The other day, a mate of mine popped round for a cuppa. We were sat in the kitchen, chatting about life, when I said, “Ill just nip off and do the washing upback in a tick.”
He looked at me like Id just announced I was building a rocket. With a mix of awe and confusion, he said, “Good on you for helping your wife. I dont bothermine never thanks me anyway. Last week, I mopped the floor, and not a single cheers out of her.”
I sat back down and set him straight. I wasnt “helping” my wife. Truth is, my wife doesnt need helpshe needs a partner. Im not doing chores as a favour; Im pulling my weight because its my home too.
I dont “help” clean because I live here, and cleanings part of that.
I dont “help” cook because I like eating, so cookings just logical.
I dont “help” with the dishes because I use those plates too.
I dont “help” with the kidstheyre my children, and being their dad is my job.
I dont “help” with the laundry because those are my clothes and my kids clothes too.
Im not “helping out” at home. I live here. This is my house as much as hers.
Then I asked him: When was the last time your wife mopped, cooked, did the school run, bathed the kids, folded laundry, or changed the beds, and you turned round and said, “Bloody brilliant, love! Youre amazing!”
Does that sound odd? Are you squirming? When you mopped once and expected a medal why? Ever think about that, mate?
Maybe its because our bloke-ish culture taught you its “her job.” Or you reckon it all just magically happens without her lifting a finger?
Well, start praising her like you expect to be praised. Step up. Be a proper partner, not just a lodger who shows up for meals, showers, and the occasional roll in the hay. This is your home too.
Real change starts at home. Lets teach our sons and daughters what it means to be equals.
