On Holidays with Brazen Relatives, Settle Matters Once and For All
Ive endured this for two weeks, Sam! Two weeks in this barn they dare call a hotel.
Why did we even agree to come?
Because Mum asked us to, didn’t she? Emily needs a proper break, Emilys had such a hard life, Sam mimicked our mothers tone.
Indeed, Aunt Emily had never had an easy lot, but Lucy couldnt pull up any sympathy for her. Not even a trace.
Emily, Mums sister on her mothers side, had forever been the poor relation, always owed something by everyone else.
The suitcase wouldnt shut. Lucy pressed her knee into the lid with no small amount of frustration, willing the zip to close, but each time it spat out the end of a beach towel in defeat.
Through the thin plywood partitionglorified as a wall in this squalid guest housecame a shriek: Timmy, Aunt Emilys six-year-old, was at it again.
I dont want porridge! No! Chicken nuggets! I want nuggets! The child screamed as though someone was cutting off a limb.
There followed a heavy slap, the clatter of crockery, and then Emilys languid, smoke-worn drawl:
Oh come on, pet, just a spoon, for Mummy.
Vera, nip round to the shop and get him those nuggets, cant you see how the poor lambs suffering? My legs are aching, honestly, Im knackered.
Lucy froze, hands clutching the suitcase lock. Vera! And her mother would go, too.
Sam, Lucys brother, slouched on the single wobbly chair in their tiny room, glowering at his phone.
He wasnt even bothering to pack; his bag still looked like a heap in the corner.
Do you hear that? Lucy quietly nodded in the direction of the wall. Shes sending Mum out again. Vera, fetch this, Vera, bring that. And Mumll jump straight up in a second.
Dont, Sam grunted, not looking up. Were going home tomorrow.
Ive endured this for a fortnight, Sam! Two weeks in this barn masquerading as a hotel. Why did we agree?
Because Mum insisted. Emily has to have a break, everythings been so hard for Emily Sam repeated, mimicking Mum perfectly.
Lucy perched on the edge of the worn bed, the springs giving an agonised squeak.
Aunt Emilys lot was a sorry one, but Lucy simply couldnt bring herself to feel sorry for her. Ever.
Emily, Mums maternal sister, had always been the familys poor thing, the one who demanded everything.
Shed lost her first child as an infanta tragedy no one spoke of but in hushed tones. Then there was the husband, too fond of drink, who drank himself into an early grave a couple of years back. Aunt Emily now raised two children by different fathers, all of them living under Grandmas roof.
The latest man of her dreamseighth so faralso squatted in the flat. Emily never fancied work; she believed her calling was to adorn the world with her presence and misfortune, and everyone else should fund this party.
Chief among her benefactors was Lucys mother, Vera, whom Aunt Emily cast as endlessly wealthy, money coming out of her ears.
Lucy turned to stare out the window. The splendid view stretched over rubbish bins and the brick wall of the neighbouring henhouse.
This holiday had been Mums idea. Lets all go together, let Emily have a break, she needs cheering up. Mum paid for nearly all the bookings, did the food shopping, and cooked for everyone, while Emily and her new friendsome loud woman called Lorraine whom shed met by the pool, their shared pastime being lazinesslounged about shamelessly.
Pack your things, Lucy told Sam. Were going to the restaurant tonight. Farewell dinner, remember.
***
Naturally, they hadnt picked the restaurant themselves. Emily declared she wanted something posh.
The place stood on the seafront. They shoved two tables together to cram in the whole mob, as Lucy privately called them.
At the head of the table, Emily, bursting the seams of a sparkly dress, sat next to Lorrainea large, braying woman with brittle, bleach-damaged hair.
Waiter! Emily shouted before even glancing at the menu. Something special! Mixed grill, salads, and a jug of that red stuff there!
Vera, Lucys mum, sat timidly at the end, looking wrung out. She hadnt had a minutes rest these two weeks: Timmys tantrums, Emilys ailments, Alices endless boredom.
Mum, get that fish you kept mentioning, Lucy whispered, leaning towards her.
Oh, its too dear, never mind, Vera said, waving the idea off. Salads enough for me. Let Emily have her treat, shes been through so much this year.
Lucys patience snapped. Oh, shes been through so much, had she? Right next to Timmy, little king of the age of six, smashing his spoon against his plate.
Feed me! he shouted, mouth agape, glued to the iPad.
Obediently, Emily scooped up mash and shoved it into his mouth.
My precious, she trilled, eat up, get strong.
Hes six, for goodness sake, Lucy blurted out. Cant he feed himself yet?
A hush spread. Emily slowly turned her head.
And who asked you, dear niece? she hissed. Raise your own children, then preach. Mine is sensitive, he needs extra care!
He needs boundaries, not an iPad at dinner, Lucy shot back, He shrieks like a banshee when hes disappointed. Youre raising a little tyrant.
Oh, I cant! Lorraine spluttered, throwing up her hands. Emily, listen to her! Little Miss Perfect! Young people these daysthinks she knows it all. Eggs teaching chickens, thats what this is. You, love, have barely lived yet you lecture your elders!
Lucy, be quiet, Mum whispered, tugging her sleeve. Dont spoil the evening. Please.
The night dragged on. Emily and Lorraine loudly dissected men and gossiped about the others staying at the guest house, bewailing their lot as women.
Alice stared at her phone, periodically sneering at the oldies. Timmy would start up howling for pudding, and instantly be bought the largest ice cream on the menu.
When the bill came, Emily sighed dramatically:
Oh, Ive left my purse back at the room! Vera, love, could you pay? Ill sort you out when we get home.
You never will, Lucy thought, watching her mother draw out her bank card without a word. It was routine by now.
***
Back at the guest house after midnight, Lucy went straight for the shower, desperate to scrub away the film of that evening.
The water trickled outfreezing, then scorching. She was walking to her room when she paused by the half-open kitchen door, voices raised inside.
Did you see the girls face? Lorraine squawked, Sat there sulking. He cant feed himself. And whats it to you, missy? Never lived, that one! If not for you, Vera, shed be mucking out the cows, not turning her nose up in fancy restaurants. High and mighty, but not a scrap of sense or a boyfriend to her name!
Lucy held her breath. Her heart, thudding painfully in her throat, waited. Waited for her mother to bat the table and say: Enough, Lorraine. Dont you dare speak of my daughter like that. Or at least leave the room.
She heard none of that. Just Emilys heavy sigh, followed by her whingeing:
Youre absolutely right, Lorraine. Difficult girl, that one. Got all her fathers side about her, that lot were all prickly, too. Not like my AliceAlice may have a temper but her hearts in the right place. But Lucy looks at us as if were filth. Puts me off my food when shes near.
Thats because youve let her get away with murder, Vera! Lorraine crowed. Shouldve given her a proper hiding when she was young. Now she sits like royalty, thinks her mum is nothing. Id have kicked her out ages ago, let her learn what real hardship is.
Lucy pressed her forehead to the doorframe. Her mum said nothing, just sat there, possibly with her teaor more likely something stronger, judging by the reeklistening to them rubbish her only daughter.
Lucy straightened, then flung the door open with a crash.
Silence fell as the three women sat at the plastic table, surrounded by empty packaging and crumbs. Emily, split seams and all; Lorraine, face blotchy and red; and Mum
Mum hunched into her shoulders instantly.
So Im an empty-headed girl, am I? Lucys voice was steady as a stone, unwavering. And you, Aunt Emily, youre so full of good character, is that it?
Emily hiccupped, eyes wide. Lorraine shouldered up from the table, looming like a thundercloud.
Been eavesdropping, have you, brat?” she snarled. Come to warm your ears?
I havent been eavesdropping. Youre shouting so loud, the whole floor can hear, Lucy stepped inside, fixing Emily with her gaze, Couldnt swallow your food near me, could you? Funny, it went down easily enough when my mother was paying for it in the restaurant. Didnt get stuck then, did it?
Youre ungrateful! Aunt Emily shrieked, trembling with fury, We embrace you, and you turn your nose up! Im old enough to be your mother, and you throw bread in my face? Choke on your own money, why dont you!
Its not about money, its your nerve! Lucy blazed, Youve lived off Mum your whole life! One man after another, kids, mysterious illnessesyet Mum works herself to death so you can have a holiday, and you drag her down behind her back! And you lecture me? Your daughter swears like a dockworker and wipes her boots on you, and your son manipulates everyone because you darent tell him no!
Emily gaped, struck dumb.
Lucy! Mum cried, leaping up. Enough! Go to your room at once!
No, Mum, I wont, Lucy met her mothers gaze, pain heavy in her eyes. You sit there and listen while this stranger, whom weve known for two days, slags off your own daughter. And you say nothing? You let them?
Lorraine pushed her chair back, advancing, chubby fists clenched. Thats it, you little cow, Ill teach you to respect your elders
She swung for Lucys face. Lucy only flinched, but the blow never landedSams hand stopped Lorraines in mid-air.
Touch her and see what happens, Sam said quietly. Right, Aunt Emily, get your things. Were leaving.
We? Emily shrieked, realising authority slipping away. Im not going anywhere! Weve two days left, its paid for!
Vera! Your children are mad! Theyre attacking people!
Finally, Vera found her voice. She stumbled over to Lucy, grabbing her shoulders, shaking her.
Why did you start all this?! Mum yelled, tears streaming down her cheeks, Why couldnt you stay quiet? Youve ruined everything! Were family! How could you embarrass me before everyone?!
Lucy gently but firmly removed her mothers grasp. Something inside her snapped for good.
Im not embarrassed, Mum, she whispered. You ought to be. For letting them treat us all like this.
She turned, leaving the kitchen behind. Sam followed.
They packed in silence. Beyond the wall, Emily sobbed, lamenting her dreadful fate; Lorraine threw in spiteful epithets, calling them heartless brats. Alice moaned about being woken.
We cant leave until morning, Sam muttered, zipping his bag. The next coach isnt till dawn.
I dont care, Lucy stuffed her make-up away. Id rather wait at the station than spend another second here.
Mum?
Lucy paused mid-fold.
Mums made her choice. Shes stayingto comfort her sister.
***
Lucy doesnt speak to her mother now, nor does Samthe bitterness never healed.
Vera called a couple of times, saying shed forgive her children if they apologised to Emily, but both Lucy and Sam agreed that kind of forgiveness was something they could happily do without.
Enough was enough.
If their mother wished to put her sister above her children, so be it. Life without rude relatives was proving far more peaceful.
