Dear, today youre turning thirtytwo! Im thrilled for you and have a little trinket Agnes Whitaker, mother of Mabel, handed her a pair of handknitted baby booties shed made in a craft class. Mabel stared, eyes wide, at the offering. Yes, love, thirtytwo is the perfect time to start thinking about grandchildren. Im not getting any younger, and youre not either. Id love to hear the pitterpatter of tiny feet again. All my friends are already boasting about greatgrandchildren; here I am, a lonely old bird without grandkids.
Mabel flushed. A hush fell over the table. The guests two of Agness chums and three of the neighbours all fixed their gaze on the matriarch.
Im feeling faint, I need to lie down, Mabel muttered, slipping away from the table. She didnt want the guests to see the redrimmed eyes that told the story of a mother constantly reminding you that the clock is ticking.
Ticktock, indeed. Whats the point of having a child when, apart from a nanny in the form of a pensioner mother, theres nothing else prepared? Besides, Mabel hadnt even found a suitable gentleman, let alone anyone willing to tie the knot.
Oh, dears, I dont know what to do If you had sons, perhaps Mabel would have been set up. All you girls are being married off. Its a proper oldfashioned village, isnt it? sighed Agnes.
Mabel lived with her mother in a cramped twobedroom flat in the market town of Ashford. Serious relationships had never materialised; marriage seemed as fanciful as a romance novel. She worked at the Post Office, lugging parcels, sending letters, and manning the computer to process shipments. The job left her back aching so often that she returned home almost exhausted. All she wanted was a decent meal, then to collapse on the sofa, close her eyes, and think of nothing at all.
Look at you, stretched out again Come to the poetry night with me! Youre young and pretty, why just lie about like a seal? Maybe well find you a chap, the mother chided, watching Mabel sprawl like a loaf of bread on the couch.
Mum! Leave me be. Im resting! Mabel snapped.
Agnes, despite being well into her seventies, was a whirlwind of energy: she sang at the community hall, travelled to the county town for activist meetings, and recited her own verses at senior womens gatherings. She was always rushing somewhere, preaching the virtues of helping others and never being idle. She could have powered a whole generation of grandchildren with that vigor. Mabel, on the other hand, possessed none of it.
Undeterred, Agnes kept shaking the bright red booties in Mabels face, placing them conspicuously on the mantelpiece.
Mum, thats enough, youre shaking them like a red flag in a bull ring! Mabel protested.
Mabel, love, listen. Youre an adult now; think about children! Id love to see some grandkids before I kick the bucket the mother pleaded.
Mum, Im not sure I even want to think about it. My job is hard, the pay is tiny, my back hurts, and honestly its just the two of us in this flat. Kids? No, thank you! Mabel retorted, sighing with relief.
Exactly, Agnes sighed, but you could try living a bit differently. Not just work and the sofa. You know, I visited Eleanor Stevens the other day; her granddaughter is a real whizz
I get it, Mum! Mabel snapped. But I cant just get pregnant because you want grandkids. That would mean marrying, and Ive had zero suitors! There was one, Terry, and you sent him packing!
Mabel swiped her hand, recalling when Ivan used to court her. He was a decent bloke from a welloff family, but Agnes had promptly declared, No boys for you while youre still at home! So the romance fizzled.
And so it went on Ivan eventually started seeing Mabels only friend, a less picky sort of girl. Six months ago that friend gave birth to Ivans third child. Theyre living comfortably, no one lounging on sofas, no pies being eaten with tea piled with four teaspoons of sugar.
Ivan, you say? Agnes chuckled. There are plenty of other men; you just need to leave the house.
I should have left earlier, Mum! When I wanted to study in the city, you told me I couldnt go alone, that it was full of rogues. You pushed me into a technical college for a course you chose. Technicians are always needed, you said. I hated physics and nearly flunked out in my second year!
You just didnt try hard enough, the mother retorted.
Better to have thrown me out! Because of you I was shuffled into the most unwanted course, just to fill a class. Why waste time on electrical engineering? Who needs that at the Post Office?!
The Post Office is stable work, close to home. You can pop in for lunch! Isnt that nice? Agnes argued.
Mum! It may be a dream for some, but it doesnt light a fire under me.
Then youll have kids
No, Mum. I dont want children if I cant give them a decent life. I dont want my daughter to end up like me, stuck in a job she hates and counting the days to retirement.
Agnes stared, heart heavy, not realising when the tide had turned and why Mabels bright spirit had become so subdued.
I tried so hard to give you a better life, free from want! And this is my reward? You wont even give me grandchildren for joy! she shouted, tears flashing.
Mum, why not get a job yourself? Maybe youre bored because you have too much energy and nothing to do. Be a nanny, spend time with kids. Then maybe we could use the money for a seaside break. Ive never left this little town, maybe Id like to see the world beyond the road to the post office.
Agnes shook her head. And where would I go?
Even to Ivans place! They have money and kids; go there and be useful!
To Ivans? Agnes stared, stunned. No, dear, I wont go there. They wouldnt want an old woman.
Try it. They wont charge for a bit of help, Mabel teased, knowing her mother would never accept a job with Ivan after having shut him out.
Time passed. Agnes stopped waving the booties. She turned to her own pursuits and community work. At a seniors meeting in the county centre, the topic drifted to young peoples family woes. Without thinking, she began to complain to strangers about her daughter drifting without ambition.
Ive raised a weed, now Im reaping the harvest she muttered with a bitter grin.
The fertilizer you used decides the fruit! What did you give her besides advice? A flat? Good education? A chance at a love life?
What could I do? My husband left when he found out I was pregnant. I did it all alone!
Why have children if you cant provide? Youre not a mother of the year, youre a mother of regret!
The strangers words stung. Agnes snapped back, then fell silent and left before tea was even served.
All evening she felt out of sorts, memories flooding: forbidding Mabel to ride horses on the farm, warning her that Ivan was not serious, dictating dress and outings, banning trips to dances because drunk blokes. Shed blocked every path to independence, turning love and care into overprotection. Mabels will had been ground down.
Agnes sighed, finally seeing that she herself had built the very cage that trapped Mabel.
The next day she visited Mrs. Hart, a neighbour who was good friends with Ivans wife, and asked about a nanny job.
Theyre looking for a helper. Their third child is a handful. Youre keen?
Im looking, yes. If they take me, Ill be delighted.
Mrs. Hart hired her. The work was hard but suited the spry retiree: three little rascals, a modest wage, and a purpose.
When Mabel learned her mother had taken a job, she was surprised and, for once, relieved. Agnes no longer hounded her with endless questions; she came home exhausted, fell asleep on the sofa, and let Mabel breathe. Within months Agnes saved enough to fund a holiday for her daughter.
When the time came to buy travel vouchers, Agnes bought just one for Mabel. She handed it over on Mabels birthday.
Darling, youre thirtythree today! Im thrilled for you and can say this: life is only just beginning. Heres a ticket; go see the world, meet people. Youve always been at my side; now its your turn.
Mabel stared at the ticket, at her mother, rose from the table and embraced her tightly.
Thank you, Mum, she said. Ill go gladly. Life really does just begin, and I have everything ahead of me.
Mabel took a proper break, returned refreshed, and decided she no longer wanted to be a stagnant plant. She enrolled in accounting courses. Her first clients were Ivan and his wife. Their friendship blossomed, and word spread. Soon she was bookkeeping for several local entrepreneurs, earning enough to travel and enjoy life beyond the confines of television dramas and stale pies.
Three years later Mabel met Simon. They adopted a little one from a childrens home, and a year after that Mabel discovered she was pregnant. Late child? people whispered. She just smiled, knowing her story was still being written, and that she would no longer listen to anyone elses expectations. Everything fell into place, and even Agness dream came true. She is now a proud grandmother of two, happily humming as she watches her grandchildren chase after their own adventures.
