June 4th
My heart leapt when I heard the front door open Nicholas, my boy! I cried, wiping a stray tear from my cheek. He stood there in his old flat cap, hands tucked into his pockets, a grin plastered across his weatherworn face. Hey, Mum, he said, hesitating a beat, Im not alone. He nudged forward a lanky teenager with round spectacles and a battered rucksack slung over his shoulder.
Oh my goodness, a grandchild! Is that Tom or Sam? I cant tell without his glasses, I exclaimed, chuckling. Nicholas eased onto the kitchen stool, his eyes softening. Put him on, love. Thats William, my son from before. Remember when Zoe and I took a year apart? I got together with Valeria then, and William was born. I signed his birth certificate in my own name, you know. He sighed heavily.
I brushed him off sharply. What are you babbling about in front of a child? Hell never understand the tangled bits of your life yet. William, go into the lounge and watch the telly while I sort things out with your father. The boy slipped silently away, his shoes thudding against the linoleum.
I turned to Nicholas, voice low. Does Zoe know about him? I asked. She never liked my sons wife a quarrelsome, sharptongued sort.
Nicholas flinched. What are you on about, Mother? If shed found out shed have knocked me out of the house long ago. But I cant bear it. I built him from the ground up with my own hands.
I exhaled, shaking my head. Youre such a right mess, youre not a proper man but a spineless one. Youve been under Zoes heel all your life, and now youve gone and sired a child on the side. Why bring him here? Zoe will discover him and Ill be in hot water.
Nicholass voice trembled as he tried to explain. Valeria was about to marry a snake, got tangled up with a new lover down south, and called me after a month, pleading for the boys future. She begged me to take him wherever I wanted even home. I went mad, thinking my wife would throw us out. She warned me shed make life miserable if I didnt obey. Shes barely spoken to me since. So I thought, let him stay with you a month, then Ill collect him, he muttered, never meeting my gaze.
I shook my head, sighing. Youve been that way since you were a lad, and you never change. Help me out, will you? Where shall I put him? He doesnt look like our family, I hesitated, Are you sure hes yours?
Nicholas waved my concerns aside. Hes mine, no doubt. Valerias a handful, but Im a faithful old woman.
Silence settled. I sprang up. Enough standing about. Lets get him something to eat, hes been on the road all day.
Nicholas rose, apologising. Sorry, Mum, Ive got to be off. Zoes waiting at home. I told her I was off to town for parts. Feed the boy and Ill be gone. He squeezed my hand, whispering, God bless you, my dear.
William ate quickly, eyes glued to his plate. I asked, halfsympathetic, More? but he shook his head. No, thank you. He rose from the table.
Take a stroll outside while I finish dinner. Whats in that rucksack? I inquired.
Just my stuff, he grumbled.
Will you wash it yourself or do you need me? I offered. For the first time his eyes widened with fear. I cant. Mum always did the washing.
I lifted his tiny sack, inspecting its contents two plain tees, a pair of underpants and a thin pair of shorts. Not much, eh? No warm jumper either. Mustve been a rushed mum. I dropped the clothes into a basin, then turned to the cherry pie Id been baking.
A sudden cry erupted from the garden. I dropped the rolling pin and rushed out, flour still on my hands.
What happened? I called.
William whined, clutching his leg. A goose pinched me. It hurts! Tears streamed from his eyes.
Why were you near them? Theyre out grazing, and you were in the yard, I asked, noticing a red welts on his shin.
I just wanted to look at them, he sniffed.
Had you never seen geese before? I wondered.
I have, but never got close. He whispered.
Alright, lets get you inside, Ill rub some ointment on that, I said, guiding him back. After dinner I laid him on the settee; sleep eluded me. I could feel my heart crumbling. Had I ever sent my own child to a strangers home? My mind swirled with old grievances and the weight of a boys small, trembling body.
Later, a soft sobbing reached my ears. I tiptoed to the couch. Whats wrong, love? Dont like it here? I asked. He lifted his head, eyes brimming. Theyll take me to a boarding school when Uncle Victor and Aunt Kate arrive. I dont want that. I liked staying with you. Uncle Victor never even calls me by my name. Grandmother, youre kind, but Im not needed.
My chest tightened. I wrapped my arms around his frail frame. Dont cry, William. I wont let anyone hurt you. Ill speak to your mother, and you can stay here. We have a good school, teachers, and well go mushroompicking and berrypicking together. Well milk the cow, and youll grow strong on fresh milk. You dont believe me? Tomorrow Ill introduce you to Paul a sturdy lad whos as solid as a loaf of bread. Will you give it a go?
He clutched my neck, voice trembling. Ill try. Will you keep your promise?
I pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. You have my word.
Years passed. Valentina would sometimes drive up from Manchester, dropping gifts before Victor hurried her away. Nicholas turned up occasionally, but rarely. Zoe learned of William and blamed me rather than her husband, declaring that she didnt need grandchildren, only a tidy household.
I didnt mind. The skinny lad had grown into a sturdy young man. This morning I prepared his favourite stew, glancing out the kitchen window every now and then. A young soldier in a khaki uniform entered, calling softly, Grandma, Im here, where are you?
I bolted from the room, hugging his neck. William, my dear grandson!
Will you be going back to Mum? I asked. He set down his fork, looking bewildered. Which mum? The one who tossed me aside and only brought trinkets once a year? No, I wont go. Youre my mother now, and thats final. He resumed eating, calm as ever.
A single tear slipped down my cheek, hidden by the bustle of the kitchen. I felt a quiet joy a grandson I could rely on in my later years, my little bloodrelative, my hearts own.
