My sister tied the knot four years ago, and now she’s the mother of a cheeky three-year-old boy named Oliver, for whom I’m both aunt and godmother. At twenty-three, I’m juggling university and a job, which makes every free day as precious as gold dust. Trying to balance it all is a bit of an art, but I do my best to carve out time for mates and family. Meanwhile, my sistermum to the delightful Oliveris currently out of work, spending an alarming amount of time in beauty salons. This is baffling, considering her husband is off gallivanting on business for weeks on end.
One day, my sister rang me up, desperate for help because she had a salon appointment and couldnt pick up Oliver from nursery. I agreed to help, as I happened to have a rare window of free time that evening after uni. A week later, her husband reappeared from his business trip and, out of the blue, asked if I could mind Oliver again because they wanted some ‘alone time.’ Ever the obliging sister, I agreed to babysit Oliver until 8 oclock. But when I tried to get in touch later that evening, nobody picked up my calls or messages. Poor Oliver was waiting for his parents, tears welling up in his little eyes. Eventually, they breezed in at midnight, looking positively delighted after an evening out on the town.
But that wasnt the grand finale. A few days later, they called yet again, this time eager to go celebrate the birthday of my brother-in-laws sister. They wondered if I could watch Oliver, claiming he wouldnt be interested in the party since thered be bigger kids around. At that point, I finally drew a line and spelled out my boundaries. I explained, in the nicest possible way, that while I was happy they had social lives, I had one of my ownincluding assignments and work shifts to juggle. I reminded my sister, gently but firmly, that she is a mum and responsible for her own child, and that my main focus needs to remain on my studies and job. I suggested she bring Oliver along to the party, as thered be other kids to keep him entertained. She didnt take my suggestion particularly wellin fact, she got a bit huffy.
I called in reinforcements: our mum, who had a word with her and pointed out she was leaning a bit too heavily on me, and shirking her own parental duties.
My sister is still at home, apparently on a mission to make me shoulder her responsibilities. Still, I’m sticking to my guns, reminding her that I have my own life to lead and that, really, she should mind her own son herself.
