My husband, William, and I had spent over two decades pottering along quite peacefully. We had our dear little cottage in the Cotswolds where wed escape every weekend. William handled the hoovering and I whipped up the meals. I naively thought wed shuffle along like this until we were old and grey, watching the telly with Werthers Originals in hand. But then, quite out of the blue, William sat me down and dropped the bombshell:
Emily, Im sorry. Im leaving you. Ive met someone else and Ive fallen completely head over heels for her!
Of course, despite being 38, Im not daft. Id sussed out that William had someone else lingering in the background. I tried to keep things together, hoping William would never actually leave. Kindhearted (or maybe just nosy) neighbours sometimes even sent me blurry photos of William with his new lady friend. But I soldiered on. So when William finally said he was off, I was genuinely gobsmacked.
At least our daughter was away on holiday in Cornwall with her mates at the time. To bring myself out of this sorry state, I decided to tell my own friends everything.
We formed an impromptu womens committee in my kitchen. Jane swore I should go on Slimming World and land myself a new beau. Kate insisted I head straight to her auntieapparently shes something of a white witchand get William magicked back. Lucy decided I ought to ditch him and line up someone new immediately.
But Sarah rolled her eyes and said, Why not just carry on as you are? Honestly, its much easier!
But I cant just carry on as normal! Its miserable! I moaned.
Tough luck, love, youll have to. Itll get better, trust meIve had three divorces myself. You clean, you cook, you go to work, you watch a bit of TV, maybe read a novel.
But who shall I cook for?
Cook for us! Well be round for tea every day and clean out your fridge!
All this advice was, in its own way, touching. But I couldnt decide whose advice to follow. In the end, I caved and went to see Kates magical aunt. I took along a photo of William and the mysterious woman. Aunt Gloria read the tarot, waved some sage around, and solemnly declared that my William would crawl back within a fortnight.
Of course, William did no such thingnot in two weeks, not in a month. Plus, Id forked out half my monthly paycheque on that visit. With William gone, my house felt emptier than a pub after last orders. I coped by buying up alarming amounts of Mr Kipling cakes and M&S trifles. Two weeks later, I stepped onto the scale and nearly faintedId piled on the pounds faster than you can say Bake Off.
Thats when I decided Id had enough. I blitzed the flat, scrubbed floors until they sparkled, repotted my houseplants, and even rearranged all the furniture. The place looked so warm and inviting, even Kirstie Allsopp would be proud. To tackle my cake-induced waistline, I enrolled in a local Zumba classnothing like prancing about a church hall to work up a sweat. Every day I cooked Williams favourite leek and potato soup. My friends would come over, slurp up the soup, and chat until late. When they left, Id settle in and watch Game of Thrones.
Funny thingId always meant to binge it with William, but life always got in the way. Turns out, its a cracking show. I found myself properly enjoying my evenings for the first time in ages. And then, one night, in strolls William. Stands there, gawping at how lovely the place looks and how delicious the flat smellswith his favourite soup simmering on the stove. Meanwhile, Im snuggled up on the sofa, living my best life.
Emily, evening. Just here to pick up me bits I forgot last time.
Of course! Ive got them bagged up for you. Need a carrier?
I didnt bring one.
Here, take one of these.
I handed him his old things in a nice, sturdy Waitrose bag.
Blimey, is that leek and potato soup I smell?
Sure is. Hungry?
He hesitated, then nodded, A bit.
I ladled him up a bowl. He had two helpings, just like old times. When hed finished, he said, Well, thank you, Emily. Ill be off, then.
Off you go, Ive got to finish this episode anyway!
What are you watching?
Game of Thrones.
He sighed, Remember how we always said wed watch it together?
I remember, I said, and gave him a little smile.
William shuffled out. I had a sob, then finished my show, and went to bed.
A fortnight laterjust as Aunt Gloria had predicted, though probably just by luckWilliam knocked on my door, bags in hand.
Emily, Im so sorry! I miss you so much. I miss our soup, the cosy flat, everything about our life together. Please forgive me. Im an idiot; I let myself be swayed by a younger womans gym membership
You missed my soup?
I missed everything. But mostly you.
All right, come in.
Im mortified about what Ive put you and our daughter through. You wont tell her, will you?
I wont breathe a word. Now, do you want some dinner?
Id love some. Thank you, Emily.We sat together at the kitchen table, the silence wrapping round us like an old quilt. Williams spoon clinked against his bowl. I poured him a glass of wine, then one for myself. We ate, side by side, but somewhere between the mouthfuls of soupa recipe Id once made for love, now just muscle memoryI felt something shifting. Not the return of romance exactly, but an odd, peaceful acceptance.
Later, clearing up, I noticed him looking uncertain, as if he suspected the world might tip out from under him at any moment. You know, I said quietly, I dont know how things will turn out. But I do know this: youll be doing your own hoovering from now on, and teabags go in the food caddy, not the sink.
He grinned sheepishly, tears bright in his eyes. Fair enough, boss.
I let myself laugha real, from-the-belly laugh I hadnt heard in months.
Our daughter rang while we were finishing the dishes. She was coming home the next morning, planning to regale me with every hilarious detail from Cornwall. I glanced at William. He nodded, as if to say, Lets make sure the soups on the stove for her too. I nodded back.
That night, tucked up alone in bed, I realised something. Life probably wouldnt ever look quite the samemaybe it shouldnt. But I had friends who would show up for dinner at the drop of a hat, a kitchen I loved, and a daughter coming home. William? Well, he was here now, unsure and humbled, but here nonetheless.
I smiled in the dark, blanket pulled up tight, feeling stronger than I had in years.
Whatever came next, Id decide on my own terms. And maybe, just maybe, the best was still to come.
