Not everything goes smoothly for me, Emily sighed. My stepdad is constantly nagging me.
Whats your name, love? a stranger asked, leaning over her at the bus stop.
Emily, she replied. And you?
Im Charles, and your mother and I will be living together. From now on itll be you, me and your mum one happy family!
Soon after, Emily and her mother moved into Charless threebedroom flat in a leafy suburb of Manchester. The flat was spacious, and Emily got her own bedroom. Charles was a decent chap, always buying sweets and toys for the girl, but her real father only called when he wanted to argue with her mother.
One evening her mother told Emily that her father had started a new family and had moved away. The news hit Emily hard; she loved him. Her mother could raise her voice and give a quick spank, but her father had never done anything like that. Emily remembered clearly how, when her parents were divorcing, her mother shouted at her father, even threatening to hit him. The words that stuck with her were her mothers final retort:
Dont think you were the first to give me horns; youve been wearing them as long as a stag!
After that, mother and daughter packed their things and went to stay with Grandma Joan. Emily could never understand where her fathers horns were, seeing as he was bald and smoothskinned. That night, her parents split for good.
Charles remained a kind stepfather until Emily started Year1. She didnt like school and caused mischief during breaks, which meant the teachers often called the parents in. Sometimes Charles had to attend in place of her mother, and he took his role seriously, helping her with maths and reading at home.
Youre nobody to me, you cant teach me! she would say, echoing a line shed heard from Grandma.
Im actually your father now, because Im the one who feeds and clothes you, Charles would reply, halfsmiling.
When Emily turned ten, her biological father, Peter, returned to Manchester. By then she knew exactly what getting horns meant. Her mother muttered, Probably his other wife liked him, so he left her. Peter asked for permission to see his daughter; her mother gave it, and the reunion was pleasant.
Kid, how are you getting on? Peter asked.
Not too well, Emily said. My stepdad is always yapping at me.
Who are you to shout at me? Peter snapped.
Even Grandma says the same, and he doesnt care, Emily exaggerated, hoping hed worry about her.
Fine, Ill sort it, he said.
They strolled through the local park, where Emily learned that only eightyearolds could ride the tiny carousel alone; all other rides required an adult, and her dad refused to join in. She hinted that her birthday was coming up and that shed love a new smartphone. When her mother mentioned that Charles never raised his voice at her, Peter simply ignored the comment.
Dads such a miser! Emily told Charles later. I wanted to go on the rides, but he wouldnt let me. He only bought me an icecream, and thats it. We just walked around the park. Charles, youre better than my dad.
Well fix his mistake and spend the weekend at the childrens entertainment centre, Charles promised.
The plan fell apart when Charles had to dash to work for lunch, so they headed home instead of the water park. He also brushed off Emilys smartphone hints.
Dad, Charles tricked me! Emily wailed to Peter, tears streaming. He said wed go to the centre and only let us climb the ropes. He told me I didnt deserve anything moreno waterpark, no new phone.
Even though it was a pure lie, Peters paternal magic kicked in and he bought Emily a phone. He noted her earlier complaint but, given the turn of events, felt obliged to grant the childs wish. He could only afford a modest model, as his pockets were tight.
Couldnt you wait for your birthday? Charles asked.
Im dreaming of a dog! Emily replied.
But you wont get one, Charles retorted. Youd have to walk it, and youre already lazy enough!
Emilys face turned a shade of red, and she burst into a hysterical fit, calling her dad on the phone. Dad, please take me away from them! Charles is just teasing and teaching me, she shouted.
The adults began arguing, while Emily was sent off to Grandmas house. Soon after, her mother arrived with boxes, announcing she was divorcing Charles.
The grownups finally saw through Emilys scheming. Her biological father returned to his wife, who was pregnant. In the end, Emily wouldnt get the shiny new smartphone shed hoped for, nor the dog she dreamed of, and Grandma Joan was adamant that no cat would ever be allowed in the house.
