived, the awkwardness only ballooned. Part of me suspects she sees this as her grand olive branch. But, if you ask me, shes barking up the wrong tree. Shes never truly insulted me well, except for that one time she actually slapped me but all the leftover goodwill I had for her evaporated. Now, every time she grins at me, I cant help but wonder whats really going on in her head.
I dont ban her from seeing the baby, mind you. She hardly ever asks anyway. Most weekends I ask my husband if Granny wants a visit. Im genuinely not fussed about our daughter seeing her grandmother. Do I want to see my mother-in-law again? Not really. Were both desperately awkward when together she, perhaps regretful, rehashing things shes said (I hope), and me for all the same reasons.
And, alright, so my familys a tad unconventional my dad and sister do enjoy a tipple (or three). But come on, I am human after all. Just because I like a lie-in at the weekend, if the baby allows, doesnt mean Im a terrible person. Weekends are divine. No waking at half six to make my husbands breakfast (since Id much rather be comatose while the baby miraculously slumbers on). Every time I hear the key in the lock, I want to bolt out the window.
To top it all off, shes forever hinting that the flat is really hers, as if I could forget. Yes, its technically hers, but as the current tenant, I reserve the right to shuffle about in questionable pyjamas and an unbrushed ponytail. Ever heard of basic manners? If you rent out a flat, is it normal to waltz in unannounced? Personally, I find it a subtle nudge about who actually holds the deed.
Things between us went pear-shaped when she made precisely zero effort to get to know me, even after finding out I was marrying her son. When we registered to wed, she phoned me not once, not twice, but ten times to confirm shed misheard wed been to the registry office. Wouldnt meet me in person, not at her place, not at a coffee shop. She doesnt know I was hardly a social butterfly before her son came along.
When we finally met by accident, after five months she acted like a character from an EastEnders Christmas special, all brash and loud, right in front of my (then) boyfriend. Ive only ever set eyes on my father-in-law at our wedding. Maybe thats why I feel so prickly about the whole lot.
Performing for others isnt my strong suit, however decent an actress I might be when pressed. This isnt one of those times. I wont bother pretending to feel all warm and fuzzy. Yes, the flat was hers, but shes signed it over to her son. The day after I came home from hospital, she genuinely tried to humiliate me, going on about my upbringing and how useless I am, latching onto her beloved boy. What kind of 55-year-old says that to her daughter-in-law especially someone whose only real offence was marrying her son and, alright, having a family with him?
I dont mind guests, really just not her, if Im honest. Ill still have to set the table, dash between the baby and everyones demands, and politely count the seconds until they leave. Still, Im handling things, and Ive already bought her a present. See, I can be civilised when I must.
