My sister-in-law went off on holiday to a seaside resort while we were busy renovating, and now she insists on living in comfort.
I suggested, right at the start, that my sister-in-law and I both put money into refurbishing the house. She flatly refused, insisting she didnt need any help. Now, though, shes asking if she can stay with us because her own half lacks basic amenities. So its really her doing!
The house had belonged to my husbands grandmother. After she died, he and his sister inherited it together. It was already pretty old, but we made the decision to do it up and move in. The layout was quite convenient there were two separate entrances so both families could live there peacefully without getting in each others way. The front and back gardens were shared, and each side had the same number of rooms.
When we split the inheritance, my wife and I were already married. It all went ahead calmly and without arguments. My mother-in-law wanted nothing to do with itshe was already used to life in London and told her children to do as they pleased.
My husband and my sister-in-laws husband pooled some savings and managed to repair the roof and shore up the foundations. We wanted to continue with the renovations, but my sister-in-law was having none of it. She had no interest in sinking money into what she called an old henhouse. Her husband just kept his head down; he never argued with her.
My husband and I planned to live in that house. The village wasnt far from London, and we had our own car, so commuting was manageable. In any case, wed grown tired of squeezing into a single-bedroom flat. Wed long dreamed of having our own place, and building from scratch would have cost a fortune.
For my sister-in-law, though, the house was just a holiday cottage. She imagined popping down in the summer for barbecues or a bit of peace and quiet. She made it quite clear we shouldnt count on her for anything.
Over four years, we renovated our side from top to bottom. We did take out a loan, but the most important thing was that we transformed the place: put in a proper bathroom, installed central heating, rewired everything, replaced the windows, and even painted up the conservatory. It felt like the work never stoppedearly mornings to late nightsbut we stuck it out for our dream.
Meanwhile, my sister-in-law was always travelling. She didnt care what we did or what was happening to her share. My husbands sister lived for her own pleasures and never lifted a finger. Then she had a baby and went on maternity leave.
That put an end to her adventures, and money suddenly became tight. Thats when she remembered her half of the house. Living cooped up in a flat with a baby was hard, and at least there, the child could run about and play outside.
By that time, wed already moved in and were renting out our old flat. We hadnt even touched her half, but after all those years, her side had literally started to rot. I dont know how she thought she could live there without heating, but she turned up with a suitcase for a months stay. She asked if she could stay with us for a weekI felt obliged to say yes.
Her boys incredibly loud. Sos his mother, who only ever does as she pleases. She never considers anyone else. It was a nightmare for me, as I work remotelyit drove me mad. In the end, I stayed with a mate for a bit. She was away during that stretch, so in a way it suited her to have someone house-sitting.
Circumstances meant I was almost a month away. I spent a week with my friend and then my own mum fell ill, so I had to look after her. I honestly forgot all about my husbands sister; I was sure shed gone back home long ago.
Imagine my surprise when I came back and found her still living in our house, acting as if it was hers! I asked when she planned to leave.
Where am I meant to go? Ive got a small child, and its perfectly fine here, she said.
Well take you back to the city tomorrow, I told her.
I dont want to go back to the city, she replied.
If you couldnt even bother cleaning the house while you were here, youd better be off; this isnt a hotel.
What right have you got to throw me out? This is my house!
Your house is through the wall, go live there, I said.
She even tried to set her husband against me, but he told her shed been here long enough. Offended, she packed up and left. Not long after, my mother-in-law started ringing my phone off the hook:
You had no right to kick her outits her property.
She could have stayed in her half, she owns that side, said my husband.
And how is anyone supposed to live there with a child? Theres no heating, the loos still outside. You could have looked after your sister, she moaned.
My husband lost his cool and spelled out that wed offered to renovate together, and it would have cost far less than doing up each half separately. She refused, so why are we suddenly the villains?
We suggested another way out for his sistershe could sell her half to my mother. She agreed, but wanted a price high enough that we could buy a fully renovated house outright. That didnt suit us in the slightest.
Now were stuck in an argument. My mother-in-law constantly takes offence, and Alina is a nightmareshe only visits on rare occasions, but when she does, she holds noisy parties, leaves a mess everywhere, and damages things in the garden.
So weve started building a proper fence to mark off the boundaries once and for all. No more half-measuresthis is what my sister-in-law wanted.
