Tomorrow is my mother-in-laws birthday.
My baby is four and a half months old. At first, she invited us over to hers, and we decided that my mum would come round and look after the baby. But then my mother-in-law changed her mind and decided she wanted to come here, with my father-in-law and my daughter, to celebrate with us. I dont have the money for a meal out at a restaurant, my husband doesnt agree with the idea, and theyre not up for it anyway. Theyre both extremely frugal.
I really dont know why shes decided to have her birthday celebration at our place. Is it to wind me up? To make me look like a poor hostess? To gather everyone together around the same table? Ever since I met her, things have been tense between us, and after the baby arrived it only got worse. I suppose shes trying to smooth things over. But this is hardly the best way to do that. Shes never said anything outright rude, but she has hurt me. Any last traces of warmth I felt for her have completely vanished. Now, no matter how warmly she smiles at me, I know what she really thinks.
I dont stop her from seeing the baby; in fact, shes never shown any desire to do so. Every weekend, I ask my husband if his mum would like to see her granddaughter. I have no objection to my child seeing her grandma, not at all. Of course, Id prefer not to see her myself; were always so awkward around each other. Shes probably remembering what shes said to me, and I remember it too.
Yes, I come from a working-class family; my dad and my sister drink. So what? Im still a person, arent I? She neednt look down upon my little wish to sleep a bit longer at the weekend, assuming my baby lets me. Weekends are such a blessingI dont have to get up at half six to make my husband breakfast (at that hour, all I want is sleep, especially if the babys sleeping). Some days she says shes coming, then she cancels. Every time I hear the key in the lock, I wish I could just disappear
And she never misses a chance to remind me the flat belongs to her, and that her rules apply. I get that its her flat, but I live here toodoesnt that give me a say? Cant I wander about in my pyjamas, hair a mess, if I want to? Its basic decency, isnt it? If landlords rent out their place, do they just walk in without even ringing the bell? Is that normal? To me, it feels like a pointed reminder of who owns the flat.
Our relationship is so strained because my mother-in-law never really wanted to get to know me, even after she learnt that her son proposed. When we registered our marriage, she actually rang several times to double-check shed heard rightthat wed gone to the registrar. She never wanted to see me, not in her flat, and not in a café. She doesnt know that I never had anyone before her son.
The first time we met was pure chance; my husband and I had only known each other five months, and she certainly didnt make the best impression. Frankly, she was rather rude when he brought me round to introduce me. As for my father-in-law, Ive only ever seen him at our wedding. Maybe thats why I feel this constant aversion.
I loathe pretending, even though I know Im quite capable when I have to be. But I just dont want to, not with her. I dont even want to try to create the illusion of friendliness. Yes, were living in her flat, but what of it? Shes given it to her son, after all. Right after I came home from the hospital, not even two days later, she really went for memade comments about my family background, accused me of sponging off her son. I mean, really, how can someone who is 55 say things like that to her daughter-in-law, whos done absolutely nothing to her (other than, apparently, take her son away)and especially so soon after Ive just given birth?
I dont mind visitors in general, but I just dont want to host her. Im expected to help set the table, run between the baby and the living room, then wait patiently until the guests finally decide to go. Still, Ive done my dutyIve bought her a gift.
